Conversations Between Adults
by DazzlinSparkle05
Summary: Bella tries to go through the motions of her life. She's in an ivy league school, has a great boyfriend and is a great ballet instructor. When she meets Edward she finds that maybe she doesn't just want to be normal. A/H, A/U, Lemons and Bostonward!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns Twilight, you know that. I just like the characters! ENJOY**

**BPOV**

"_I love you, Bella," he murmured sinking further into me._

_My fingers clawed at his back as he pounded into me hitting all the right places. Places I only wanted him to hit. I felt so much more from him than I did from anyone else._

"_Edward," I cried tugging at his bronze locks._

Okay…so…I might be getting a little ahead of myself. I should probably go back to the beginning because those memories only make me look like a shitty person. I didn't know what to say, but Edward Anthony Cullen changed my life. He loved me for me and would soon become my rock. Again, I was getting ahead of myself so here is our beginning.

I probably shouldn't be here, but I wasn't ready to go back to my apartment quite yet. I left Emmett's and my time with him was how it usually was. He was sweet and funny. He was the kind of person that could take a bad mood away by just making you laugh. As perfect as he was I felt suffocated.

He told me he loved me just an hour ago, I responded by saying it back. I didn't think I loved him the way he meant. Sure, we had been dating for eight months and I knew he'd been wanting to say it for a while.

A normal girlfriend would have replied and meant it. A normal girlfriend would have let her boyfriend ravage her after making those declarations.

"Hay gorgeous, what can I get you," A rough Boston accent said from in front of me. It wasn't as obnoxious as most of the townies I'd met, this voice had more of a soft lilt to it.

I looked up seeing the most distinctive green eyes. They were not emerald, but close to it.

"Jack and coke," I said quietly, feeling my face flush.

"Whiskey girl, huh?" he asked giving me a big grin.

"You could say that," I said giving him a forced smile.

"Here you go," he said placing my drink down before turning his attention to one of the other patrons.

I downed my drink feeling the slow burn once it slid down my throat. Being a child of a recovering alcoholic doing this probably wasn't the best idea. Charlie didn't hit me he would just drink and pass out on the couch. When my mom left, I was seven and that's when he slipped into a pattern of clutching his friend Jim Beam every night. I was ten when my dad's partner on the force, Billy Black told him he'd better seek help or he'd see to it I was taken away.

That was enough to push Charlie to start AA, I could see how upset he was with himself. To this day, I could still see so much guilt, but I was proud of him being twelve years sober. We ended up moving from Seattle to Forks for a clean start that's what Dad called it.

We were quiet people and he tried so much to make up for lost time. Billy and Dad stayed friends after we moved. When I was sixteen Billy's son Jacob asked me out becoming my first everything. Even then, when Jake told me he loved me I did the same exact thing as I'd done with Emmett.

The more I thought about it, I realized that I'd never been completely in love with anyone I'd dated.That was the cold hard truth. I wondered if that was how my mother felt, was that the reason she left? Was I really this defective?

"You sure gulped that whole thing down, sweets," he chuckled letting out a low whistle.

"Thirsty," I mumbled. "Can I have another?"

"Sure thing," he nodded pouring me another drink. "Wanna hear a joke?"

"The stage is all yours," I gestured to him as I downed the second drink.

"_Okay so two drunks are in a ba when one of them notices a beautiful woman sitting in the corner. One says to the other, "Jeez, I really wanna dance with dat girl."_

_The other drunk replies, " Go 'head and aks her, don't be such a chicken shit."_

_So the man approaches the lovely woman and says, "Scuse me. Would you like to boogey ooggie woogie?"_

_Seeing the man is wicked drunk the woman says, "I'm sorry. Right now I'm concentrating on matrimony, and I'd rather sit than dance."_

_So the man shrugs and returns to his friend._

_"So what did she say?" asks the friend._

_The drunk responded, "She said she's constipated on macaroni, and would rather shit in her pants," _he finished in a heavy Boston accent.

I couldn't help it, but I burst out in giggles. "You just told me a shit joke," I snorted.

"It made you laugh," he grinned with a shrug.

The bartender was all kinds of cute. He was very tall and extremely lanky. His crooked smile was what was pulling me in… _Stop it, Emmett just told you he loved you._

"Oh no, all my hard work just vanished," he said throwing his arms up playfully giving me a frown.

"Sorry," I sighed.

"How bout this I get you another drink and you let me guess your story."

"Am I that predictable?" I quirked an eyebrow feeling a nice buzz going.

"Maybe," he mused. "You're not from here your accent says that much."

"Where am I from?" I teased resting my elbows on the bar.

He squinted for a moment. "You either go to Harvard or Boston College."

"Harvard," I mumbled.

He nodded. "You're from the west coast. Not sure where, but definitely the west coast."

"Washington State."

"Seattle?"

"I was born there, grew up in a small town named Forks."

"Bet you were a cheerleader."

I shook my head with a laugh. I did ballet, but he didn't need to know that.

"Really?" he asked surprised.

"I'm what one would call athletically challenged," I said dryly.

The weird thing is I dated hard-core athletes. Jake was all state in football and Emmett was the captain on crew. I ended up with guys completely opposite from me.

"Hmmm," he laughed.

"What about you Mr. Bartender?"

"It's Edward," he offered holding out his hand.

"Bella," I supplied, shaking his hand.

"Would it be cheesy to say it suits you?"

"I hear it all the time," I shrugged.

He mirrored me resting his elbows on the bar. I looked down the bar and saw the only other guy there was an old man that I figured was a regular. Edward was tilting his head at me curiously when I returned my focus on him.

"What do you want to know?"

"You're from here?"

"Born and raised," he smiled, resting his chin on his hand.

"Your accent comes and goes?"

"I lived in California for a couple of years. I learned to tone it down, but if ya get me drunk sweetheart there's no controlling it," he teased giving me his full on accent.

"I like it," I said honestly.

"Thanks."

"So you're a professional bartender?"

"One would say that," he smirked.

"Ed," the man at the end of the bar yelled.

"Hold your horses, Donny," he yelled back. "I got to refill the lush, I'll be back."

I nodded as he left me. Was this considered flirting because I felt as though this was flirting? He made me tingly or, was it the alcohol that made me tingly?

My phone vibrated and I saw it was Em.

"Hello?"

"Hey you left your Lit book. I stopped by your place, but you're not there." I could hear the concern in his voice.

"I stopped somewhere for a drink. Stress release from finals, you know?"

"You want company?"

"I'm fine…just mentally preparing."

"Is this because I said I love you? I knew I should have waited," he berated himself.

"Emmett it's not that, really," I insisted.

"You sure?"

"Positive," I sighed.

Edward came back leaning against the bar watching me with interest. I felt shitty for some reason.

"Listen Em, I think I'm about to head out. I'll come by in the afternoon."

"Bells," he tried.

"See you tomorrow."

"I love you," he murmured.

"Love you too," I cringed hating how horrible I actually was.

I hung up, closing my eyes.

"Want my professional opinion?"

"What do you got?" I sighed.

"You shouldn't look like you're in pain or like you're about to throw up when you say I love you to anyone," he shrugged.

"Was it that bad?"

"It was that bad," he agreed.

"I'm a terrible person," I groaned, running my fingers through my hair.

"Why?" he asked simply.

"Why?" I laughed wryly. "I had this great man say he loves me for the first time and now I'm sitting in a bar, confessing what a shit I am to the devastatingly handsome bartender."

"Devastatingly handsome, huh?" he beamed.

"Who's drunk? This girl," I said poking my thumb to my chest.

"A very cute drunk girl," he winked.

"See this is not good," I groaned.

"You think too much," he grinned, looking at a couple of guys that had stumbled in.

"Ed, give us a round," A blonde guy shouted definitely a townie.

"In a minute, Jazz," he called back. "My brother."

"Oh it's okay, I think I'm done…"

"I'll be back," he left without further argument.

I watched him walk up to the man. They had the same eyes, but that was where the comparison's ended. His brother was just a bit taller than him, but looked younger. Edward said something and then Jazz looked at me curiously and nodded clasping his hand on his shoulder.

Once I caught their gaze I focused on the top of the bar, my glass was almost empty again. I've had… what? Three maybe four?

"Hay, gorgeous," Edward murmured from his place behind the bar.

"I think I should call a cab," I mumbled.

"I'll give you some water instead of more Jack, stay and keep me company," he pleaded with a cute grin.

I stared at him. His white t-shirt had holes around the collar and his jeans appeared to be holey and ripped. He looked good and there was just something about him that made him likeable. He was charming without even trying.

"You're hesitation means you're staying," he said.

"You're a cocky one," I laughed.

"I'm just a very sure person," he said slapping his palms on the bar, leaning closer to me.

"You obviously heard me tell a guy I loved him," I pointed out.

"You looked disgusted as soon as the words left your mouth."

"Hmm," I said distracted.

"Can I make a proposal?" he asked biting his lip in thought.

"Is this a long term proposal?"

"Of course," he said cupping my cheek. "Be my friend, Bella."

"Are you serious?" I fucking giggled. "We just met."

"And I would be a complete dumbass to let you leave without getting to know you. I have this gut feeling there was a reason you came into this bar," he fisted his shirt against his shirt dramatically and I could see the playfulness in his eyes.

"Such a passionate man," I said giving him a fake swoon.

"I'm a heart on my sleeve kind of guy, beautiful," he chuckled.

I glanced at the clock on the wall noticing it was really late and I shouldn't be out in this part of town this late.

"Call me a cab and I'll promise to come back," I winked.

"And I'm to believe you?"

"I keep my promises… always," I smiled, reaching my hand up to ruffle his hair.

"I'll call you that cab, but you bring your gorgeous ass back in here," he pointed squinting his eyes.

"I will most definitely be back," I nodded.

As I went to sit back on my stool, Edward's lips caught my cheek. I most definitely felt my skin tingle from his unexpected kiss.

"I'm holding you to that," he said picking up the cordless phone behind the bar.

When I stepped foot into the cab with Edward closing the door behind me I felt a tug in my chest. He slapped his hand on the top of the cab and waved at me as we drove away. I knew I was definitely going back to that bar.

**A/N: And I give you Conversations Between Adults… Here's the deal I am wrapping up Unconventional so usually when I end a story I move on to my next idea. My dilemma was that I had two ideas and they kind of wrote themselves out. So this is where I need your help. I'm going to post a chapter from each new story and will go by your responses. The one that has the best reader response will be the next updated story. As always my amazing beta is Dolphin62598!**


	2. Chapter 2

**BPOV**

I ran across the floor leaping a short distance before my toe tapped down. As I finished the room roared with cheers. Four sets of little arms wrapped around me.

"Miss Bella, you did so good," Bree smiled up at me.

"Any real ballerina could do that," Jane said with a scowl.

"Miss Bella is a real ballerina," Rini said fixing her a glare.

"No fighting girls," I warned my class. "That's the end of class for today."

They four girls I taught groaned walking over to their mothers. Bree remained at my side wrapping her arms around me.

"Thank you for teaching me my dances Miss Bella," she said kissing my cheek.

"You are very welcome Breanna," I said hugging her back. "Your mommy's waiting for you, kiddo."

Her three-year-old chubby legs ran over to her mother and I had to giggle at how cute she was. I absolutely loved teaching this class. I had been dancing since I was Bree's age. I guess it was the only good thing my mother had done for me.

Renee had been a dancer for a Seattle Ballet Company since before I was born. She was offered a job in New York that she could not turn down and that was the reason she had left my father. As much as Charlie hated ballet he knew I loved it resulting in me staying in it.

After my first few weeks at Harvard, I happened to stumble across Alice's school. It felt like home. She grilled me on why I wasn't a professional and I told her it was just a hobby. A stress reliever. She offered me a job and I'd been here ever since.

"Volturi has an attitude," Alice said making her presence known.

As always she was in a black off the shoulder sweater, black skinny jeans and her black Louboutin's that made her four foot nine frame almost my height. Her short black hair cropped perfectly in a pixie cut.

"She's five she thinks she knows everything."

"Her mom's a bitch," she said simply.

"Or that too," I laughed.

"So…Emmett called looking for you last night," she said nonchalantly. Alice didn't do nonchalance.

"He found me," I shrugged, stuffing my towel in my bag.

I sat on the bench slipping off my pointe shoe. I flexed my toes hearing them crack before putting on my Uggs.

"What happened, Isabella?" she glared.

"Don't ever call me that, Mary Alice," I spat back.

I played with my fingers before meeting Alice's eyes. "He said he loved me," I said quietly.

"Oh, Bella, that's a good thing, right?"

"Em's great, but I just don't love him like that…I think. I don't know what to do."

"How about you go take a breather for a while. Go and think."

"I have my Keats paper due next week, I don't have time to get away," I sighed.

"Think of a place where you can feel happy and relaxed. Go there and be just that. Decide if you really want more with Emmett, if not you both can move on."

The bell Alice had in place downstairs to let us know who was coming and going rang. Through the glass of the studio I saw Emmett's massive form coming up the stairs. He was wearing his usual button down and dress jeans. His curly brown hair was hanging in his eyes. I felt like shit noticing he had my book in hand and a defeated look on his face.

"Go, I'll come up with something," Alice said standing making her way to the studio doors.

I heaved my bag on my shoulder making my escape. I did manage to leave through the back exit and climb down the fire escape. I hurried to my truck probably looking ridiculous in my dance clothes. I sighed looking down at my leotard, tights, shorts and hoodie combo.

Before pulling out of my spot I shut off my phone. Alice said to think. I needed to go to the library, but that wasn't where my truck went. I glanced at the clock on my dashboard read five o'clock and then at the bar I was parked across from.

I ran my hands over my face taking a few deep breaths. I reached over grabbing my messenger bag and got out of my truck.

_What the hell am I doing?_

I pushed open the heavy black door. It was just like it was last night, dark with dim lights only over the bar and the tables. Edward was behind the bar counting bottles and marking a sheet. The bar was kind of busy considering the girl that was bartending was moving around Edward to get to the other patrons.

She had big blonde hair definitely hair sprayed to death. She had make-up caked on her eyes. To be honest she was the blonde version of J-Woww in her little black shirt and short jean shorts.

"Jesus Christ Almighty," she said stopping what she was doing to look at me.

Her accent was thicker than Edward's was and bordering on Fran Dresher. She was obviously a townie.

"What, Rose?" Edward whined whipping his head to look at her.

"We have Black Swan up in here," she snorted.

Edward looked at her as if she were insane, but followed her gaze to me.

"Be still my fuckin' heart, I must be dreamin' huh?" he grinned coming out from behind the bar.

He walked over to me picking me up in a warm hug.

"You came back, gorgeous," he murmured kissing my cheek.

When he placed me back on my feet I realized he had a good foot on me. I smiled up at him as he pinched my cheek.

"Ed, what the fuck?" the girl said throwing her hands up.

"This is Bella," he shrugged wrapping his arm around me.

"I don't know who that is," she said giving him a look before going to the end of the bar to help someone.

"My kid sister," he said rolling his eyes. "Take a seat."

"Uh… I just wanted to say hey, I was on my way to the library to finish a paper. I should be going," I rambled.

He just stood there giving me a big crooked smile.

"You only need a place to study?"

"I need to finish my term paper."

He grabbed my hand taking me past the bar down a hallway. Once he opened the door I saw it was an office.

"I have inventory to do," he smiled pushing a strand of hair that fell out of my ponytail behind my ear. "You can finish your paper here."

_Thinking place, Alice said go somewhere you feel happy and relaxed._

"You have work," I argued.

"I'll be stuck back here all night, sweets. It will be agonizing, please stay," he said softly.

"I…" I said and his green eyes looked so hopeful. "Okay."

"Great," he said taking a seat at his desk.

"So this is your bar?" I asked taking a seat across from him.

"My uncle's he can't work a computer for the life of him, so I handle his business."

"That's nice of you," I smiled.

"He's a good uncle," he shrugged like it was nothing.

I pulled my laptop out and started to set up my work.

"Your wicked smart, aren't you?"

"I do well or at least I try," I said.

"Whatever you say, Harvard," he snorted, tapping away on his keyboard. "You said you weren't an athlete."

"I don't consider ballet a sport."

"Ballet is beautiful," he commented.

"It's all I know," I said honestly.

"Are you in it professionally?"

"No, I teach a three to five year old class. My friend owns the studio I teach for her and I get free studio time to do my thing."

"You teach that young? You must have patience of a saint."

"They're great girls," I smiled thinking of little Bree.

We were quiet after that and I was actually getting a lot of work done. Every once in a while I would catch Edward looking at me, but I would go back to my work. I started going through my book and I felt his fingers link with my free hand. We said nothing as we did our work and held hands.

"You still tellin' boys you love them?" he asked raising an eyebrow.

"No today."

"You're avoiding him," he nodded.

"I don't want to hurt him, he's a really great guy."

"Can I give you friend advice? Because we are friends now, I mean you have come to see me two days in a row and all," he smirked.

"Shoot."

"You don't love him, so don't string the sucker along."

"You're just saying this…"

"Why am I just sayin' this?" he challenged as I bit my lip. After not saying anything he stared to talk again. "I'm just sayin' this because I think you should go out with me."

"I'm with someone."

"You don't love him," he said his eyes burning into me.

"I can't do this," I said quietly.

He sighed letting go of my hand, but I only held his tighter.

"Please, we're friends, remember?"

He nodded running his free hand through his hair. Edward moved to sit beside me on the desk, turning my hands in his.

"Your hands are small," he said.

"Or your hands are big."

He kissed my hand quickly before resting it back on his lap. He bit his lip looking into my eyes.

"Can I maybe see you dance, sometime?"

"I usually dance for my students or me," I said hesitantly.

"Then let me ask…can I watch you teach class, friend?" he asked giving me a big smile.

"Uh, sure."

"Good."

The door pushed open revealing Edward's sister.

"Hay asshole, thanks for leavin' me out there," she glared.

"You knew I had paperwork to do," he said leaning on the desk.

"Well, your brotha's out there startin' shit with people," she said throwing her hands up.

"Oh, he's my brotha," he chuckled. "He's only my brotha when he's in trouble."

"Just get your ass out there," she sighed leaving.

I looked at my clock on my laptop. "Shit, it's eleven thirty, I should head home."

I started cleaning up my stuff noticing he was watching me.

"I need to handle out there, I'll see you soon?"

"Yeah," I nodded.

Edward kissed my head leaving his uncle's office. I reached over grabbing a post-it writing down the studio's address and my schedule. I stuck right on his laptop screen. I grabbed my bag and headed out. As I walked down the hallway I saw Edward pulling his brother off another guy. I hurried out of there after seeing some of the other patrons start to get loud.

I turned on my phone noticing I had missed calls. Mostly from Emmett and Alice, I decided to call Alice back.

"Finally," she answered.

"Hey."

"So, you done thinking?"

"Sort of?"

"Emmett looked like someone kicked his puppy. You better hurry up," she said. "Where are you?"

"Working on my paper."

"You weren't at the library, I drove past there and didn't see the beast."

"I went to a friends place."

"Uh-huh," she said knowingly.

"I did," I defended.

"Don't get mad at me, but I'm having one of my Alice moments. All I'm saying is don't fuck around on Emmett, you're not the kind of person to cheat. End it now with him, Bella. Stay friends with him."

"I did meet someone," I said quietly.

"You'll figure this out and remember I'm always here for you."

We talked as I drove to my apartment and I started to feel better. Once I got home I showered and crawled into bed. That was the first night I dreamt of Edward.

**A/N: And here is chapter two and Bostonward. You all are not making this easy. I'll decide after this chapter what's going on. Both stories will eventually be written. As always I want to thank my beta Dolphin62598 for her help!**


	3. Chapter 3

**BPOV**

"Hey," I said quietly as I approached Emmett.

"Oh, so now you're talking to me?" he asked looking up from his book raising an eyebrow.

This was Emmett. A good ol' Tennessee boy that loved his mama and daddy. He grew up in basically the backwoods of the country. His family had nothing, but he used athletics and brains to get him here on a full scholarship.

I literally stumbled into Emmett one day after my study group. He wouldn't let me leave until he bought me coffee. We had a lot in common; both grew up in small towns and were here on scholarships

"I'm sorry." Was all I could come up with.

"It's been a week, Bells. I've either had to deal with your voice mail or Alice. And I know that little Pixie knows what's going on."

He cupped my face bringing my lips to his and I froze.

"Mmmhmmm, that's what I thought," Em sighed.

"Emmett…"

"Bells, it's one of those shame on me kind of things, I pushed when clearly you weren't ready for this… for us."

"I do care about you," I said earnestly.

"I know you do, that's why you've avoided me because you didn't want me hurting," he said his blue eyes understanding.

I sat down next to him letting my head rest on his shoulder. Being with Emmett just felt comforting, like he would do anything to keep me safe. I think the love I felt for Emmett was more brotherly than anything.

"So I guess we're breaking up," he said intertwining his fingers with mine.

"As clichéd as this sounds… you'll still be my friend, right?"

"Any time you need me I'm there, Bells. All you have to say is the word."

"I'm sorry I was a shitty girlfriend, Em," I whisper.

He wrapped his arms around me giving me one of his signature bear hugs. Emmett was a good man and he didn't deserve my flightiness.

"We're all shitty in this," he sighed tugging on my ponytail.

My phone started going off. It was Alice and I noticed I was running late for my class.

"Go teach your little mini ballerinas," he chuckled letting me go.

"Can we do lunch later on this week?" I asked him picking my bag up.

"Let me know the time and place and I'm there, but go easy on me not all of us can stay away from meat like you," he winked.

"See you later, Em," I kissed his cheek.

On the way to Alice's studio I kept playing over how well that went in my head. There was no bitterness or hostility he completely understood or at least he appeared to. I ran up the studio stairs seeing Alice leading the girls through their warm-ups. I threw my bag by the door and hurriedly put my hair up in a tight bun.

"Miss Bella," my girls squealed once they saw me.

Alice shook her head and went off towards her office. They all hugged me, even Jane, which was a little shocking.

"Okay ladies, why don't we get into first position?" I asked as they all stood straight turning the balls of their feet out completely. Their heels touched each other and their feet faced outwards, trying to form a straight line.

We went from there as they finished with the rest of their warm up. I took the opportunity to stretch. I suddenly got the feeling I was being watched by someone other by my students or their mothers. I looked over to side of the room where the mothers were chatting and saw Edward's eyes on me. He smiled giving me a wave.

I couldn't help but wave back. I could imagine the look on my face was super giddy. When I went back to checking on the girls Alice was leaning in the doorway of her office smirking at me.

I rolled my eyes going back to teaching my girls. Today we were working on plies and some pointe work. They were adorable to watch because they tried so hard with their tiny little legs. As a treat I showed them a Fouetté en tournant, which was basically me spinning on one leg. It held their attention as they watched in awe.

"Miss Bella, I missed you," Bree said hugging my leg.

"I missed you too."

"Janey say you not coming today," she frowned.

"I was running a little late, I'll always be here," I told her poking he little button nose. "Your Mommy is waiting for you."

"Bye Miss Bella," she sang running over to her mother.

Edward stood placing his hands in his pockets giving me a wide grin. "Hay, gorgeous."

"You came," I smiled leaning up on my pointe shoes to kiss his cheek.

"Things have been busy at the bar, I swear I tried to come down here before this, but Rose would bitch about this or that. You'd think I was leaving there foreva," he snorted giving me a tight hug.

"Now… now what do we have here?" Alice asked walking over to us.

"Alice this is Edward, Edward this is my best friend Alice and she owns the school."

"Pleasure," he said in his thick accent making the sure sound like sha.

"Oh a townie," she smiled shaking his hand.

"Me a townie," he scoffed. "I hear ya, ya know."

"I'm from Connecticut," Alice defended.

"Still New England," he shrugged. "Still an accent."

"You're teasing her," I nudged him.

"Maybe," he grinned looking down at me as he cupped my cheek.

"Hey, your jaw," I said letting my fingers graze the bruise on his jaw.

"Never break up a fight between a drunk and a drunk ex-marine," he rolled his eyes.

"Well guys I need to get back to some... paperwork," Alice said and I forgot she was even there. "Bella don't forget our mandatory meeting later as in you can't get out of it."

As if she could be anymore subtle, we never had meetings.

"I'm not getting you in any trouble am I?" Edward asked.

"No not at all," I smiled reassuringly.

He linked his fingers with mine giving them a squeeze as he swung them back and forth.

"Hay, I saw a coffee shop next door, how bout I buy us some?"

"You want to buy me coffee?"

"I want to do more than buy you coffee, but I feel like this is the best way to start out, toots."

"You have a lot of nick-names for me."

"You're just so damn cute, how could I not?"

There was no way I could decline because he was sure about everything. Honestly, his confidence was a turn-on. Looking at him, I could see what he wanted… me.

I bit my lip. "Coffee sounds great."

He kept hold of my hand and we left for the coffee shop. Edward was quiet as we walked, but his thumb stroked the back of my hand. Ever since the night we first met, he'd been gentle with me. He looked rough, the stubble on his face looked like a beard. I was pretty sure he was wearing the same thing I left him in last week, but he looked good.

I'd broken things off with Em two hours ago and I was already lusting after Edward. _I'm such a slore…_

I stopped as we reached the door.

"What?" he asked.

"Uh… I think this is a bad idea," I sighed wanting to kick myself.

"What is? Getting coffee?"

"I just broke up with my boyfriend and by just I mean two hours ago… and now you're buying me coffee. I think you're…plain and simple you make me nervous, like a good nervous, but I don't know what I'm doing…" I rambled leaving it at that.

He waited patiently for me to stop and sighed.

"Can I be honest with ya?" he asked as his eyes never left mine.

I nodded slightly dazed with him.

"I'll go at whatever speed you want, Bella. I'm not here to rush you into anything. I came to see you because you haven't shown your face in my bar for almost a week, I missed seeing you," he shrugged. "Now how bout some coffee?"

I told him I wanted a small black coffee and grabbed us a table by the window. The fall leaves this time of year were beautiful. I loved being in Boston it was better than the constant rain of Washington and their winters were snowy and awesome.

"See something you like?" Edward asked setting my coffee in front of me.

"I love the weather," I smiled up at him.

"Yeah, this time of year is always great," he mused taking a sip of his coffee.

"How do you drink your coffee?"

"Black with a shit ton of creamer and sugar," he laughed.

"Weak," I giggled.

"I can't drink it without, it just tastes like tar then."

"You've drank tar?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

"Nah, but that's what tar would taste like if I did," he grinned resting his elbows on the table leaning forward. "So you broke up with your boyfriend, wanna talk about it?"

"Not much to talk about we decided to stay friends."

"Like how you're friends with me?" he implored.

"Not as friendly as we are."

"I intend for us to get way, way beyond friendly," he said waggling his eyebrows.

"We should take whatever this is slow," I said carefully.

"I can do slow."

"Can you?"

"I meant it when I said I'll go at whatever speed you want to."

I nodded feeling slightly better, but still really shitty. Emmett was a good man and here I was drinking coffee with another man right after breaking up with him.

"I want to play twenty questions," Edward said taking my hand in his.

"Okay you start," I smiled.

"How long did you date…"

"Emmett."

"How long did you date Emmett?"

"Eight months, my turn."

"Can you tell me more about your fight?"

"My brotha, the ex-marine got into a fight with Donny, one of our regulars. It happened right after you left. Jazz doesn't know how to control his temper," Edward sighed. "Do you like Harvard?"

"Yeah, I do. It's one of the best decisions I've made in my life," I smiled. "Are Jasper and Rose your only siblings?"

"They are. We have the same mom but different dads. We were adopted when I was nine, Jazz was six and Rose was three."

"You're all three years apart?"

"Yeah," he said. "They separated us at first, put us in different places… I was put with Esme and Carlisle. When I told Esme about Jazz and Rose, she wanted them too. She didn't want us apart."

"And you've been with them ever since?"

"Rose still lives at home so, yeah."

"They must be great people."

"Esme stayed at home with us and Carlisle was a doctor at a clinic."

"You've been through a lot," I said.

"I had the best people raisin' me," he shrugged taking a sip of his coffee. "So how long have you been teaching ballet?"

"Since I was sixteen, but I've been dancing since I was three."

"What got you into it?"

"My mom," I said quietly.

"She must be really proud."

"Umm… my mom left me and my dad for the New York Ballet Company when I was seven."

"Christ, I'm sorry."

"No, it's fine. From what I remember of her she wasn't a good mom, she didn't know what to do with me half of the time. My dad had a rough time figuring out that same thing after she left, but he got the whole dad thing covered."

"You're close with your dad then?"

"As close as a person can be with both of us on opposite sides of the country," I shrugged.

"So your brother is an ex-marine?"

"Fucking Iraq made him crazy. He used to be quiet and a gentle person, but since they shipped him back home, he's not been right. His temper is short fused, and his right hook is wicked," he winced rubbing his jaw.

"Have you tried getting him help?"

"He refuses and is up in my face about it," Edward sighed looking down at my hand as he played with my fingers.

"How long has he been home?"

"About seven months."

We sat in silence just flexing our finger around each other's. He made me feel comfortable and he was so laid back. It was… refreshing to all the stress that has been surrounding my life.

I reached for his phone, which was surprisingly super techy and complicated. He leaned back in his chair with a smirk.

"In case you ever want to talk," I explained finishing my contact information in his phone.

He grabbed it out of my hands with his smirk still present. My phone beeped and I looked at my messages.

_Hey, gorgeous._

He stood looking down at me.

"I need to get back to the bar, hopefully Rose hasn't scorched the place. Walk ya back?"

"Sure," I smiled taking his outstretched hand.

When he stopped at the door to the studio, he kissed my cheek and told me he'd call me. I watched him walk away and for the first time in my life, I felt butterflies in my stomach.

**A/N: So that is that, what do you think? Not going to lie, but this will probably get a little angsty for what I have in mind for the rest of the plot. Remember all of what you've read so far. My beta is Dolphin62598 and she is awesome!**


	4. Chapter 4

**BPOV**

"You're so serious when you work," Edward laughed from across the desk.

"Well this is serious work," I said biting my lip.

This was my third time at the bar since he visited me at the studio. Almost two weeks had passed and I had grown super close to Edward. He seemed to feel the same way, but he was more laid back about it than I was.

"Am I your muse or somethin'?" he asked clucking his tongue.

"Or something," I snorted.

He stared at me for a moment.

"So are you telling people I'm your guy yet?"

"My guy?" I smiled.

"Yea, your beau, boy, man, boyfriend, lover…" he said lifting his eyebrows.

I regarded him and then turned the tables on him.

"Answer me this are you telling people I'm your girl?"

He looks at me dead on. "My Ma… I told her Isabella Swan is my girl."

"You told your mom?" I asked a little breathless.

"Of course, I told her," he said picking my hand up.

"What exactly have you said?"

"I told her how this angel stumbled into my bar… I said the angel was wicked brilliant and gorgeous… I went on to say how the angel was the most graceful creature I had ever seen when I watch her dance."

"You said all of that?" I croaked feeling this sudden wall of emotion hit me.

"I did," he comes closer and his lips meet mine. "Isabella."

"Why didn't you have a girlfriend before me?"

"I wasn't looking for anyone," he shrugged. "I've always been kind of a loner, but the night we met it was like someone hit me with this thing. I had to know you."

"Are you real?" I asked looking at him accusingly. "You say such perfect things and Alice asked me the other day if you were real… I'm starting to question that myself."

"Gorgeous, you're so fuckin' cute," he grinned stealing another kiss.

"Edward Cullen man of mystery," I mumbled.

"Aw, come on, now," he laughed holding my chin. "Don't pout."

This… him and me was effortless. The fact that it was so effortless petrified me beyond anything I could ever comprehend.

"You want to be my boyfriend," I said stating that fact aloud.

"Ed," Rose whined bursting threw the door.

"What?" he groaned.

"Jazz is out there startin' shit with Donny again," she glared.

She was wearing her usual big hair and tight clothes.

"Isabella," she said mockingly.

"Rosalie," I nodded.

"Are you going to do sumptin' or what?" Rose spat at Edward.

"Jesus, we need to quit serving him," he sighed standing to his feet.

"Hay, I didn't give that asshole nuthin'. He went somewhere else and got fucked up all on his own."

"I'll be back, gorgeous," he said kissing my head as he passed.

Even though he had said he would be back, I started to clean up my stuff. When I looked up Rosalie was still in the doorway watching me.

"Yes?"

"You hurt my brotha… just don't think I'm above kickin' yea ass." With that, she turned and left me.

Edward didn't come back for another half an hour. When I went to hug him, he winced saying Jasper missed Donny and caught a jab to his side.

"Do a lot of fights happen here?" I asked brushing the hair in his eyes back.

"Not usually," he said cupping my face in his hands.

"Your brother kind of worries me," I said letting my fingers graze his soon to be bruised side.

"He a good kid…he's been through a lot. I'm trying to get him back to the Jazz he used to be, you know before he deployed for Iraq."

"You're a good man," I said biting my lip.

"I try to be someone Jazz and Rose can look up to."

"I think you're the best brother they could have."

"Hmmm," he nodded. "Do I have the honor of saying you're my girl?"

"Yes, you do." I smiled giving him a quick peck.

"I'll see you later, gorgeous?"

"Definitely, call you?"

"You better."

I grabbed my bag slinging it over my shoulder and with one last kiss, I was out of the bar. Rosalie glared at me as I passed her. I just shrugged off her cold demeanor.

A lot happened tonight for Edward and me. We became exclusive and since breaking up with Emmett, this felt right. Usually I was the girl that waited for the other shoe to drop, but Edward seemed to make all those silly self-conscious thoughts disappear.

"Bella," Jasper yelled throwing his hands up giving me a lazy smirk.

"Jasper," I nodded curtly trying to get around him so I could get into my truck.

"Fuckin' Eddie said I had to go home… sleep it off," he slurred getting closer.

"Maybe you should listen to him," I said nervously fiddling with my keys.

"Fuck that," he spat. "I'm not a child… I'm a man… I been in a fucking war… I've seen death. Children here don't see that kind of death. Eddie doesn't know fuckin' shit."

"Jasper," A tall man with blondish gray hair walked towards us.

He was wearing a leather jacket with a navy t-shirt and jeans. He had to have been in his fifties. His face held nothing but sympathy and heartache as he looked at Jasper.

"Uh-oh, looks like big brother tattled on me to the old man," Jasper scoffed now leaning against my truck. "Pops"

This mystery man was Edward's father.

"Jazz, get in the car," he nodded to the older Mercedes two cars in front of my truck.

"I just talkin' to Bella," he shrugged.

Recognition flashed on Carlisle's face as he gave me a sad smile.

"Please Jazz, it's late your mom is waiting up for us and she's worried," he sighed scrubbing his hand over his face much like I'd seen Edward do when he was frustrated with paperwork dealing with the bar.

"I'm twenty-two years old I don't need my Daddy to come and get me," he yelled again causing me to jump at his tone.

In his little tirade, he punched my driver's side door. I heard his knuckles crunch.

"God," Carlisle said rushing to him.

He wrapped his arm around Jasper as he slid to the ground doubling over in pain. He whispered and murmured over Jasper's cussing and yelling. Somehow he was able to get him over and into his car before coming back to me.

"I want to apologize for him. I know this is not how Edward nor I wanted me meeting you. "

"It's okay," I sighed as I watched Jasper squish his face against the window. "Is he going to be alright?"

"Since he's been home he's been getting into trouble, he hasn't always been like this."

"That's what Edward has said."

"I should be getting him home; it was nice meeting you Bella. My wife is excited to meet you as well," he smiled warmly giving my shoulder a pat.

I watched Carlisle leave with Jasper before I got in my truck. I felt for Edward's brother knowing what a demon addiction was. It consumed us at our lowest and it took only the right kind of support to pull someone back.

Dance had always been an outlet for me. When my mother ignored meand left. While my father battled his addictions with alcohol.

The studio lights shined brightly on me; the soft tinkle of the piano keys gave me my start. I'm up on my toes as I twist and spin. I jump in a grand jeté soaring across the hardwood floor, from one side to another feeling just the music nothing else. I rise up in pointe and then down in grand plié performing the only movement I'll know from my heart. This is what true peace feels like to me I will know no other.

I heard the clapping as soon as I finished, opening my eyes I couldn't help, but smile when I saw Edward grinning proudly back to me. I took off in a sprint across the floor jumping into his arms.

"You are breathtaking," he whispered holding me close.

I sighed contently against his neck. I felt him turn his head slightly and I looked in the direction he was staring in. Caught up in all things Edward I didn't notice I had two more people added to my audience.

"Hello," A petite woman with caramel hair smiled at me.

She was elegant in her navy blue cardigan and light khaki pants. Her hair half pinned up and make-up soft. I then noticed the cute toddler attached to her hip. The little girl looked like a porcelain doll in her white and navy floral dress and blonde cork-screw curls.

"Bella, this is my Ma, Esme and my niece Olivia," he murmured slowly setting me down.

I looked up at him curiously, but smiled at his mother and niece.

"It's very nice to meet you," I said holding my hand out only to be pulled into a hug.

"I am so happy he found you," she whispered.

When we pulled away, Edward slipped his hand into mine.

"I like how you dance," Olivia said shyly.

She couldn't have been more than three. I was curious as to whose child she was.

"Thank you," I cooed, cupping her little cheek.

She was truly adorable.

"So we came here for a reason," Edward wrapped his arms around my waste to rest his chin on my shoulder.

"You did?" I asked letting my hands rest on his forearms.

"Edward said you teach a class of younger girls," Esme said.

This time I noticed the small lilting accent in her voice. Maybe Irish?

"I do, three to four," I nodded.

"I thought she might like to take some classes," Edward said now lifting his arm to play with Olivia's curls.

She stuck her little arms out to him. He let go of me and easily took her from his mother. My heart melted a little seeing how gentle he was with her.

"Liv, you want Bella to show you how to dance?" he asked.

"Yes," she nodded furiously.

"I can give her private lessons," I offered.

"No I can pay Alice tuition for classes, I have the money," he said slightly offended.

"I didn't mean it like that," I defended. "I meant I can do one on one classes with her. I do it with some of the other girls."

"We wanted her to be able to do some activities with lil' ones her own age," Esme said softly.

"Okay then," I said. "Alice should be in her office."

Edward didn't really say anything, but took off towards her office while his mother stayed with me. I sat on one of the benches taking my pointe shoes off.

"Edward has a tendency to be very proud," she said sitting next to me.

"I can see that," I smiled.

"He's very protective of that lil' girl."

"If you don't mind my asking whose is she?"

"It's alright," she said patting my arm. "She's Jasper's."

"Oh," I said more surprised than I should.

"Lucy, Olivia's mother found out she was pregnant right after Jasper left for basic training. After she had Olivia she left, Carlisle and I were granted temporary custody while Jasper was deployed. Edward has been the closest thing to a father she has had since she was born," she explained.

I was right when I told Edward he was a good man because he truly was.

"Carlisle said he met you last night and I knew it was time for me to," she confessed.

"I glad we met," I said.

Edward came back with Olivia and a shopping bag, which I knew was her dance outfit and shoes.

"Mimi look what I gots," Olivia said pointing to her bag.

"Oh, let me see, bonny," she enthused taking her granddaughter back.

"I'll meet ya's back at the car?" Edward asked her.

She nodded giving me another hug before her and Olivia left us.

"I want to apologize for my brotha' last night. My dad told me what happened and Jasper shouldn't have bothered ya."

"How long has he been back, Edward?"

"Almost six months?" he said not sure. "Olivia scares the shit out of him. He was shot in the shoulder that was the reason he was sent back home."

"He drinks around her?"

"He has his own place close to the bar. Liv lives with my parents and Rosalie. He's been coming around to see her more. My dad gets wary of him being around her."

I reached up on my sore toes giving him a kiss.

"What was that for?" he grinned resting his hand on my lower back.

"For being pretty wonderful," I said running my fingers through his hair.

He kissed me back.

"If I get a kiss for being wonderful you do too."

This was something I never felt. It was all consuming. It was love.

**A/N: Bostonward is kind of swoon worthy. Let me clarify last chapter's a/n. Bella will have angst but not with Edward. They're in this for good pretty much… My beta as always is Dolphin62598! I'm going to try to update all my stories this weekend it's my birthday tomorrow so we'll see how that goes…**


	5. Chapter 5

**BPOV**

"Chicken parm," I ordered, handing the waitress my menu.

She took one more meaningful look at my date, causing me to roll my eyes.

"Could she have been more obvious?" I snorted, taking a sip of my wine.

Leaning toward me, Edward smirked, "Whatevea do ya mean, gorgeous?".

He was wearing a blue and white striped button down with a navy sweater over it and gray slacks. He cleaned up very well. Edward reached up and gently pinched my cheek.

"You're not that innocent," I said, patting his cheek.

"Kiss?" he asked, tilting his head, pointing to his lips. "Come on, lay one on me."

I met his leaning form over the table, giving him his kiss with a giggle.

"Mwah," he said, smacking his lips against mine one more time. "Now that's what I'm talking about."

"You are so goofy," I laughed at his antics.

This was our first official date. No bar, no dance studio just me and Edward in a fancy upscale Italian establishment. I stared at him when he pulled his beat up Camaro to the valet.

"I'm taking my girl out for the night," he shrugged, cupping my cheek.

He was trying to prove something to me. I would have been fine going to any restaurant, hell we could have gone to UBurger in Kenmore Square for all I cared. As long as I was hanging out with him, I was happy. Edward had made me happy the past few months.

One thing I'd learned about Edward was that he is a very proud man. Olivia's dance classes were the first time I saw that. He was determined to pay what everyone else did. What he didn't know is that Alice fibbed about the price a little. She somehow knew he would be stubborn.

"Bella?" I heard. Turning my head, I met Emmett's smiling face.

I noticed he was wearing a white button down, black blazer and dark jeans. This place was kind of more than ridiculous with its dress code.

"Hey Em," I said awkwardly.

It had been a while since I'd ran into Emmett. The last time I saw him was when we broke up. Alice still went out with our usual group, meaning she saw him all of the time. Not that I was avoiding him or our friends; I had become really involved with hanging out with Edward at the bar. I'd even started bartending a few nights a week. So between school, dance, bartending and Edward, I was very occupied at the moment.

"Long time, no see?" he said, nudging my shoulder.

I took a glance at Edward, noticing his curious face.

"Yeah, it's been a while," I answered, feeling a little guilty.

"Hey man, I'm Emmett," Em said, sticking his hand out politely.

"Edward," he nodded, shaking his hand.

He held back on the accent. I knew Edward didn't full-on talk like he was a Southie unless he was comfortable with the person he was having the conversation with.

"So what have you been up to, Bells?" Emmett asked with a warm smile.

Here's the thing about Em, he was insanely brilliant, but socially inept. This was one of those times that it shined through most. He obviously didn't notice my black silk dress with lace trim and heels, or my hair hung in loose curls. I can't remember a time he had ever seen me like this. The only time I could remember even coming close to dressing like this, while I was with Emmett was for one of his crew banquets.

"Hay you, I'm sorry, but me and my girl are trying to have a date here," Edward threw up his hands.

"Your girl?" Em frowned in confusion. "Oh, Bells?"

"That would be me," I said dryly.

"Sorry, I was havin' drinks with the guys and saw you. I haven't seen you around so I thought I would say hi," he rambled in his deep southern twang he got when he was nervous. I felt bad. "Have a nice date, and it was nice seeing ya."

"Bye, Em."

I looked down at my wine as Emmett left and felt Edward slide his hand under mine.

"That was the 'I love ya guy'?" he asked softly.

Looking up, I nodded.

"He kinda needed ta get a clue," Edward snorted, taking a swig of his beer.

"He's nice," I defended.

Emmett was a wonderful and loving man; I wouldn't allow anyone to talk poorly about him.

"Sorry," Edward said, putting his hand up in defense.

"Be honest with me, what is all of this?" I asked, gesturing around the stuffy restaurant.

"I wanted to take you out," he said, folding his arms across his chest.

Great this was our first date and argument.

"When have I ever given you the impression that this is me? This is the first date that I've had to dress like this."

"You deserve a date like this," he said earnestly.

"Edward, I grew up in Forks, Washington, population three thousand, one hundred twenty-five. My dad is the Chief of Police; he took me to the lodge or the diner every other night for dinner. I definitely don't expect this. I want you…"

He took both of my hands in his, running his thumb across my knuckles. His green eyes peering up at me, his face looking sheepish.

"Can I apologize fa bein' an ass?" he asked quietly.

"Is this a sincere apology we're talking about or are you just apologizing to get into my pants?" I asked, freeing my right hand to brush his hair out of his eyes.

"Sincere, of course," he snorted. "I want to spoil you, Bella."

"I don't need to be spoiled. Like I said, I want you. I enjoy spending time with you."

I loved spending time with him, be it at the bar or when he visited me at the dance studio. Edward was so chill, and I needed that in my life right now. My thesis was starting to get to me, and it was crunch time.

"You know when I don't see you I miss you like crazy," he said, giving me a quick kiss.

Our waitress stood at our table with our food. She made a noise when Edward sat back, giving me a wink. _That's right, he's all mine, bitch._

"Look at you, getting all territorial, gorgeous," he grinned, cutting into his steak.

"She was drooling," I insisted lightly.

He responded with a chuckle as he stuffed his face. I learned this place had the best chicken parm ever! So good.

"Mid terms are this week?"

"Yeah," I groaned.

"You don't sound too happy about that."

"My brain is slowly being over worked," I sighed, finishing off my meal.

"You're the smartest girl I know."

"I don't know, Olivia might be the smartest girl I know," I teased.

"Ah Olivia, she's a brilliant little lady," he laughed. "She absolutely adores you, Bella."

"The feeling is mutual. I think Alice wants to keep her."

"Ma, told me you two took her to lunch the other day."

"Well, Miss Olivia is fabulous company," I shrugged.

Edward grinned, giving me a crooked smile. He waved our waitress over, asking for the check. She handed it to him, and he didn't even flinch when he handed over his card.

"Wanna go back to my place?"

"Yeah," I nodded, biting my lip.

After the waitress came back with his card, Edward signed and left her tip. He snatched my hand up, leading us out to the valet. On the ride back to Edward's place, he played with my fingers with the hand that wasn't on the wheel. This felt perfect.

His building was in a Southie neighborhood in Dorchester Heights, which was way different from my loft in Cambridge. He lived in a one bedroom; it was a little small, but it suited Edward. I loved that his walls were brick. His apartment was filled with shelves that contained books and music. Frames of band posters lined his hallway walls.

"Can I say that I'm really in love with your apartment?" I said in awe, looking around.

We stood in his hallway, and his arms wrapped around me. I felt his chin rest on my shoulder.

"I'm glad, I kind of hoped to see you here more," he murmured.

I don't think that will be a problem." I then turned around in his arms.

The way he was looking at me was enough for me to reach up and kiss him. Our lips met and began to move slowly. Edward backed me against the wall, pushing himself against me.

"Uh-oh our first date is going to end in a cliché," I breathed with a giggle.

"First date sex isn't a cliché, it's usually frowned upon. If we stop now, then it's a cliché." Edward moaned as I started to suck on his neck.

"Such a rebel on date rules."

"I don't believe in rules."

I felt him, hard for me. That made me want him even more. I moaned as Edward hoisted me up. I wrapped my legs around him. He began sucking on my lip as I ran my fingers through his hair.

Edward started peppering little kisses across my cheek, making his way to my ear. "So we're gonna do this?" He sucked my earlobe into his mouth, laving at it as I whimpered out. I pressed myself further into him.

The minute his gifted tongue collided with mine, I let out a throaty moan as his hands slid up my thighs, slipping under my dress, skirting right across my panties.

Edward set me down me carefully, causing me to whimper in protest. I instantly missed the warmth and closeness that his body had brought. He shot me a sexy grin before taking my hand and pulling me toward his room.

We stumbled and laughed our way to his bed. I was the first to lie down, pulling Edward on top of me with a frenzied kiss.

He pulled back slowly sliding my zipper down my back. I felt his fingers brush my skin, leaving a tingly path down my spine. I shimmied as Edward tugged my dress down my body, leaving me in my black lace bra and navy silk panties. Totally not matching, but it wasn't like I knew I was going to get laid tonight. It's not like he would notice anyway, right?

"Jesus, Bella," he groaned, swinging his leg over my hips so that he was positioned directly above where I needed him. So close, yet too many articles of clothing in the way.

His head dipped down to my bra-clad chest and kissed a line along the edge of the material, pausing right above where my nipple was hidden.

"This needs to go," he rasped roughly into my skin, the warmth of his breath and the vibrations of his voice went straight to my core.

In one easy movement, Edward unclasped the back of my bra, sliding the straps down my arms to reveal my nipples.

"Edward," I groaned out. "You're killing me with the build-up here."

He laughed as he bent down and kissed his way across my breasts, wasting no time before playfully biting my sensitive nipple. His hand snaked up my belly, lightly ghosting over my ribs. His long fingers plucked and twisted my other nipple, causing me to moan loudly.

"Do you like that, gorgeous?" Edward smirked at me as he pulled his mouth off me.

I could only nod.

"If you like that, just wait until you feel what I can do to you down here, gorgeous." Edward promised, before he kissed and licked his way down my belly, dipping his tongue into my navel as he passed.

Looking at him through my hazy lust, I noticed he had too many clothes on. I went for his sweater first, pulling it over his head, and then moved to unbutton his shirt. He started to help me as he fiddled with his belt.

When I finally got his shirt off, I stared at his chest with a desperate expression plastered on my face. His torso was every bit as muscular and defined as I had imagined.

I ran my hands from the waistband of his slacks to the back of his neck. I pulled him to me, and our tongues met again, battling for dominance of our heated kiss.

My body was acting of its own volition as my hips began to mercilessly buck against his, trying to create any friction I could get in an attempt to relieve myself of the severe ache between my legs.

My hands reached the edge of Edward's pants, intending to yank them off, at the same time that I noticed him tugging at my panties, too.

I lifted my hips slightly, allowing him to pull them off. Edward rolled off me, stripping his pants and boxers off, too, revealing himself to be a very big boy.

"Oh, God, she's gone into shock," Edward snickered as he rolled over on top of me, so we were now skin-to-skin.

I let out a squeal when his long fingers flicked my tender clit before traveling down further, teasing my swollen nub.

"You ready?" Edward breathed into my ear as he pulled away from our kisses.

"Fuck me." I moaned out as Edward thrust one talented finger inside of me, curling and twisting it to hit all of the right spots as he pumped it in and out at a steady rhythm.

"What was that?" He goaded as he kissed and sucked his way down my neck in a way that was sure to leave a few marks.

"Fuck me, now!" I shouted, earning me another finger.

"My pleasure." And with that, Edward pulled his fingers out and skillfully tore open a condom, slipping it on and thrusting inside of me in one swift motion.

"Jesus, Edward," I cried out. The feeling of all of Edward inside of me at one time was overwhelming and wonderful at the same time. But when he started moving, I almost came right then and there.

"Bella," he grunted out, his hands grabbing onto my hips, directing out movements and controlling our pace.

"Close…so close," I screamed out as he quickened our pace, slamming our skin together.

"Me too, gorgeous," he grunted, smashing into me one more time before we both came.

Because of Edward, I now questioned if I had ever had an orgasm before. It had never been like that with Emmett and definitely not with Jacob. My back arched off the mattress as I cried out Edward's name. I could hear him doing the same, calling out my name as we rode out our orgasms.

We collapsed in a heap of sweaty limbs, his now soft cock still inside of me. I burrowed my face into his neck, getting a few pecks in. His fingers combed through my hair lazily. After a few minutes of lying like that, he pulled out and moved me closer to his side.

"Isabella," he whispered, playing with my hair.

"Edward," I smiled, moving away to look down at him. "That was mind blowing, huh?"

"Excuse me? What did you say? My mind has been blown," he cheered, pulling me on top of him as I giggled.

We laid chest-to-chest, Edward's arms encircling me, his hand resting on the dip of my back. I'd peck his lips and pull away and he would reach up peck my lips, laying his head back. We went back and forth doing that until I announced I was tired.

For the first time in my life, I was spooned. I wasn't a cuddler. In fact, I used to be very vocal about not liking to do it. Edward, though, was definitely a cuddler. The way he held me, suddenly I fell in love with cuddling.

**A/N: Oh, these two… they're so freakin' cute! Okay so I've announced this on twitter, but I'm kind of putting this one on hiatus or at least will update when I can. LtW and BCRTYR will update their regular once a week. This chapter was beta'd by the amazing Dolphin62598 and lizconno! Between the both of them reading should be smoother!  
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	6. Chapter 6

**BPOV**

I felt his lips kiss my cheek. I shifted in his bed squinting my tired eyes up at him. This had been our Saturday morning thing over the past couple of weeks, ever since I'd learned that Edward and a couple of his buddies went out in the freezing Boston weather to play football.

I thought he was insane and at first tried to convince him to stay in bed with me, but he went on about how it was tradition with his boys. I knew I wasn't leaving the warm bed.

I looked him over seeing his usual sweatshirt, basketball shorts and Nikes. Not to mention his Pats hat flipped backwards on his head. He was so fucking cute.

"Sleep gorgeous, I was just stealing a kiss," he murmured, kissing my lips.

"I don't understand you, I mean you have this hot naked chick," I flashed him my boobs before covering back up with the sheet, "And you leave her for a group of dudes."

"Ha… I see what you did there and that was pure evil, sweetheart," he snorted. "But I'm not gonna bite."

"Your loss," I shrugged.

He reached over and pinched my nose with his knuckles. "Honk," he laughed.

I giggled at how ridiculous he was. A little more awake, I took in his appearance and noticed he was wearing a faded University of Southern California sweatshirt.

"Hmm, did you go there?" I asked, letting my hands brush his sides.

"For a bit," he nodded.

"You're not going to give me more than that, are you?" I frowned.

"Nah, that would take a lot longer than five minutes," he said standing. "You'll be here when I get back?"

"Maybe," I said nonchalantly. "I like to keep you on your toes."

"Ah, the element of surprise," he laughed, giving me one last kiss.

"Where do you play?" I asked curiously because his car never left its place on the curb.

"The park down the street," he answered. "Lata, gorgeous."

He walked out the front door and I snuggled further into the blanket and pillows surrounding me. I loved his bed; it was so much bigger than the one at my place and… I just loved his place. I felt safe and comfortable here. It made sense.

Since my thoughts of Edward wouldn't shut off, I decided I might as well get up. I got out of bed and the sudden chill of his apartment hitting my skin caused me to bolt toward his dresser. I grabbed his hoodie and boxers, slipping them on. Once I was dressed, I stumbled sleepily into the kitchen.

Edward was a saint; I truly believed he was because as I reached for the coffee pot I could smell the hazelnut blend I loved. He made me special coffee. It made me want to do a giddy teenage shriek.

My phone started buzzing from the living room. I had a text from Alice.

_I seemed to have misplaced my friend, maybe you can help me find her? ~A_

I scrolled for her number, calling her instead of texting something snarky back.

"She lives," Alice answered.

"You're hysterical," I said dryly.

"So I'm assuming Edward is detached from you?"

"He's playing football with his buddies," I sighed. "We're not always together."

"Bella, since you two started having sex, you fuck like bunnies," she said frankly. "Don't deny it either. I've witnessed how handsy you both are."

"We're not handsy," I defended, taking a sip of my coffee. "Mmm, so good."

"Ew, what are you doing?"

"Edward made me hazelnut coffee before he left."

"You love that shit," she responded. "I'm betting you two will be married within the next year."

I choked on my coffee, placing it on his coffee table so I didn't make a bigger mess. _Marriage? Really?_ Is that where this was going? And no one ever bet against Alice; she was always right.

"You're ridiculous," I sighed.

"Yeah, sure, ridiculous." I could hear the smirk in her voice. "Anyway, I'm calling to see if you and your beau would like to meet us for drinks tonight."

"Us?"

"You know the usual suspects," she replied. "Bella, everyone does miss you."

"Usual suspects means Em will be there."

"Oh, get over it. I know he has," she assured.

"I'll have to ask Edward."

"Of course. I need to get going. Love you, sweets," she sang. "And don't go trying to back out on me!"

She hung up before I could respond. Typical. I sipped my coffee, savoring its deliciousness. Edward was on my top people list for this fucking coffee. I tell ya. I should move off the couch, but even that was way too comfortable.

"If I married him at least all this furniture would be mine," I muttered to myself, finally getting my ass up.

I hurried to the shower ready to get my day started. I grabbed some underwear and a pair of jeans I'd left here. I stuck to wearing Edward's hoodie because it was comfy and smelled like him. I put my pea coat on, adjusting the hood on his hoodie and took his keys going on my way.

I really had no idea where I was going; I just knew he said down the street. He couldn't have walked that far because it was freezing and he had shorts on. That was my logic anyway. The cold temperature had me questioning why I left his cozy apartment.

I came up on a chain link fence and saw the outdoor playground with a few kids playing. This had to be it, so I walked further down until I spotted him hunched over ready to hike the ball. He must have been their quarterback.

He threw the ball to a guy with sandy blonde hair and a few of the guys started to go after him. Two of them landed in a pile, Edward jumped over them, sandy guy threw the ball back to Edward before being tackled and Edward ran back my way. He was beyond fast. Jesus Christ. He made it to the end of the field, spiking the ball and flipping the other team off with a cheeky grin.

"Fuckin' show off, Cullen," one of them yelled in a Southie accent.

"Ya just jealous fucker, cut back on the beers and maybe you'll be this fast someday," he taunted the man with a blonde ponytail.

I giggled at how Edward's hat was still on backwards, but to the side. He was wearing the cutest boyish grin and it made me think what our little boy would look like, if we had one. Damn Alice.

"Whoa, faget about Cullen, who is that angel," a man with dark curly hair and blue eyes called.

"Back off, Cheney. That's my angel," Edward glared running over to me, throwing me over his shoulder.

"Edward, put me down," I grumbled, trying to wiggle down.

"Not a chance," he teased before slapping my ass.

"That hurt," I pouted, smacking his ass back.

"You loved it," he chuckled.

His buddies came over laughing and grinning. I noticed Jasper off to the side quietly watching. He was dressed like Edward, but had sweatpants on instead of shorts. Edward turned around so I was facing his friends.

"Guys, this is my Bella," he crowed.

I rested on his shoulder and waved. Each of them threw me a wink except for Jasper who nodded.

"Can you put me down now? All the blood is rushing to my head and you're going to have an unconscious Bella on your hands," I warned.

"Fine," he sighed, gently placing me on my feet.

He smiled at me and gave me a sweet kiss.

"Mmm," I grinned against his lips.

"You came to watch me play, gorgeous?" he asked, flashing me a crooked grin.

"I was curious," I shrugged.

"Cullen, we're done," Sandy blonde smiled and clasped Edward's shoulder.

"Okay, Gar," he agreed, turning me so he could wrap his arms around me and rest his chin on my shoulder. "Meet my Bella."

"This fucker can't shut up about ya," he laughed, sticking his hand out. "I'm Garrett."

"Nice to meet you," I said politely.

"She's definitely not from here," he snorted.

"That's because she's not; she's a Harvard girl," Edward beamed proudly.

"Oh, a Harvard girl," he teased. "Why is she with yar ass?"

"Because she likes me."

"That is true. I do like him and he does like to spoil me," I added playfully.

"I spoil ya, huh?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow at me.

"Hazelnut coffee."

"So ya liked it?"

"No, I loved it," I moved slightly, kissing his cheek.

"As much as I love ta watch this mush fest, I got a wife ta get back ta or she'll have my balls. Pregnancy hormones," he snorted, shaking his head.

"Bring Katie ova one night we'll have dinna," Edward offered.

"Sounds good," he nodded. "Bella, a pleasure," he grinned, taking my hand to place a kiss on it before leaving us.

I turned in Edward's arms so I was facing him. "Aren't you cold?" I asked, rubbing my gloved hands on his cheeks.

"Nah, I got ya ta keep me warm," he said, kissing my nose.

I stared at him watching his green eyes dance mischievously. He leaned over nom'ing on my neck, causing me to squeal.

"God, you're beautiful," he said pulling away.

I felt my cheeks heat from his compliment. He was always complimenting me. 'I love you' wanted to slip out. I kissed him instead.

"Uh, hey," I heard from behind us.

I peek over my shoulder seeing Jasper shifting around nervously.

"Ya need a ride home?" Edward asked.

"Nah, Dad's picking me up," he replied.

"He not here yet?"

Jasper shrugged. "Bella I want ta thank ya for teachin' Liv how ta dance. Ma tells me how she's always dancin' around."

"She's a natural ballerina," I smiled. "I love teaching her."

"She's so freakin' cute in that tutu," Edward laughed.

"She is," I agreed with a giggle because Olivia was truly adorable.

"Yeah, she is," Jasper murmured reluctantly. "Well, I see Dad ova there, see ya guys lata."

"Hay," Edward threw his hands up. "I get a hug?"

Jasper nodded giving Edward a man hug, whispering what sounded like a thank you. Edward ruffled his hair, punching his shoulder lightly before wrapping his arm around me. Jasper jogged over to Carlisle's Mercedes and I noticed him rotate his arm a little.

"Is he okay?" I asked quietly, remembering what Edward said about Jasper's shoulder.

"He's supposed to go to physical therapy, but he's too stubborn."

I nodded, running my hand over his back. I didn't really try to touch on the Jasper issue. When I worked at the bar, I refused to serve him because he was always coming in drunk and being the daughter of a recovering alcoholic, I knew better than to enable him. If Jasper got belligerent, I would get Edward and if he wasn't there I was to call him so he could handle him.

"So I wanted to run something by you," I started, staring up at him.

"Go for it," he murmured, resting his forehead against mine.

"Alice invited us to go out tonight and she isn't taking no for an answer," I informed him.

"I'm down for that."

"Really?"

"If you'll be there I'll most definitely be there."

I bit my lip contemplating if I should mention that Emmett would most likely be there. After Edward's last encounter with Emmett, I could see the possessiveness roll off of him. I didn't want them hating each other for no reason.

"Are ya going back ta your place?"

"Am I?" I questioned, bumping my hip into his.

"I think I'm keepin' ya," he groaned picking me up, swinging me around.

When he set me down it was like this intense moment passed between us. Those three words that scared the shit out of me wanted to leave my mouth more than anything did. He cupped my cheek, leaned forward and kissed me tenderly. He was saying it without having to say it. _I love you._

**A/N: This is officially off of hiatus! Okay so this was kind of fluffy and the next few chapters will be and then the angst will hit…hard. As always let me know what you think.**

**This chapter was beta'd by the amazing Dolphin62598 and I also added someone new to the beta scene ****rainydays23. She was a great help for this chapter!**


	7. Chapter 7

**BPOV**

"Bell," Edward whined from somewhere behind me.

"What?" I called, going through my drawer I kept at his apartment.

"What do I wear?" he asked nervously.

I was standing in my bra and panties and when I turned around he was wearing only a towel and running his hand through his messy damp hair. The frown of worry on his face just about did me in.

"Are you really freaking out?" I asked dumbfounded.

"Yea," he answered gruffly.

I walked over to him and placed my hands on his chest. He instantly gripped my hips, looking down at me.

"What's wrong?" I asked softly.

"We're meeting ya friends and I just want ta fit in, ya know?" he shrugged, running his hands up and down my sides.

"You already know Alice and she loves you," I trailed off, remembering what Alice had said to me earlier. _I love you._

"I don't know ya otha friends… what if they see me and are like 'Look at this douche. He thinks he can hang with us, pfffftt'."

"Yeah, my friends definitely don't sound like that," I teased, reaching up on my tiptoes to give him a quick kiss.

"Ya think I'm bein' funny," he grumbled.

"No, but I do think you're being a little ridiculous. You're a confident guy Edward and everyone I've seen that interacts with you seems to like you. Alice is the only person I want to see, maybe Angela. She's pretty great," I added, cupping his stubbly cheek.

"How did I catch such a wicked smart girl?" he asked, capturing my lips with his. "Tryin' ta calm me down?"

"That's what I'm here for, to calm you down," I grinned, giving him one last peck before pulling away.

He walked over and sat on the edge of the bed watching me as I got dressed. I opted for tight figure hugging skinny jeans, a black tank top and a bulky gray wrap cardigan.

"Ya look fuckin' gorgeous," Edward commented as I finished.

"Thanks," I murmured shyly, feeling my cheeks heat. "Are you planning on wearing the towel? Not that I'm complaining, but I don't want other women checking out my man."

"Can't have that," he smirked, pulling me closer to him until I was between his legs.

"What should I wear?" he sighed.

I brought my arms up to rest on his shoulders as my fingers played with the hair at the nape of his neck. I thought shortly on what might work; I knew what was in his drawers and closet. He did have a few dressier choices, other than his bar clothes and hang out gear.

"I think I have an idea," I said, stepping away from him to the closet.

I grabbed a dark pair of his "nice" jeans and a white button down. He wrinkled his nose at me as I laid them out on the bed. I didn't grab briefs because I had recently learned that Edward went commando ninety percent of the time. The other ten percent he wore his briefs to church or his parent's house, something about having respect. I'm pretty sure he wore them this morning to his football game too.

"I'm wearin' that?" he questioned with a wave of his hand.

"Hey, you wanted me to dress you, right?" I pointed out, throwing my hands on my hips.

"That's how the other guys dress?" he frowned, his nose wrinkling again.

I shrugged.

He let out a breath and stood dropping his towel on the bed. I knew I let out a sigh because seeing him made want him inside me. No lie, Edward had pretty much turned me into a nymph.

"I know, gorgeous. I want ta too, but we can't have Alice bein' pissed at us fa bein' late," he grumbled, wiggling his pants up.

I pouted as he fastened himself in to his jeans and reached for his crisp shirt. Once he brought his arms through his sleeves, I grasped the edges of his shirt, buttoning it up for him. I took a step back and smiled.

"You look good," I commented, biting my lip.

He winked, smacking my ass as he moved past me to grab his boots. "What shoes are ya wearing or am I carryin' ya?"

"I guess heels?" I sniffed, not liking that idea at all.

"That sounded like a question," he snorted, sitting on the bed to slip his socks on.

"Alice will beat me if I don't wear heels," I rolled my eyes and took out the Loubs she got me for my birthday from his closet.

It sort of dawned on me that a lot of my stuff was at his place. I mean, I had quite the selection to wear tonight and I didn't have to go home. I thought I might need too, but everything I needed was here.

"You're perfect being shawt," he snickered, moving my hair over my shoulder.

"I'm not that short," I argued, using him to balance myself as I slipped each heel on.

"I'm almost a foot talla than ya," he grinned while palming my ass.

"Not with these babies on," I boasted proudly.

I was now eye level with his lips. Okay, I'm super fucking short. Edward shook his head with an amused look on his face, wrapping his arm around my waist. He led me out into the living room and helped me with my coat before putting on his.

"You own a coat?" I asked in faux-shock.

"Har, har, it's colder at night," he defended, snatching his car keys from the dish near the door. "Let's do this thang."

Alice's friend Lauren had connections to a new bar in Cambridge. Her father had just bought the bar and thought it would be an excellent place of business for the Harvard community. Alice and I used it to our advantage for free drinks. _Lau's _was one of the more raging establishments near campus.

Edward and I walked into the packed bar and I could tell this was going to be a pain in the ass already. I felt Edward's hand slip into the right back pocket of my jeans. I turned and gave him a look of amusement.

"What?" he laughed in my ear.

"You're such an ass man," I yelled over the crowd in his ear.

"Nah, it's just somethin' about yar ass, gorgeous," he grinned, kissing my nose.

I looked around the bar and tried to spot my group. I cringed, feeling the pain in my feet; between dancing and wearing these heels they were killing me. I tried sticking my foot out a little, digging my heel into the floor sort of rotating it.

"Bella, ya shouldn't have worn the damn shoes," Edward sighed, rubbing the hand in my pocket soothingly against my ass.

"I know," I whined.

I wrapped my arm around his waist leaning most of my weight on him. He let me do it without any complaint. I didn't want him to think I was some crying baby because my feet really were hurting.

"I'll carry ya if ya want," he offered sweetly.

"I need to sit down. If I didn't have this pinching pressure on my feet, I think I would be fine," I explained.

I glanced around the room again, spotting Alice waving at me from one of the round booths.

"They're over there," I pointed.

Edward nodded, helping me walk through the sea of people. This bar was filled with people who might have money, but also had real nasty drug problems. I could see the various social clicks gathering at the bar and around the tables. Edward was so nervous about fitting in, but he was so much better than the slugs here.

"Bella, you guys made it!" Alice called.

She ran over to hug us both and Edward chuckled at her drunken exuberance. "You two are so pretty together," she said wistfully.

"And you're drunk," I laughed.

"You will be too," she sang, grabbing my arm.

I noticed Lauren first; she sat giving me her usual look of distaste. Emmett was beside her, shifting awkwardly. I guess Alice didn't inform him I was going to be here. Angela had her boyfriend Ben with her as well, both waved and gave us a smile.

There were two guys and a girl I didn't know. Alice introduced them as Eric, Mike and Jessica. Edward helped me out of my coat before we slid into the booth next to Angela.

"Hey, girl," she grinned, tugging on one of my curls.

"Hey, yourself," I laughed, nudging her with me elbow.

The waitress distracted us by coming over to take our order.

"Can I get a Guinness and a Jack and Coke?" Edward asked, winking at me.

"That's for both of you?" I nodded in response, squeezing Edward's hand.

"So Edward," Alice began gaining his attention. "What did she offer you to leave your love nest?"

He shrugged. "All I'm saying is she's that persuasive," he grinned, kissing my neck.

Emmett let out an awkward cough, almost doing a spit take with his beer. His wide blue eyes met mine. Alice told me he had moved on and was dating a lot, but this was still uncomfortable, he could see it and I could see it. I had been with him a long time, almost a year, and he was really good to me.

The more I thought about it, I realized I had only ever slept with three guys, two of which were at this table. God, did that make me some kind of whore? Who willingly sits with their ex and current boyfriend? Bella Swan that's who.

" 'I love you' guy, doesn't like to hear how persuasive you can be," Edward whispered with a smirk.

"Edward," I hissed in warning.

The waitress set our drinks down and I was powering mine down. Alice announced that a round of shots was needed. I quickly agreed, leaning toward Angela.

"You're doing shots, yeah?" I asked hopefully.

Getting drunk with Alice and Angela sounded like the best option. Edward was trying to start something, I don't know what, but I saw the glare he shot Emmett and poor Em didn't even look upset at anyone. Lauren was hanging all over him and I felt bad for that. She had a nasty coke habit that her Daddy didn't know he funded. Emmett was practically a fucking boy scout; even I knew he wouldn't go for her.

"Is the sky blue?" she giggled.

"I like that answer," I laughed, grabbing the tequila shot Alice had just set down.

As I leaned over to reach my shot, Edward's hand rested on my ass as if he were helping to steady me. I looked over my shoulder at him and saw Jessica gawking at us. Em was staring as well, but quickly looked away.

_Fuck this._

I downed my shot without a chaser. I didn't really like dealing with Mr. Possessive at the moment. I sat back down, turning to Ang.

"How did you think you did on Bronson's final?" I asked.

We had the same Classics class and it was one of the main reasons we became such good friends. She was my rock in that class and I was hers. Between her flash card study system and my somewhat photographic memory, we made a pretty fucking solid study team.

"I think I can actually say I aced it," she answered. "Ben knows how hard we crammed for it. Right, sweetie?"

"As much as you two studied, if it was placed in front of me I'm sure I would kick its ass," he said, shaking his head.

I laughed because that would probably be true. He was forced to help us with questions when I came over to their apartment.

"Do you have any classes, man?" Ben asked, including Edward in our conversation.

"No… uh, I don't go here," he shifted.

I noticed when he said here his voice wasn't as rowdy like it usually was when we were at the bar or his apartment. I cocked my head at him.

"Oh," Ben dropped it. "How did you two meet?"

"Bella came into my uncle's bar," he said simply, taking a sip of his Guinness.

"By herself?" Angela asked slightly intrigued.

She had the cliffs notes of how Edward and I met. I knew she'd been dying to meet him for a while but none of our schedules fell in sync. He was acting not very Edward like and I didn't want her to get the impression that he was a jerk.

He glanced over to Emmett who was listening to our story. I saw the smirk rising, but as soon as he caught me eye he wiped it off his face.

"Yeah, she had a stressful day or something," he said vaguely as he squeezed my thigh. "I took one look at her and knew I had to get to know this girl."

"Aww, that's so sweet," Angela swooned, leaning closer to Ben.

"You're good, man," Ben chuckled.

Edward shrugged. taking another swig of his beer.

"So, you guys have known each other how long?" Lauren piped up.

"Since the end of September?" Edward asked, looking down at me for confirmation.

"Hmm, that's interesting," she sniffed. "Didn't you and Emmett break up in October?"

Emmett slid out the booth with a frown. Shit. Now he thinks I cheated on him. He hurried over to the bar.

"Lauren you're such a bitch," Alice spat.

"What? He wouldn't go out with me because he said he loved her," she said innocently. "Now we know she was shacking up with some townie."

I made to move across Edward to get out of the booth, but he wasn't budging.

"Move," I insisted.

"You're not going anywhere, gorgeous," he said frankly. "He's a big boy."

"I need to talk to him," I tried to move again, but Edward was like a wall in front of me.

"Jesus Christ, you gotta be shitin' me," he threw his hand up in disbelief.

"Oh, Mr. Boston finally decides to arrive," I mocked, giving him a good shove out of the booth.

The tequila was making me feisty and I was starting to feel a buzz. What little strength I did have made him finally move.

"Fuck, Bella," he hissed, kind of standing to lean against the side of the booth.

I waved my hand at him dismissively as I stumbled past. Since we'd been sitting I'd forgotten about wearing the shoes from Hell_. _With each step I took, I felt the pinch.I pushed past a group of guys that were surrounding Emmett. He wasn't talking to them, just blending into the crowd.

"I never cheated on you," I blurted out, almost falling because of the damn heels.

Emmett turned to steady me. He looked really contemplative, like he was trying to process what I'd just said.

"Was he the reason we broke up?" he sighed.

"No…" I trailed off.

He wasn't the reason, but he was a reason.

"Please don't lie to me, Bells," he frowned. "I really want you to be happy and if he makes you happy that's great, but all I want to know is if you were seeing this guy. I did put my heart out there for you."

Through the slight haze I was in, I grabbed Em's beer taking a gulp before I started with the truth.

"I met him the night you told me you loved me. I… I freaked out and I saw this bar so I went in. We talked, that's it," I explained.

"Did you go back after that night? I mean you're with him now," he grumbled.

"Saw him like one more time. I went back to the bar," I paused, trying to remember the first couple of meetings I had with Edward. "He listened," I said helplessly.

"You didn't love me." It wasn't a question.

"At the time, when you said it and I said it back… I thought maybe it was love and that I was just nervous that I was going to mess it up, but…"

"You met him," Em finished for me, giving me a sad smile.

"Edward is very different," I hesitated. "Christ, Em this is so weird talking about this with you and I don't want to hurt you."

"I told you the day we broke up I still wanted to be your friend Bella," he said. "I want that still; we don't need to be in a relationship to be friends. I care about you, Bells. I don't wish for any bad to come your way."

I felt my tears from his sweet words; this man was truly a teddy bear. He really was the best guy.

"I want us to be friends," I said earnestly.

"Then it's a done deal," he grinned his big dimply grin. "I don't think Edward likes me very much though."

"He needs to get over it," I huffed.

"I know you wouldn't cheat on me," he confessed sheepishly.

"Then why did you leave the table?"

"Did you not see how uncomfortable that whole exchange was?" he snorted. "Lauren's been tryin' to get in my pants since I got here and then she pulls that shit. I needed a moment of peace. You know I hate shitty drama."

"I'm sorry," I sighed.

"Don't worry about it," he smiled.

"You two get everything squared away?" Alice chirped, wrapping an arm around both of us.

"We're good?" he nodded.

"That's just peachy," she giggled.

I glanced over to our table, noticing Edward was gone.

"Where'd he go," I asked a little panicked.

"He said he needed a smoke," she informed.

"But he doesn't smoke," I scowled.

"Well he went outside."

"I'll be back," I declared, clomping away in my death traps.

When I finally made it to the door, the cold bitter of the night hit me. I wrapped my sweater tighter around me as I peered around for Edward. He was standing a little bit off to the side puffing on a cigarette near the side of the building. Keeping my arms around me, I walked over to him.

"Hey," I called.

His head whipped up and he was glaring at me.

"Fix things with 'I love ya' guy?" he asked gruffly. "Don't want to be messin' up things between you and your boyfriend."

"Well you are because you're acting like an asshole," I snapped.

"Ya're here with me and then ya run after him," he threw his hand up. "I wonder why I'm actin' like an asshole!"

"I wanted him to know the truth," I insisted, completely baffled by him. "Why are you acting like this?"

Edward threw his cigarette to the ground, stalking over to me until he had me against the wall. He crouched down so we were eye level and set his hands gently on my crossed arms.

"Maybe I wanna be 'I love ya' guy," he murmured, searching my eyes.

**A/N: All thoughts are welcomed! :D Plus I'm just saying this there might be a lot of foreshadowing the past… every chapter. Take that as you will. I want to thank my awesome betas Dolphin62598 and rainydays23 for all their help and suggestions.**


	8. Chapter 8

**BPOV**

"_Maybe I wanna be 'I love ya' guy," he murmured, searching my eyes._

"You love me?" I breathed, slightly awe stricken.

"I love ya, gorgeous," he confirmed. "I hate that Emmett had the fuckin' balls ta tell ya, Bella. I saw how freaked out you were that night and I don't think I could bear seein' ya reject me like that."

"We're me and you, Edward, not me and Em," I said gently, cupping his cheek. "I love you and I've only ever loved you."

"Jesus," he groaned, capturing my lips in the most loved filled kiss we'd ever shared.

It was sweet, tender, and heated. It was perfection.

Pulling back, Edward squinted at me licking his lips. "No take backs or regrets?"

"With you, never," I promised and kissed him again.

"Wanna go home?" I nodded, feeling absolutely giddy.

Edward backed away, giving me room to move before turning around. He crouched down looking at me over his shoulder. "Hop on, gorgeous."

"Are you serious?"

"I'm not gonna have ya livin' in agony because of those wicked fuckin' heels. Now hop on," he waved his hand, gesturing to his back.

I jumped on, wiggling my way up until Edward's hands were firmly secured under my thighs. He walked us back into the bar while the doorman stopped us.

"Man, she can't be riding you," he informed us.

"I'm not drunk, my girl's shoes are killin' her and I'm just puttin' an end to her sufferin'," Edward explained. "She's a fuckin' brilliant ballerina, guy. Her feet are important."

"You a dancer?" he asked me, somewhat impressed.

"Yeah," I smiled. "These shoes are hurting me. We're running back in to grab our coats so we can leave."

"Fine, but make it quick. The bar manager sees the lot of yous like that he'll have my ass."

"Thanks," we said in unison as Edward hurried back to our table.

Alice was sitting with Em while our original group was scattered amongst the bar. Em laughed heartily at something Alice said and she smirked, getting animated about whatever she was talking about.

"Asshole, decided to rejoin us?" she said to Edward. To me she added, "Why is he carrying you?"

"My feet are pissed at me for wearing the shoes," I explained, giving her a pointed look. "We're going to head out."

"Because of him?" Alice glared.

She was drunk and her obnoxious side was starting to show. I'm pretty sure I was sort of tipsy too and I could give as good as she gave.

"Alice, seriously," I scowled.

"Hay sprite, I'm sorry for before. I was an asshole, but Bella and I talked. I promise not ta act like that again," Edward said sheepishly as he squeezed the back of my thighs. "I want to apologize to you too, Emmett."

"I have no beef, man," Emmett shrugged with a smile.

That was Emmett; he never held a grudge.

"Why are you really leaving?"

Edward leaned down whispering something in her ear.

"Get out of here then don't let us stop you," she insisted, waving her hand around.

Emmett, I noticed, looked uncomfortable again. I sighed as Edward set me down and helped me with my coat.

"Call me tomorrow?" Alice asked, giving me a knowing look.

"Yeah," I smiled.

I winced when I felt the pinch build again in my left foot. My swaying also wasn't helping, maybe because the tequila finally decided to kick in or just kick my ass.

"And she's drunk, everyone," Edward sighed, scooping me up.

"Don't carry me," I whined.

"Ya get carried," he said frankly. "Ya will either fall from the shoes or the tequila so I'm puttin' a stop ta the inevitable."

I hid my face in his neck as he carried me to the car. I didn't want to see all the people staring and thinking about how big of a lush I was. Alice and I always made fun of those girls.

Edward put me in the passenger seat, kissing my head before shutting the door. I closed my eyes, feeling sleepy and before I knew we were home.

"Gorgeous, wake up," he whispered in my ear.

"I'm tired," I pouted, still keeping my eyes closed.

"Ya wake up and I promise ta make it worth yar while," he said in a low, gruff voice that was undeniably hot.

"Can I ride on your back again?" I asked, opening one eye.

"If I get ta see both those beautiful chocolate eyes," he bargained as I opened my other eye. "There ya are."

"Here I am," I murmured.

"I want ta get ya upstairs and I'm going ta worship ya," Edward promised, leaning in to kiss me.

"Help me out," I said against his lips.

He helped out of the car and let me hop on his back again. I really loved that Edward was quirky like that. What grown man honestly let his girlfriend do that? He was truly one of a kind. He fiddled with his keys before getting the right one into the lock.

Once we're in the door Edward, held me up with his right arm as his left took off my damn shoes. He carefully set me down.

"Betta?" he questioned, cupping my face.

"Much," I grinned.

"Yar shawt again," he snorted.

"Bummer," I frowned.

"I got a secret ta tell ya," Edward whispered, kissing my ear. "I love shawt girls. They're fuckin' hot."

"And you love me," I pointed out seriously.

"I do," he smirked.

To be totally honest, everything after that became very blurred. I woke up naked and Edward was too. I remembered _I love you_ being exchanged and for the first time in my life actually feeling loved by someone other than Charlie. Emmett cared for me, but Edward saying he loved me was a whole different level.

Waking up, I felt how handsy my boyfriend really was, something I would never complain about. His strong hand palmed my hip and another cupped my shoulder, pulling me back against his chest. I wiggled my ass against his already hard cock. I loved spooning with Edward, especially when there was evidence that other activities would commence.

He wound his arms around my body, cupping my breasts in his hands while he kissed the top of my head. I did a reverse arch, inching my ass closer to my favorite appendage of his. Before opening my eyes, I held both of his hands to me, encouraging them to work their magic on my breasts.

"Hmm," I moaned. "I love you."

He moved my hair over my shoulder so he could have complete access to my neck; it seemed to be one of his favorite places to nuzzle. He ran his nose along my skin, breathing me in. Since last night, every one of his moves was tender, as if he were trying to memorize everything about my body.

"I love ya too, gorgeous," he murmured.

I turned to face him, unable to resist lacing my fingers through his messy copper hair. Pure unadulterated sex hair.

He grinned, taking my bottom lip into his mouth as his arms snaked around me to cup my ass in his greedy hands. He sucked my lip gently for a few seconds before he released it and whispered against my mouth.

"Last night… this mornin'. I can't seem to get enough of ya, Bella."

I smiled as he claimed my mouth then, kissing me the way he did when he first told me he loved me and robbing me of the ability to breathe. Our tongues danced frantically until we both pulled away panting.

Edward slowed his pace as he began planting kisses all over my body, starting at my neck and making his way down my shoulder, then down one arm and up the other.

"Ed-ward," I moaned, drawing out his name.

His hands were stroking and caressing other places while his mouth was occupied in other ways. I loved it when he took time to kiss and suck. Moving to my feet, he began a slow climb up my right leg, kissing from my foot to my ankle and slowly sucking and nipping up my calf and then to my thigh until he was inches from my core.

"Yar feet still hurtin'," he whispered against my skin as he brought a hand up to knead my foot.

"I can't feel pain at the moment," I sighed blissfully.

He slid two fingers into my wet center, making me cry out. Leaving the fingers of his right hand there, he began a rhythmic in and out motion and continued with his mouth down the other leg.

"Edward, please," I begged, just wanting him inside me now.

I arched my back, writhing wildly.

"Babe," I panted, my head tossing from side to side as I squirmed.

He finally listened to my pleading as he quickly positioned himself at my entrance. I was still wet and worked up, so I was completely fine when he entered me in one swift stroke.

"God, I love yar body. The way it responds to me," he rasped, as he entered me. As he began slow and deep thrusts, I matched him stroke for stroke as we rode the waves of pleasure.

He raised his head to look at me, smiling as he studied my face. I couldn't help smiling back widely at him. He grinned even wider before taking my mouth again.

I giggled and caught his tongue, tangling it with mine until he relaxed in the kiss, careful to continue moving in me.

"Yar close, gorgeous. I can feel it," he groaned against my neck.

"You are too, cum with me, Edward," I whimpered.

He left me completely before diving right back in and that was that.

"Edward," I screamed, feeling my release.

"B-bbella..." he yelled, finding his own.

When we both came down from our euphoric haze, he squeezed my torso and collapsed on me.

"I can't move," he mumbled.

"Maybe you can move a little bit. It's getting hard to breathe, babe," I laughed breathlessly.

He shifted a bit, pulling me into his embrace with our arms and legs tangling together, panting softly until our breathing evened out.

"I love ya so much, gorgeous," he said, as he absentmindedly caressed my back with one hand and my ass with the other.

"I love you, too, Edward," I said, kissing his chin.

* * *

><p>"You brought the kid so we couldn't talk about last night," Alice glared at me as I walked over to the table with Olivia in my arms.<p>

Olivia hid her face in my hair, just having woken up from her nap on our drive here. She wasn't very happy with me for that. After the morning sexathon we had, Esme had called Edward asking if he could watch Olivia for a couple hours while she ran some errands. He agreed, but received a call from his uncle right after that needing him at the bar.

"I brought her because I like having her with me," I shrugged, propping my sunglasses on top of my head. "And Edward had to fill stock orders at the bar."

Alice's face grew into a grin as she stared at me. "Seems like Eddie boy went through with his plan," she snickered.

"What?" I sighed, adjusting Liv in my lap.

"The look in your eyes screams freshly f-u-c-k-e-d," she said smugly.

I shook my head at how frank she was. Nothing about Alice was secret; everything was out in the open or nothing at all.

"He told me he loved me," I said quietly.

"Oh my, you mean to tell me he said 'I love you' and you're looking like that," she scoffed in shock, earning a glare from me.

"I love him too," I admitted.

Olivia turned in my lap placing her little hand on my cheek, looking up at me with her big blue eyes. "I love you, Bella," she said before turning back around to Alice. "I love you, Ali."

"Well I love you this…" Alice grinned, stretching her arms out, "much Miss Olivia."

Olivia leaned forward a bit, reaching out to Alice. I smiled as I let Alice have her. Alice taught children dance, but that was about it. She really didn't have much patience, but with Olivia she was strangely maternal.

"I'm way better than Aunt Bella," she teased, kissing the little girl's curls.

"Aunt Bella," Olivia giggled.

"Alice," I groaned.

"Relax, that is your role. Trust me I just know these things," she soothed, patting my hand.

"I…last night was huge for me and I don't want him thinking I've jumped a thousand steps," I explained.

"So on a scaled of one to ten how was the I-L-Y…S-E-X?" she asked, waggling her perfectly arched eyebrows.

I blushed, thinking about how good this morning was because it was still so fresh in my mind. Edward was such an intensely passionate man and I felt everything he was willing to give me.

"Definitely a ten," I breathed out.

"Duh, I mean look at him. He looks like he knows what to do," she teased. "You know I'm very happy for you."

"Thanks, but to be truly honest I never would have thought I could be so happy. He is really good to me and he just loves so unconditionally," I murmured.

"Good because that is exactly what you deserve," she said, seriously squeezing my hand before the waitress came for our order.

As we ate, I helped Olivia and thought about the future, or rather what the future could be now that I was truly happy. Graduating, being with Edward, possibly marrying him and being an aunt to the little girl on my lap, and having my own babies with him. None of it scared me because Edward made me want those things.

**A/N: Happy Holidays to everyone! Sorry this is a little late I've been soooo busy. I can't wait to hear from all of you! Big thanks to Dolphin62598 and rainydays23 for betaing!**


	9. Chapter 9

**BPOV**

I ran my fingers through Edward's hair as I read my book. I looked down at him, catching him staring at me.

"Yes?"

"Nothin', it's just nice to lay here like this," he murmured, turning his head to nip at my thigh.

"Yeah, having no class for once is great," I replied.

Christmas break started two days ago and it was very much welcomed. The only thing I had going on was the Christmas dance recital Alice and I had been working on. That was a piece of cake and my class looked so freaking cute in their costumes. They were angels, literally. Alice had this idea for me to choreograph a dance to Silent Night and the girls would be the glittery Christmas Angels.

Dad had wanted me to come home, but with the recital and Edward, I really didn't want to. It would be just me and Charlie eating Christmas dinner in front of the TV and I knew he wouldn't be around much. He usually worked all the time, not to mention Jake and Billy hung around the house most of the time.

Besides, every time I saw Jake it was too awkward. When I ended things with him he wasn't as nice as Emmett had been. He accused me of cheating and when I said I'd been nothing but faithful to him, he lashed out, saying I was a heartless stuck up bitch, just like my Mom. So to say we didn't talk…ever… would be pretty accurate.

Thinking back, I didn't really remember any of the Christmas's we'd had before Mom left. I kind of remembered sitting with Dad in the balcony of a beautiful theater every year. I asked him one time about it and he told me she would dance in the Nutcracker. She was the lead of course. Those few hours in a dark theater were the only connection between my mother and Christmas, through no fault but her own.

My phone started vibrating on the bedside table, pulling me out of my thoughts. It was close to two a.m. Who would be calling me now?

_Dad_

My heart started hammering in my chest. Edward sat up, looking concerned. I was positive he could see my anxiety building.

"Bella?"

"It's my Dad," I choked out, answering my phone.

"Hello?"

"Isabella Marie Swan, where the hell are you?" Dad asked in an angrily panicked tone.

"Dad?"

"Answer me," he demanded.

"I'm at Edward's?" It came out as a question in my state of complete confusion.

"Edward? Who the hell is Edward?" he asked irritated.

"My boyfriend?" It came out as a question again as I looked at Edward, who was cocking his brow at me.

"I fly all the way out here to see my daughter so she wouldn't be left alone for Christmas and imagine my surprise when I arrive at her apartment to find she's not there. So I go back to my hotel figuring she had dance or something and wait. I manage to fall asleep, but when I wake up, I call her and she doesn't answer. I go to her building and it's a little after midnight but her landlord is up and sees me in front of the building. He invites me in, telling me he barely sees her around any more. He sees her with some tall guy that runs Harper's Pub all the time. He figured since her lease is almost up, she probably won't be renewing it. He gets the rent check from her so he doesn't question it."

"Dad," I finally say quietly.

By now, Edward has me pulled onto his lap. I'm trying to keep it together because my dad came to surprise me in Boston for Christmas and I just gave him the scare of his life. I'm obviously a terrible daughter.

"Are you safe?" he asked, heaving a sigh.

"What?"

"It's two a.m. Are you safe? You said you were at your boyfriend's?"

"Yeah."

"You didn't even tell me you broke up with Emmett, Bella."

"I'm sorry. There's been a lot going on," I finished lamely.

"I'll tell you what. I'm going back to the hotel to get some sleep. Call me when you get home and we can go get breakfast," Dad offered, but by his tone it was more like he was telling me.

"Okay, Dad."

"And Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"You're bringing the boyfriend," Charlie said before hanging up.

I stared at my phone, trying to figure out what the hell just happened, when Edward cupped my face turning it towards him.

"Yar pale, gorgeous," he murmured as his thumb stroked the apple of my cheek.

"My Dad is in Boston," I informed him quietly.

"That's a good thin', right?" he asked, completely baffled by my reaction.

"It would be wonderful, if he wasn't pissed at me right now," I mumbled.

"Why is he pissed at ya?" he asked gently.

"He showed up at my place and I wasn't there…he went back to his hotel and then came back again around midnight and I still wasn't there," I sighed realizing just how much I had scared him.

"Am I missin' somethin' here? Cause shouldn't ya have known yar old man was gonna show up?"

"I've been busy," I peeked up at Edward guiltily. "Can't I need you?"

"Bella?"

I snuggled further into him, trying to figure out where I should start. This wasn't just about upsetting Dad tonight. Ever since Mom left, I tried to make my father's life as easy as possible. Even through the dark times, I worked so hard to take the load off his shoulders. Whether it was cleaning my room, making dinner, or doing my homework; I did it all without any complaints. Mom might as well have stabbed a knife in his heart the day she left.

"My dad was worried. He's allowed to be upset with me," I said flatly.

Edward's hands cupped my face to bring my head up so we were eye to eye.

"Baby, I'm here," he said, pecking my lips. "Now talk ta me."

"You kind of know I've been in dance since I was Olivia's age," he nodded. "Well, my Mom made me start lessons almost as soon as I started walking. I've told you she was a Principle Ballerina with the Seattle Ballet Company. When I was seven, she was offered a spot in New York… she's didn't even hesitate, Edward. She was a wife and a mother, but… I remember coming home from school and my dad was sitting in a chair in the living room of our apartment, a bottle in his hand…he looked at me or it was more like he looked through me. All he said was that she was gone. Three years… my dad basically checked out for three years. He'd go to work and drink his nights away. Billy, my dad's partner on the force, would pick me up some nights and I would stay with his family. Sarah was the closest thing to a Mom that I had.

I felt the tears slide down my face. There were times during my day that the past would pop up. I remembered Dad telling Billy he couldn't look at me. I looked too much like Renee. Dad wanted to pull me out of dance, even though he loved ballet. Why wouldn't he cut ties with the life that took away his wife? So much hurt happened in just three years until Billy really intervened, threatening to have me taken out of Charlie's custody. That's all it took for him to wake up.

"I love ya," Edward whispered, squeezing me tightly to him. "Ya coulda told me."

"I don't like to think about it. My dad started going to outpatient rehab and AA when I was ten. We moved to Forks, this small town right outside of Seattle, to start over. Ever since then I've been real close to my dad."

"And he's still soba?"

"For the past twelve years," I stated proudly.

"That's great Bella," he smiled, giving me another squeeze. "My mother… my birth mother wasn't so lucky with meetin's and treatment, so when I hear success stories, it's just good ta hear."

"She was in AA?"

"Narcotics Anonymous."

"Oh."

"I'm grateful for many things in my life, Bella. When I was a kid, thin's were shitty… after my mom was busted for possession and hookin', I was so scared. A nine year old shouldn't be raisin' two kids under the age of six. That first night CPS took us out of there, I could only think how much worse everything would get. Christ, Rose was Olivia's age when it all happened; she has no recollection of any of it. What I wouldn't give to forget… but then Esme, showed up to have lunch with Carlisle's sister, who was our case worker, and it was a done deal."

"So that was it? She got you guys out of the group home?"

"She saved our lives, that's what she did," he grinned. "Liz, our mom, was being a total bitch about signing over her parental rights. Our adoption didn't go through until four years later. The judge asked me plain and simple where I wanted ta live in front of Liz and the Cullen's. I told him my Ma and Pops were Carlisle and Esme. Jasper said the same thing and Rose was like seven or something and I remember her tellin' him, _'Your highness, my Mommy is sitting with my Daddy'. _ She was so confused as ta why she was even there. Liz kinda didn't have anythin' good ta go on either. She had too many probation violations and other charges. Sobriety is a tricky thing when yar that far gone."

"I'm sorry you had to go through that," I murmured, cupping his face.

"I'm not, I wouldn't change a thing. It was character building."

"How do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Be that optimistic?"

"Bella, I see what drugs can do to people and I see Jasper struggle on a daily basis. He's a lot like our mother in those ways."

"Have you seen her? You know since?" I asked, snuggling further into him.

"No, but a couple years ago I read her obituary in the paper. She was survived by her husband and two children, Tori and Jamie."

"Was it drugs or…" I asked, trailing off awkwardly.

"Lung cancer. She was a chimney from what I remember," he mused.

He seemed very comfortable talking about all of this, but this was of course was Edward. I really couldn't see him holding a grudge or hating anyone.

"Oh."

"I'm not gonna a lie and tell you I didn't feel anything. The only person I had to talk to about it was Ma. Jasper was overseas and Rosie was just starting high school. She never told anyone she was adopted ya know. She was Esme and Carlisle's daughter. Pops tried talkin' to her bout it, but Rosie said she didn't care," he sighed, shaking his head. "Always was a tough girl, it's in her blood or sumptin'."

"So you talked to Esme?"

"Yeah, we went to the service to pay our respects. Benjamin was her husband's name and he knew who I was as soon as I stepped into the room. Said I looked like his Jamie. He told me he owned a diner across town. That's how they met, she worked for him and he fell in love with her. She went to meetings and was eight years sober. I was surprised that she had turned it around like that, but I guess she was still young enough to change… to become a better person. I looked at the kids… my kid brotha and sista. They were so sad Liz was gone. I couldn't quite get why I didn't feel how they did. Me and Rosie just had this whateva moment when it came to her."

"Was that the last time you saw them?"

"Yeah, Benjamin sends me pictures and stuff. Esme gave him the house address. I didn't understand right away why she did it, but when we got in the car she told me just like Rosie and Jazz are my blood, those little kids were too and they just went through one of the most horrible times of their lives."

"I love Esme," I blurted out, because she was one of the most honorable women I had ever met and each time I saw her I felt like she cared about me just as much as one of her kids.

"Ya know she loves ya too, right?" he asked, kissing my cheek.

I nodded, shifting off his lap a little so I could lie down. Edward followed suit, stretching out next to me as he wrapped his body around my small frame.

"What about you? Have you seen your Mom since she left?"

"When I was fourteen she tried to fight Charlie for visitation. It was completely random, because school had just ended and my dad received papers from her lawyer. Her name was Renee Dryer, so we knew she remarried. I mean, who leaves their child for seven years and then all the sudden wants them back? Dad didn't want me knowing all the legal stuff he had to deal with, but the lawyer advised him to let me visit and we would go from there," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Didn't go well, I assume?"

"I got to New York and had a driver waiting for me. It was my first time on a plane and I had a total stranger picking me up. I refused to go with the guy and went to the desk to call my dad and about an hour later the driver and my very pissed off mother showed up," I cringed just thinking about how Renee grabbed my arm, dragging me out to the car.

"So she was pissed at you for bein' smart?" Edward asked incredulously.

"Basically. I knew then that I never wanted to go back and stay with her. I think she expected me to be like her or at least she figured that since I was older, I would be into the same things as her," I frowned. "She said I had a dancer's body and then asked if I still danced. I lied and told her no."

"Why?"

"I thought if she saw that I wasn't like her or that we had nothing in common, then she wouldn't want me. I wanted her to stay out of my life," I replied simply.

There were a lot of things from that week I remembered, but the one that stuck with me most was the phone conversation I overheard Renee having with my dad.

"_You made sure to turn her against me," she seethed while pacing Phil's office._

"_Renee, you left us. I didn't need to do anything to turn Bells against you," Dad replied dryly through the speakerphone._

"_So you didn't take Isabella out of dance?" she snapped._

"_Did Bella tell you she doesn't dance?"_

"_Yes."_

_Dad was quiet for a minute._

"_I'm booking Bella's flight. I want her home," he said flatly._

"_She's my daughter too and I have a say," Renee's voice thundered._

"_If you really want to fight me on this Renee, then go ahead, but I know for a fact that any family court judge will want to know what Bella wants. I will always be her choice. And I received the paperwork for the performing arts school in New York. If you think for a minute I'm sending my kid halfway across the country to do something that will make her miserable, you have another thing coming."_

"_Charlie, Isabella has a natural talent for ballet and my company is looking for a performer her age…"_

"_You really are selfish," Dad cut her off. "You left her when she was seven and now you want to use her for your professional gain? I'm booking the next available flight for my daughter. If she isn't on it, I will show up to your home and bring her back."_

"Did she send ya back or what?" Edward asked.

"Oh she did and I told my Dad I never wanted to go back."

"That is it? Done deal?"

"Done deal," I nodded.

A yawn escaped my mouth and Edward cupped my face.

"Bedtime, gorgeous," he smiled, kissing my lips.

I glanced at the clock on his side, seeing that almost an hour had passed. Despite all the talking we had done, I still didn't get to tell him the other reason Charlie was pissed.

"I have to meet my dad in the morning," I mumbled tiredly. "You too."

"Ah, sleepy girl says what?" Edward chuckled.

"My dad said I have to bring you too," I sighed, closing my eyes.

**A/N: I just had to break this into two chapters. I'm thinking angst will hit in three or four chapters so you've been warned. There is a chapter I'm trying to decide where I should place it. A before or after kind of thing, I guess one would say. Hmm… Share your thoughts. This was beta'd by the greats! Dolphin62598 and rainydays23!**


	10. Chapter 10

**BPOV**

"I'm gonna burn these shirts," Edward mumbled as we walked to my apartment. We were meeting Charlie at my place before heading out for breakfast.

He just had to wear a button down and I practically had to force him into his puffer jacket. There was a lot of frowning and muttering involved, but as I explained, it was freezing out.

The whole forcing him into a coat thing was for his benefit. I didn't want him getting sick because I had an idea he would be a force to be reckoned with when he didn't feel good.

"Stop," I laughed, squeezing his hand. "I told you a t-shirt and jeans would be fine."

"I'm no bum," he muttered.

"And I never said you were," I sighed, stopping as I tugged him to face me. "I love you."

He stared down at me, searching my eyes before capturing my lips with his. "I love ya, ya gorgeous girl," he groaned against my mouth.

"Are you better now?" I asked, pulling away.

"Much," he smirked.

A throat cleared behind us as we parted. "Uh, Bells?"

I turned to see Charlie scratching the back of his neck. His signature mustache was drawn down in a frown. He looked almost the same as the last time I saw him, though he looked a little bit fuller. Not fat, just more muscle I guess, which was very weird. Charlie never stepped foot in a gym before.

"Hey Dad," I smiled, hugging him quickly.

I saw Edward shift by my side.

"And this must be?" Dad asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Edward," he said and stuck his hand out.

"Nice to meet you or better yet, hear of you," Charlie added dryly, shaking his hand. "Seeing as though a couple months ago she was with someone else."

I glared at my dad, hating the look of doubt he put on Edward's face. I told him this morning about our breakfast with Charlie. Or more so Edward poked me until I was awake saying I shouldn't babble important things on the verge of sleep.

"We should go eat," I announced, scooping Edward's hand in mine.

"Yeah," he agreed and stared at the ground.

"Where we going?" Dad asked, walking with us at my other side.

"The diner down the block. It reminds me of Waylon's so I thought you would love it," I grinned knowing Dad was simple when it came to pleasing him. It was always better to stick with something familiar when Charlie was concerned.

"Good choice, kid," he nodded in approval.

The relatively short walk from my apartment to the diner was quiet. Edward played with my fingers and Dad kept stealing glances at him. Dad knew when I dated someone it was always a relationship. I never really was a casual dater. He loved Jacob and liked what he saw of Emmett, but with Edward he was acting more dismissive than usual for a first time meeting. It was so unlike Charlie to be so disapproving before really getting to know someone and it was throwing me off.

"So Edward, you go to school here?" Charlie asked after we were seated.

"No sir, I uh went to the University of Southern California," he informed cautiously, glancing up from his menu.

"You already graduated?"

"I got a bachelors in business from the Marshall School of Business," he shrugged like it was nothing.

It definitely wasn't nothing because not once had we discussed Edward and college. I knew a lot about him, but that was news to me. I mean, he wore his USC hoodie, but other than the day I asked him and he told me pretty much he didn't want to talk about it then, it hadn't been brought up since.

"That's great," Charlie smiled.

Charlie was all about education. When I got into Harvard I wasn't even sure I was going to go, but my Dad told me he would see to it that I would go worry free. I won a few state scholarships and grants, which is why I was here now.

"What is it you do?"

"I manage my uncle's bar," Edward said nonchalantly.

"You earned a business degree and you run a bar?"

"I also got into Boston College's Economics Master's program. I can send ya my transcripts and GRE scores if ya like, Chief Swan," he finished, tilting his head to the side. "What are the pre-requisites fa dating Isabella? I'm curious."

I was gaping. Edward so totally said that to Charlie and never in my life had I heard anyone other than Billy talk to him like that.

"But you don't have your masters," Charlie stated, unfazed by Edward's frankness.

"No, I came home ta help out with my niece. My brotha was servin' his country when she was born and her first few years of life. My ma didn't say they needed help, but I wanted ta be here fa my family," he said simply.

"Is your brother still serving?"

"He was shot and discharged."

"I'm just trying to understand, you gave up your life… your future for your brother."

"Dad," I hissed.

"With all do respect Chief Swan, I could write a fuckin' book fa you about my life and ya could dissect every fine detail… that's all fine and dandy, but I'm not askin' or lookin' fa permission from you to be with Isabella. This woman… yar daughter is what makes my fuckin' heart beat. I can guarantee you this, I might just manage a bar and look like a bum, but Isabella will never want for anything in her lifetime. She wants the world I'll give her the world," he shrugged, wrapping his arm around my shoulder.

"That's a pretty big declaration," Charlie said, raising an eyebrow. "How are you going to feel when she gets a job offer after she graduates? It wasn't Bella's plan to stay here you know. I'm sorry Edward if I'm coming off as a jerk, but I only want what's best for my daughter."

Edward sat glaring and I was stuck speechless. Charlie Swan was never out of line until this moment.

"Ya know what? I don't need to sit here and take this," Edward snapped, sliding out of the booth. "I'll talk ta ya, gorgeous," he murmured, leaning down to kiss my head.

He was out the door before I could even protest. I sat there just blinking at my father, the always kind and never rude Chief Charles Swan. The fine people of Forks wouldn't believe it if they were here to see it themselves.

"Mind telling me what that was all about?" I asked, finally finding my voice.

"He gave up his own life for his family. What makes you think he'll sacrifice for you?" he said bluntly.

"Okay, we need to rewind. You are not acting like my dad. I have not once seen you treat someone like that. Edward is a good man and he loves me. I know it might seem like just words, but I can feel his love for me," I sighed.

"And that's why I was so harsh. I don't want you making the same mistakes I did, kid. I loved your mother when we first met and she gave me the greatest thing in my life," he gave me a pointed look. "But Edward looks at you the way I used to look at her…"

"Are you saying I'm like Renee?"

If all the air could leave my lungs, I was sure it would feel like this. My father just metaphorically gutted me. Maybe that's why I'm so fucked up. I kept both Jake and Emmett at arms length because I couldn't love or so I thought. Then, I fly in feet first with Edward. What if I loved him now and then somewhere down the road I ran?

"I didn't say that," he said, grabbing my hand. "Your mother didn't want a family and she left. She only came back for you because she thought she could use you for her legacy. You would never do that to anyone. You have an amazing heart, Bells."

Again, I blinked at him.

"I love Edward, dad. Before when I was with Emmett… I wasn't a whole person. I met Edward and he's so supportive of everything I do."

"But what are you going to do when you graduate?"

"I know the plan was for me to come home and maybe look for a job in Seattle, but I don't think I could leave even if I tried."

"What if you change your mind? What if he changes his?"

"I'm an adult now, dad. I need to live my life, make my own decisions," I murmured, squeezing his hand that was still on top of mine.

"What happened with Emmett?"

"We decided to stay friends," I answered honestly but added, "You're going to have to apologize to Edward. He's not going anywhere."

"He seems very…proud," Charlie mused.

I smiled because that is the best word to describe him. Edward was also very loyal and family oriented. That was one of the reasons I loved him so much. He gave me a sense of family. I felt like I was his family and he was mine. For the first time in my life, I felt like I belonged.

"He is," I nodded. "I'm honestly surprised with you."

"Me?" Dad said incredulously.

"You were judgmental and rude to him and you just met," I snapped.

Charlie sat quietly looking embarrassed. The waitress came by with our drinks and it was awkward to tell her Edward left.

"You were going to have Christmas with his family." It wasn't a question.

"We're going to have Christmas with his family," I corrected.

Dad nodded, clearly not wanting to argue with me. He wanted a happy Bells, not a disappointed one. We talked more about the changes in our lives. He was seeing someone, but wouldn't say who. I gathered it was someone I knew if he was being this hush, hush about it. I told him about my class workload and how glad I was to almost be done.

We left the diner not too long after that and Dad said he was going to head back to his hotel for a while. I agreed because as much as I wanted to hang out with him, we had rehearsal for the recital and I also wanted to get back to Edward's.

A half hour later, I was unlocking the door to his apartment. He was sprawled out on the couch watching ESPN, wearing only his basketball shorts.

"Hi," I said meekly, slipping my coat off.

"Yar dad hates me," he mumbled, refusing to look anywhere but the TV.

"No, I wouldn't say that."

"Really? Because his tryin' to belittle me was so welcomin'," he snorted.

I toed my shoes off by the door and made my way over to my boyfriend. I sat down on the edge of the couch, leaning on his propped up leg.

"I love you," I whispered.

"Ya know I love ya, too," he smiled slightly, finally looking up at me.

I moved so I could cuddle into him and he shifted so his back was against the couch.

"I'm not making any excuses for my dad because how he treated you was wrong, but he even said the way we look at each other… he sees how much you love me and I think that scared him," I explained.

"Our love scares him," he snorted again.

"He sees how serious we are…"

"Point blank, it's simple Bella. I'm gonna marry ya someday. I'm so sure of that," he said, cutting me off.

"That's what scares him because now he realizes that I won't be coming home. Before, with Emmett, my dad could see we were dating and it wasn't serious. I always had this plan after going to school here I would move back and try to find a job in Seattle."

"Yar dad sees me as a threat," he said in understanding.

"Exactly."

Edward's hand came up cupping my cheek and he leaned in, kissing me slowly. I responded by deepening the kiss.

"Seattle's not an option now?" he asked softly.

"I think you're stuck with me," I giggled.

"Not complain' about that at all."

If only things could remain this easy. No one knew when their life would change, but I already knew this.

**A/N: My Valentines gift to you all, even though I hate the holiday… This was super late because Charlie was giving me issues and I re-wrote him, like three times. Anyway leave me your thoughts. I have been really bad to responding to reviews, but trust me I read every single one of them! Like always huge thanks to Dolphin62598 and rainydays23 for beta'ing they're the best! **


	11. Chapter 11

**BPOV**

I grinned as my four little ballerinas ran off the stage straight to me and I couldn't have been more proud. My group had been the first to go in the rehearsal line-up and they were absolutely adorable.

"Aunt Bella," Olivia squealed, running to me. I could hear the laughs from the audience. They obviously could hear my overly excited group. I snatched Edward's niece up in my arms and held her close before shifting her over on my hip a little bit, reaching down so I could hug the other girls.

"Miss Bella, I jumped as high as you teached me," Bree said excitedly.

"I saw," I smiled, running my hand over the back of her head.

"I was the best," Jane huffed as she moved her little body around us.

I rolled my eyes at the mini diva.

Once the girls calmed down a bit, Alice ushered them back to their parents while I watched the rest of the recital with Olivia back stage. She cuddled closer to me, hiding her face in my neck. The advantage of hiding back stage was I could see my dad and the Cullen's in the front row. Dad seemed to get over whatever his problem with Edward was quickly; the past few days he was actually making an effort.

Edward though, was a different story. My guy was as stubborn as can be. Charlie would ask a question and Edward would grunt an answer. He wasn't there to impress anyone but me, those were his words not mine.

"My Daddy is sitting with Mimi," Olivia whispered in my ear.

"He is," I smiled, glancing out again to see Jasper shift uncomfortably next to his mother.

"He see'd me dance." I could feel her smile against my neck.

"My daddy came to watch me dance too," I told her.

"I see'd him next to Uncle Eddie," she pointed with a smile.

Charlie noticed us from behind the curtain and winked, causing Livy to giggle. As soon as Charlie met the Cullen's, especially Olivia, he understood why Edward made the choices he did and respected him for it. It was also what led to my dad apologizing and Edward grudgingly accepting it.

I felt his arms wrap around us and sighed, not even realizing he left his seat. I turned my head slightly, kissing his neck because that's all I could reach.

"What's up, shawty?" Edward flashed my favorite crooked grin.

"You're so funny, huh?" I said, biting my lip.

"Funniest guy ya know, gorgeous," he smirked smugly.

"Uncle Eddie," Liv wiggled in my arms, trying to reach him.

He scooped her out of my arms and placed a kiss on her cheek. I loved to watch him with her. He was so gentle and loving, I could only wonder what he would be like if we had a child. My future with Edward and what it would be like often took over my thoughts.

Graduation was approaching quickly and a lot had changed for me. Staying here rather than moving back to Forks was the biggest change for me, I thought. Edward had changed everything for me and I'd never been happier about that.

"You were so awesome," he murmured to her as he squeezed her cheeks.

"Did Daddy think I was awesome?"

"Yar Daddy always thinks yar awesome," he said, tugging on her nose between his knuckles.

She smiled, hiding her face in his neck. In Olivia's world, Uncle Eddie made everything better. Esme said she noticed a difference in her lately though. Olivia wanted Jasper around more and she had been clingy with him the last few times he had been at his parent's house. We didn't know if it was because she heard the girls in my class talk about their daddies and she put it together that a daddy was important or if she watched Rose with Carlisle.

Thinking of Rosalie, I glanced back out to the audience. She looked like a younger version of Esme, more so when she dressed like her. She was wearing a red wrap dress with a black cardigan, her blonde hair hanging down her back in soft waves. Gone was the tight clothes, overly teased hair, and heavy makeup.

"When do ya think we'll see Aunt Bella dance?" Edward murmured to Liv. As soon as she started calling me Aunt Bella he did nothing but encourage it.

I shook my head when I felt his hand on my ass under my tutu with his free hand. Thank God, Liv couldn't see it. I didn't want to scar the poor child.

"Hmm, I want a kiss," he whispered in my ear, squeezing my ass.

I leaned up on my toes in my pointes, giving him a chaste kiss before lightly covering his lips with my fingertips. We needed to keep it PG in front of the kiddo.

"That wasn't a good kiss," he grumbled.

I giggled, which caused Olivia to join me. Alice hurried over to us, tugging on my arm.

"Who the fuck is the hottie in the front row?" she rushed, whispering in my ear.

"Who?" I asked, looking back out the curtain.

"Blonde dude next to Edward's mother!" she all but shrieked.

"My brotha," Edward chimed in, sticking his head between us.

Alice whipped around, staring at him in awe or reverence. I wasn't sure if she looked so dreamy because of Jasper or what.

"How many brothers do you have?" she questioned, knowing Olivia belonged to a brother of his.

"Just the one," he shrugged.

"Give me the kid," she ordered as she gestured to Liv in his arms.

Edward didn't really have a chance against Alice because Olivia was reaching for her. She loved her Ali maybe just as much as the rest of her family. We watched them exit out the side stage door into the audience.

"Jazz is on edge tonight. She's gonna make him shit his pants," he chuckled, wrapping his arms around me with his chin resting on my shoulder.

"He hasn't had anything to drink tonight?"

"He had a beer at dinner, but Ma told him that if he wanted to watch Livy dance he wasn't allowed ta drink."

I watched Olivia stick her arms out to Jasper, but he looked like he didn't know what he should do with her. Alice kneeled down beside him plopping his daughter onto his lap. She smiled at him, his eyes widening as she spoke to him. I caught a small smile grace his lips and he looked down at Olivia.

"Look at that," Edward grinned.

"I don't think I've ever seen him genuinely smile."

"Mmm," he hummed against my ear and I felt fingers below my costume.

"God," I moaned. "We can't do this here. There are young eyes around, babe."

"Do you know how badly I want to fuck ya in this thin'?" Edward groaned, nipping at my neck.

"Maybe later, when we go home," I laughed as I grabbed his hands.

"Ya callin' my place home, gorgeous?" he asked, cupping my face.

"No… I don't know… maybe?" I stammered unsure of his feelings about this. Mine were already decided. I wanted Edward.

"Yar my home," he declared, leaving smacking kisses against my shoulder.

His simple and heartfelt answer broke a lot of the tension I was feeling. In that moment, I let my body melt into his as we watched the rest of the recital from back stage.

"Hey B, you're up in fifteen," Alice called.

I begrudgingly moved away from Edward to warm up. He pulled my arm, moving me to him so he could give me a deep kiss.

"I can't wait to see ya," he winked.

I nodded and let him go back to his seat as I stretched. I loved dancing in front of my students, but this crowd was a little more nerve wracking. Alice's students came from very wealthy backgrounds and most of her contributors were known in the Boston and Manhattan art worlds. We never knew who would be at our shows, whether it was contemporary or classical, dance scouts showed up. Alice knew who was there, but she just didn't like to tell me.

"Miss Isabella Swan performing a self-choreographed piece," the announcer echoed.

I closed my eyes and felt the lights hit me as the curtains rose. I took a deep breath, moving into my steps when the music cued me.

When I danced, I felt what I was trying to represent. Lately, all I'd been feeling is love. This all-consuming, time stopping, make your heart hurt in the best way type of thing I had with Edward. My movements became slow and graceful as Clair de Lune played around me. Normally I was known for Grand jetés in my dances, but when I choreographed this recent piece, I felt I had nothing to leap away from but rather something to move towards.

I moved into a Fouetté en tournant, spinning continuously until the note I was waiting for shifted the song completely. I wasn't going to lie, but a major reason I loved this song was because of the Chanel No. 5 commercial with Nicole Kidman. I knew that sounded ridiculous, but the whole story behind it, that great love she found but left to go back to her reality, killed me every time. Edward teased me about it when I pulled the video up on YouTube, saying I'd never experience anything like what they had.

Finally pulling my focus back to my performance, I ended it with an _attitude en pointe. _As soon as the music stopped the entire venue roared with applause, but I heard my true audience hooting and hollering from the front row. Esme bouncing Olivia in her arms, both daintily cheering; Jasper and Edward putting their fingers in their mouths whistling; Rosalie clapping very ladylike compared to the rest of her family; Carlisle clapping his hands down on Dad's shoulders, shaking them while they both called my name. I bowed, feeling completely giddy from seeing these people so proud of me.

Before exiting the stage, I locked eyes with Edward. He mouthed _I love you_ and I said it back, causing me to sigh when I stepped back stage.

"I think I met my soul mate," Alice blurted as she almost jumped on me.

"Huh?" I asked, seeing if I heard her right.

Alice didn't believe in love. She definitely believed in lust, but not love.

"Jasper, Olivia's dad. He kept me waiting," she explained.

"Kept you waiting for what?" I was still confused by the direction this conversation had taken.

"Him, Bella. He kept me waiting for him," she said, letting out an exasperated sigh.

"Do you mean like a love at first sight kind of thing?"

"I mean my soul is bound to his kind of thing." She sounded so sure of her words.

"Uh," I started, but was cut off when my feet left the ground.

"Ya were fuckin' phenomenal," Edward breathed, slowly bringing me down.

His mouth latched onto mine and it was kind of hard to respond with words, so I let my kiss in return speak for me.

"Christ, I wanna be inside ya," he whined against my lips.

"Gag me. Get a room," Alice huffed.

I ignored her and answered Edward instead. "We're going out with everyone after the show."

"Fuget about them. I told my Ma we're gonna go home now. I want ya naked now, but that's gonna have ta wait about forty-five minutes."

"Edward," I started, but the look in his eyes told me all I needed to know. This wasn't up for discussion. "Bye Alice?" I told her, sounding unsure of my plans.

"See you two wacky kids tomorrow," she said, shooing us away with an indulgent smile.

I rushed to the dressing room, struggling to get changed fast enough and out to Edward's car at the front of the building.

"Fuck, ya were so good tonight, gorgeous," he breathed. "The way yar body moved to the music…perfection."

"Thank you," I mumbled shyly, feeling my cheeks heat.

He picked up my hand in his, squeezing it and I lifted our joined hands kissing the back of his.

"You're perfection everyday."

"Ugh, when we get back home…" he groaned.

Luckily it didn't take Edward long to find a parking spot. Street parking around here was always a bitch.

"Come on," I murmured, sticking my hand out to him.

He took my hand in his, leading us upstairs. He stole kisses until we were in his apartment, but once we were in the living room all thought left the both of us. We fumbled and teased our way into the bedroom. Edward wrapped his arms around my waist, throwing me back on the bed, our lips never breaking apart as he settled himself between my thighs.

Before I could even think about it, he had my shirt over my head and my sweats thrown on the floor. He found his hold on my waist again as he slid the long fingers of his right hand up my thighs while the other went behind my neck. Lifting his body from between my legs, he fingered the edge of my panties before slowly slipping his fingers into them and pulled them down my legs. I helped kick them off once they got to my ankles.

Edward crawled back on top of me; his painfully obvious denim covered erection was grinding against my slit, hitting me in all the right spots. The feel of the fabric of the jeans covering his erection on my clit was slowly going to kill me if we kept it up. It was maddening and I wanted more. More of him. Now. I smiled at the thought and trailed my fingernails down his shoulders, his arms, and over his back, grabbing his firm ass in my hands to push his body even harder into mine.

A groan rumbled deep within Edward's throat, a wicked smile appearing on his face. He grabbed my hands and held them in one of his, bringing them above my head slowly to trap me beneath him. I gave him a small pout and he laughed, bending down to place his mouth over mine.

"God, I love ya," he mumbled against my lips before sliding his hands down my arms.

His skin was smooth on mine and he used just enough force to have me wiggling around like a crazy person.

He sat up on his heels and stared down at me as he very slowly began to unbuckle his belt. My breaths were coming in hard, uneven pants as I watched him.

I wanted to touch him. Hell, I wanted him to touch me! Unable to control it, my body started to rotate against him, desperately in need of release. Edward's smile grew even wider as he peered down at my wet center with hungry eyes.

I shook my head at him tugging at his button down. It was rushed, but I finally got his shirt open. I knew buttons flew when I heard them skip across the floor, but I kept at the task at hand, sliding the sleeves down his arms.

Knowing I was growing impatient with his slow pace, he must have read my mind and saw my frustration. He finished up with his belt quickly, leaving it on but unbuckled as he smirked down at me and dipping his head to kiss me deeply. When he pulled away, he started to unbutton and unzip his pants finally.

I watched as he was sprung free from his pants and pushed his cock against me, bumping the head of it hard into my clit. My eyes rolled back in my head and a strangled cry left my mouth. He slid the tip teasingly up and down my slit, spreading the wetness around while simultaneously driving me insane. With a grin, he slowly pushed into me, nearly making me cum before he was even all the way in.

I couldn't help but shut my eyes and suck in a huge gulp of air the second he was completely inside of me. Just as the feelings turned to complete pleasure, he withdrew from me slowly, causing me to break away from his lips and cry out at the loss of him.

He pulled out all the way only to plunge back in with amazing force, cutting off my frustrated cries.

"Harder… Edward, p-please?" I pleaded and his smile was triumphant on his face.

He took hold of my bottom lip with his teeth, causing a cry of pleasure to come from my lips.

"Ya… like… that?" he panted, accentuating each word with his thrusts. I think my moans and screams were answer enough for him because he kept his rhythm up.

"Bellaaaa, ya need to cum, fuckkkk, now!" he breathed out as he trailed one of his hands shakily up my thigh and rubbed the pad of his thumb against my clit.

It wasn't long until I saw stars burst in my vision, my back arching against the mattress and fingers clawing at the sheets. An ear-piercing scream left my throat as the most powerful orgasm took over my body. Edward jerked inside of me, spilling into me as he filled me. I let out a breathless giggle. My eyes began to close from the exhaustion of the day we'd had. Edward crawled off me, moving instead to lie beside me. He wound his arm around my waist and I turned, burying my face in his chest, feeling completely euphoric. After catching his breath, he lifted my face from his chest and brought his lips down softly on mine.

"I will never get tired of that," he sighed.

"What about when we're all pruney and old?" I asked, wrinkling my nose.

"Even then I'll love ya most, Bella," he said sappily with a smirk.

At that, I attacked his lips with mine.

"I think you're ready again," I giggled, nudging his semi-hard wood with my thigh.

"We'll just have ta fix that," he growled, rolling back on top of me.

Giggles shook my body and I swore this was the happiest I could get.

**A/N: Thanks to everyone still reading this. I'm trying to get both stories back on a schedule. RL has been totally kicking my ass. As always please tell me what you think! My amazing beta's Dolphin62598 and rainydays23 helped out like always and it's much appreciated! **


	12. Chapter 12

**BPOV**

"Merry," Kiss. "Christmas… nom, nom, nom," Edward mumbled against my neck.

He tickled me while I squirmed under his fingers and I loved his silly nature.

"Best Christmas ever," I giggled, finally wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Best Christmas eva," he confirmed and left a chaste kiss on my lips.

Last night was good. It was really good. Not only did we miss the end of the recital, we also missed midnight mass. I should care, but the delicious ache in my thighs was telling me, _you go girl_.

"Ya sore?"

"Maybe just a little," I laughed, nuzzling my nose against his jaw as he dropped down more on me.

"Then I guess, I should get a showa," he sighed, raising an eyebrow.

That's when I physically attached myself to him, wrapping my arms and legs around him. I was literally off the bed; it was like my weight didn't affect him at all. He snorted, crawling backward on our bed with his palms and knees until he hit the edge of the bed and his feet were on the floor.

"I'm not weighing you down," I scoffed in disbelief.

"Nah."

Hiding my face in his neck, his hands finally pushed off the bed and we were headed to the shower.

"Are you going to put me down?"

"Nah."

"Is that all you're going to say? Nah?"

"Yeah," he grinned brightly.

"Well, what's the point of a shower if I won't be getting clean?"

"You'll be gettin' _wet_," he smirked wickedly, moving so my back hit the tile. His erection ground into my now wet center. "See," he chuckled against my skin.

After fifteen more minutes of our shower time fun, we hurried and cleaned up before getting ready for our day, as ready as we could for now. Once Edward plopped me down on the bed, he grabbed a clean pair of basketball shorts, slipping them on. After he was done with that, he got a t-shirt and clean panties out for me before dressing me in them.

I could only imagine the smile I had on my face when he took my hand in his. It probably made me look like a lunatic. Last Christmas I was alone in Forks. I hadn't started dating Em until mid January and it was the same as every year. Dad, Billy, Jacob and me, that was it. Though there were others there, I was still alone…lonely.. This year , I was all warm, toasty and loved.

"I love that face," Edward said, kissing me quick. "Sit here and I'll get our coffee."

"Okay," I sighed, kissing him again. "I love you."

"I love ya too, gorgeous."

I watched the lights on the tree, feeling so happy that this was our first Christmas together. We picked the tree out last week at this lot near the bar. Edward informed me this was his first tree since moving out of Carlisle and Esme's house. We ended up having to get lights, tinsel and decorations. Once Esme caught wind of what we were doing she's came over with a box of priceless bulbs and ceramic ornaments. She even got us a very special one with two ceramic Christmas angels on it and_ Edward and Bella's First Christmas 2011_ engraved on a gold plate. It was beautiful and we placed it right in the middle of the tree for anyone and everyone to see.

"Here Bell," Edward said softly, handing me my coffee before sliding behind me on the couch.

"There seem to be a lot more presents under the tree than I remember," I stated and sipped my coffee. Hazelnut. I loved him.

"That Santa fucker must have stopped by," he shrugged.

"Don't call Santa that," I gaped.

"Were ya on the naughty or nice list, Bell?" he asked as he kissed my shoulder.

"Nice, of course."

"Not even a lil' naughty?" he questioned, dragging his teeth against my neck.

"Maybe a little," I moaned.

I settled against Edward's chest as we remained quiet and just laid there. His hand rubbed my thighs as I finished the rest of my coffee. I felt a little more awake now.

"Ready ta open gifts?"

"I don't want to move, babe," I whined.

"Gifts," he nudged my neck with his nose.

"Fine," I pouted, getting up to pick up a few boxes before bringing them back to the couch. "Bella," I said placing the little box by his feet. "Edward, Edward," I handed him his two bigger boxes from me. "Bella." Another small box for me.

"Sit closer ta me while we do this," he said softly as he patted the space by his thigh. "Ya grabbed the good ones first, gorgeous."

"What did you do?"

"Santa likes naughty girls," he winked, placing my boxes in my hands. "Now open."

I carefully unwrapped the beautiful paper surrounding my gift. Who would have thought he was a skilled gift wrapper?

"Did you wrap this?"

"I worked a Santa Village at the mall all through high school," he shrugged like it was nothing.

I grabbed his forearm and my eyes widened. "Don't tell me you were an elf."

"Head elf my senior year," he stated proudly and I couldn't hold in my burst of hysterics. "Laugh all you want, but elves get a lot of action."

"Action? You're lying," I snorted.

"Hay, all I'm sayin' a lot of lonely ma's, fellow girl elves, and maybe Mrs. Claus liked to be pressed up the wall of Santa's house."

"Ew," I smacked him.

"I was a teenager, Bella. I never kept it in my pants," he sighed, rubbing his hand over his face.

"I love you even though you're a reformed man whore," I kissed him softly.

"Ya know when I went to college I changed my ways. Then Liv happened and this punk kid tried to maul Rosie so I learned to respect women more, ya know?" he said quietly.

"You respect me," I smiled, cupping his cheek.

"I worship the ground those pretty feet walk on," Edward informed me, leaning in and capturing my lips with his. "Now open."

I opened the lid of the first box where a small ornate sterling silver case sat. I turned the box upside down, letting the case fall into my palm. "Open it," he murmured, nipping at my jaw.

Slowly I turned the clasp on the lock. The case was polished, but still looked like it was from the early 1900's. Carefully I flipped the lid, gasping at the pearl earrings nestled in the case.

"Edward," I rasped, squeezing his forearm again.

"They were Nana Platt's," he whispered and covered my hand as my welled up with tears. "Before she passed she asked Ma to give me them and this," he said handing me the other box. Same intricate case, but longer, opening it made my tears fall even more. A matching necklace.

"My god, these are beautiful," I sniffled.

"My directions from Esme were that I had ta give these ta my wife, but now that I have you I didn't want ta wait. I wanted you ta have them."

"But what if…" I started.

"No what ifs, Bella. One day ya will be my wife, I am sure of it. It's either you or no one else. Do ya understand me?"

"Why not just propose?"

"And have ya freak out? No thank ya," he laughed, shaking his head.

"You shouldn't assume anything," I huffed.

"Okay, I'll promise ya this, graduate and get a job first, then we'll talk and I'll come up with the most romantic proposal ya've eva seen."

"I'm holding you to that," I choked out around my happy tears.

It was Edward's turn to tear into his gifts. He ewed and awed over the Red Sox hoodie and flannel button down I got him before going to get more gifts from the tree.

* * *

><p>"I think we went a little over board," I sighed, tugging at the Lilly Pulitzer dress he gave me.<p>

We were on our way to the hotel to pick Charlie up and I suddenly felt super squirmy. Our families were having Christmas together.

"Hay, I took Ma shoppin' with me. I let her tell me what was up and I picked colors and styles," he defended.

"Edward, all the things you gave me cost way too much," I frowned.

_Way too much. I felt like I was Jackie Freaking O. Great Edward was turning me into a Kennedy… Boston royalty._

"Gorgeous, stop. It's Christmas and for this day ya get nothing but the best."

"Thank you, Daddy Warbucks," I grumbled.

"Wasn't he that bald dude that took in that kid with the red fro?"

"Yes."

"Man, he was ballin'," Edward snorted.

"Ugh, to you," I groaned, looking out the window.

After a few minutes of silence, I felt him pick up my hand and kiss it.

"Guess what?" he asked.

My lips started to twitch up, "What?"

"I love ya," he announced in this silly shocked voice.

Was there anything more important than love? Because I didn't think so.

* * *

><p>"Ma, it's like two days in a row yar making me suffa," Rosalie shouted down from the top of the stairs.<p>

"Just put on the dress, lass," Esme sighed, shaking her head as she greeted us. "She's been moody all mornin', that one."

"Ya should ground her or sumptin'," Edward laughed, pulling her into a tight hug before placing a sloppy kiss on her cheek.

"She's too old to ground," she giggled.

"Still livin' at home means she can be grounded," he insisted, raising an eyebrow.

"I feel like were in The Departed," Charlie teased, putting his hand on my shoulder.

"Tell me about it," I retorted in my terrible Boston accent.

"Ahhhh, she did the voice," Edward groaned playfully, tugging at my hand.

"Hay, I have a wicked accent," I grinned.

"Stawp," he said thickly.

"Everyone stop, I can only take so much," Carlisle complained while he carried Olivia.

"Aunt Bella," she squealed, reaching for me.

"I get it, we love Aunt Bella more then Uncle Eddie," he said, tugging at Liv's curls.

"I love her," Olivia declared against my neck.

"And I love you," I smiled, kissing her head.

"This room is filled with love, now lets open more presents," Carlisle declared, wrapping his arm around Charlie's shoulder. "Chief, I have a Coke with your name on it."

"Sounds good to me," Dad nodded.

"Total bromance," I laughed, snuggling closer to Edward's side.

"Maybe, but I kinda love how our families mesh, ya know?"

"Hmm," I agreed.

Honestly, to say this was one of my best Christmases would be an understatement. Olivia opened each of her gifts so daintily and let out a squeal-giggle once she saw what it was. It was precious and I almost wanted to squeal-giggle with her.

Edward kept me close under his arm as we cuddled on the couch watching everyone. Well almost everyone. Jasper had yet to show up. Esme kept calling his cell, but all she could get was his voicemail. Carlisle ended up taking her out into the hallway and dad shot me a curious look.

"Where is he?" I whispered close to Edward's ear.

"I don't know, but he does this every Christmas," he replied.

"But Olivia," I frowned.

"I know, gorgeous… I know, but he does this. I'm surprised that he showed up ta the recital."

"That's sad," I mumbled.

I slowly moved away from Edward, sitting on the floor until I crawled a bit down to where Olivia played.

"Hi," she chirped.

"Hey cutie," I smiled, kissing her head.

"Wanna play with me?"

"Of course."

"Of course," she repeated with a giggle.

I noticed Rosalie was watching me carefully. She was very territorial with her niece when I was around.

"Olivia lil' darling, why don't you give Aunt Bella her gift from all of us," Esme said from the love seat by the tree.

"Oh yeah," she exclaimed in remembrance.

She ran across the room, politely asking for the envelope in Esme's hands. Then she walked cautiously with it as if it would break. So adorable.

"This is your present," she whispered, climbing up my lap.

"Thank you."

I opened my present to find five tickets to the ballet Romeo and Juliet in New York. I skimmed the tickets looking for _her _name and found that this production was done by one of the smaller companies. Dad leaned over and I saw him wince.

"Not her," I murmured.

He nodded, but still didn't look okay. Renee did a number on him and even though he was over her, he just wanted nothing to do with her for my sake. When I was applying to college, we had this silent agreement that I would go nowhere near New York.

"Do you like it?" Esme asked eagerly.

"This is the best gift. Thank you," I tried a genuine smile.

"I figured me, Carlisle, Olivia, Edward and you could go, maybe make a weekend out of it?" she asked hopefully. "We have until April though to plan. I made sure to get tickets for after your last final."

"I love that idea," I nodded.

Though a weekend away with family sounded amazing, what scared me was that I hadn't been to New York in almost eight years and I had this gut feeling it wouldn't be good.

**A/N: I have an idea what you're thinking and it's not that… Oh, these two are so mushy mush and I love it! Tell me what you're thinking because I'm interested to know! By the way saw the Cosmopolis trailer and thought it was insane, but totally hearted it! Dolphin62598 and rainydays23 beta'd this of course, they're the greatest and I appreciate all of their help!**


	13. Chapter 13

**BPOV**

"Hay, ya too busy ta help me with a case delivery?"

I looked up at Edward, who was peeking his head into the office. His hair was all over the place thanks to the quickie we'd had over an hour before.

"Yeah, I can help for a minute," I nodded, getting up from my seat.

To be honest, I needed a break from the final paper for my Romantics Lit class. The quickie was a short break because Edward didn't like the stressed look on my face. It did help get rid of some of the tension I was feeling.

This last semester had really flown by and with graduation a month and a half away; I couldn't help feeling giddy about spending all my time with Edward this summer. We talked about taking a trip to Fire Island after Edward told me Carlisle owned property there and I really wanted to spend a week free of interruptions.

"Things comin' along?" he asked, kissing my neck.

"Eh, it's almost done and my professor seemed to like my outline," I shrugged.

"I love that I'm in love with such a smarty," he grinned wide.

"You're one too. I mean you have a degree," I pointed out.

"Not from Harvard," he snorted.

I shook my head as we walked out the back door to the loading dock. Surrounding the bar was the state store, a convenient store, and an antique furniture seller, so Edward wasn't the only one waiting out back for case deliveries. Edward handed me the inventory list and he helped the delivery guy load our dolly.

"Bella, two cases of Stella and Corona," Edward called over to me from the truck.

"Got it," I said, marking his sheet.

We had the door open and I could hear Rosalie yelling. Sighing, I pulled out my phone checking the time. It was a little after four so I knew what was going on inside. Jasper had made it a point since New Years to come into the bar already half tanked at noon, four, nine and midnight. At all four times, he demanded to be served and each and every time, Edward had told us not to give him a drop of alcohol. He always started out asking nicely, but he quickly got irritated when we refused to serve him.

"I said I want a beer now," he yelled and I heard the sound of his fist hitting the mahogany surface.

"Yar, not getting any douche bag," she snapped. "I'll call Eddie out here."

"Hay, what's up?" Edward asked, seeing the concern on my face.

"Jasper," was all I needed to say and he was charging back into the bar.

"Miss Bella, can we finish this up? I have a delivery across town to make." Mike, the delivery guy, asked.

"Sure."

We unloaded the rest of the supply Edward had ordered and just as I was attempting to roll the dolly in, Edward's arms wrapped around my waist.

"I got it," he murmured, kissing my cheek.

"Are you okay?"

"He needs rehab. This has gone on long enough."

I think Christmas was Edward's last straw with Jasper. After I cried the remainder of the night for Olivia, Edward had been beyond harsh to his brother. Alice had been more than bummed for the past couple months, thinking that Jasper would come around the studio to watch his daughter. I explained to her time and time again that she should not think twice about him, but she insisted he was her soul mate and was too stubborn to listen.

"Where is he?"

"Walkin' down the street somewhere. I called Garrett and gave him a heads up cause Carlisle is at work. I don't want Ma comin' to get him either."

When we went back into the bar, Rosalie looked a little spooked so I sat on one of the stools while Edward ran inventory in the back. Things between us had gotten a smidge better. I mean she did kind of say more than a few words to me.

"What's wrong?"

"Jazz grabbed my arm," she whispered.

I looked at where she was holding her upper arm, gently prying her fingers away. Sure enough, she had an angry red mark that would surely form into a bruise.

"Did you tell Edward?"

She shook her head sadly. "He came out hollerin' at Jazzy and it scared Jazz. He let go… I wouldn't pour him a drink, so he grabbed my arm pulling me almost over the bar. He was so mad when Eddie put a call out around the neighborhood not ta serve him. "

"You need to tell Edward," I suggested.

"Eddie would kill him and make sure Jazz would never see Olivia again. If Jazz eva pulls his head outta his ass, he'll never get her back. Ed will see to it. Jazz's dad used ta hit our… Liz I guess. Ed never forgot it," she sighed, shaking her head.

"I think I should cancel my poker game tamorrow night," Edward announced, sitting down next to me.

"No, Garrett's been looking forward to it since Kate had the baby. He needs to get out of the house, babe," I pointed out.

"It'll be just you and Rosie… if Jazz comes in and starts shit I don't want my girls dealin' with it."

"We'll be fine," Rose huffed. "Me and Bella got this."

He started to kiss a path up my neck. "Are ya sure, gorgeous?"

"Yeah, Rose said we got this," I smiled, trying to convince him.

We would just have to see. Maybe Jasper took Edward seriously this time because that night, he never came in.

* * *

><p>The next morning I woke to Edward hovering over me. I smiled up at him, loving how happy he looked.<p>

"Yes?" I giggled, feeling him press against my center.

"Time ta wake up," he grinned as he reached down to stroke me. "Hmm, so wet for me already."

"Please," I begged, lifting my hips up.

"Ya know I love ya living here, right?" he groaned, slipping in.

"Home… this is our home," I panted as he picked up speed.

There were these times I swore we would get so lost in each other. He was intense and passionate, but I knew at all times I was loved. Living together had been an adjustment. We never did our laundry together and I learned fast how particular he was about the task. He would do mine sometimes, but I knew better than to do his.

"Did I bliss ya out that much?" Edward asked later, giving me a cocky look.

"Yep," I grinned, kissing him quickly.

"Ya want me ta pull out?"

"Maybe in a minute or so," I sighed and cupped his face in my hands. "I love being like this… you know? Before our day starts, especially since today we'll both be crazy busy."

He rested our foreheads together for the minute I requested before pulling out of me slowly. I thought for sure he would go shower, but he surprised me by wrapping his arms around me, holding me close.

"Yar what makes my heart beat," he whispered as he nuzzled my face. "Do ya understand that?"

"Yeah, I think I do," I murmured back. "You make mine beat too."

"Ugh, I love ya," he shouted, causing me to laugh.

"Feeling is definitely mutual," I said, running my hands up his back.

After a few more kisses and declarations of love, we were forced to start our day. I had a day filled with helping Alice out at the studio. She had investors coming in today and had to schmooze them up, which meant I had to teach all of her classes.

"Miss Bella?" Casey, one of the girls in Alice's ten to thirteen year old class, asked as we waited for her mom to show up.

"Yes, Case."

"Did you always know you wanted to dance?"

"No, when I was around your age I wasn't that into it," I answered.

"But you're so good at it."

"Took years of dedication and practice," I informed her.

"Miss Swan?" A guy in a flashy suit asked entering the studio.

"Case, wait here for your mom okay?"

"Yeah."

I walked over to the man. He was slick looking, not too far from some of the dad's I'd seen in here, but he fit the mold of one of Alice's investors.

"Yes, I am Miss Swan. Can I help you?"

"I'm Aro Voltaire, from the New York Ballet," he smiled politely, extending his hand to me.

I just stared at his hand, afraid that if I touched it evil would fill my very soul. After a minute of me not warmly greeting him like any normal person would, Aro cleared his throat.

"Isabella, I am here today to speak with you about an opening I have for a principle dancer. One of my scouts saw you in the Christmas recital your school performed…"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Voltaire, but I am not a professional dancer," I interrupted.

"I beg to differ with you. From the video my scout showed me, I would say you are even better than your mother."

"I have no mother."

"And that is why Renee refused to join me today. She told me you were stubborn and that you blamed her for your life," he added, waving his hand.

"There is nothing to blame her for. I had an excellent up bringing thanks to my father. I am a writer. That is the profession I chose for my future."

"Ah yes. Isabella Swan, Harvard graduate."

"So I'm guessing you and Renee have done your fair share of research."

"We have and this was the only place we had to find you since you seem to have no residence. Your mother fears you are in trouble since your former landlord said you left two months ago."

"That might be because I live with my fiancé," I snapped, lying completely through my teeth.

"Fiance? Now that is a surprise."

I knew as soon as he left the building that Renee would have an earful. She was pissed when I stopped dancing or simply refused to dance, so I knew she'd explode when she found out that I was planning to marry at a younger age than she did.

"Mr. Voltaire, I'm sorry that you wasted your time coming all the way here, but Miss Brandon only allows scouts in here for her students, not her instructors. If you would like, I can give you her business card to verify the terms of my teaching contract here."

"Let's do this Isabella. I'll leave you my card and let you decide further about your future. I just would like you to acknowledge that I'm a persistent man."

"Acknowledged," I mumbled.

"Until next time, Miss Swan," he grinned, sliding his card into my hand.

I took it, but it's home would be the bottom of Alice's trashcan. Casey had left during that delightful chat so I walked over to my bag grabbed my phone. I instantly dialed Edward's number.

"Hay gorgeous, my phone is about to die," he warned.

"Okay, it's not important. I just wanted to talk."

"You heading ova to the bar?"

"Yeah, I'm going to change and lock up here."

"I'm gonna try ta charge my phone here while we play. Call me when yar ready ta leave."

"Alright, love you," I said, but heard his phone disconnect.

I was going to have to talk to him when he picked me up tonight. _It was fine_, I told myself. This whole thing wasn't even a big deal. I tossed that sneaky snake's card out and if Renee tried to contact me again, I would get dad involved. He would never let her bother me.

I used Alice's private shower and changed into my usual bartending clothes before I locked up the studio. I did leave Ali a note telling her to call me in the morning and we could grab coffee. I knew she'd be pissed that a scout taped me without any of our knowledge.

Entering the bar, I could tell it was going to be a late night. It was completely packed and there was a line out the door. Embry, our usual doorman, had to call his cousin to help him out tonight.

"Maybe we should call Edward," I shouted over the crowd.

"Pffffttt, we got this," Rose hollered.

"So you keep saying," I grunted.

"Bella, like ya said yesterday, ya wanted him to have a guy's night out. He needed a break from this place. This is normal Friday business."

She was right. This was the norm for a Friday and we had another bartender coming in at nine. We could do this and Edward could have the night off. He deserved it. Rose and I worked in sync for an hour until I noticed Jasper stumble in.

"Oh great," I groaned.

Rose's blue eyes shot to where I was looking and we watched Jasper waltz over to his buddy's table. They had a table filled with shots; he scooped up two with no problems at all.

"Shit," Rose glared.

"I'm calling Edward."

I walked to the end of the bar fishing out my phone in my bag. I tried twice and got his voicemail both times. _Shit._ I called a cab next and was told it would be twenty minutes.

Benjamin climbed over the bar, ready to start his shift, so I took that as an opportunity to get Jasper out of here. I made my way to the table sitting.

"Uh-oh, I'm in trouble," he snorted to his buddies.

"Broad doesn't look that happy Jazz," his friend pointed out.

"I called you a cab Jasper," I told him.

"Maybe I don't wanna go."

"Well you either leave via cab or I'll call Edward," I warned.

He glared at me, but stood, slumping slightly. I let him walk out in front of me and a couple of times he lost his balance.

"Ya don't have to be such a bitch," he mumbled.

"I'm a bitch?"

"Ya threatened me with the almighty golden brotha," he yelled, throwing his hands up.

He was almost off the sidewalk and I tried grabbing his arm not wanting him in the street. He shook me off, scowling as he righted himself.

"Ya and Edward so perfect. Ya wanna take Liv make her yar kid? Huh?" he barked out.

"Jasper, she's yours. You're her father and she loves you," I said quietly.

He stumbled again, this time off the curb, with his hands waving frantically as he yelled. "She can't love a fuck up. I couldn't even finish out the fuckin' war. I was fuckin' weak an' got shot. When she's older she'll be embarrassed. Her motha couldn't stick around."

Now he was in the middle of the street. I looked both ways seeing nothing coming and reached for him.

"Jasper, please, this isn't safe," I pleaded, wishing Edward were here.

"What isn't safe Bella? No one would miss me," he rasped. "No one."

"That isn't true. Your family loves you. Come on we can wait inside for the cab," I sighed, trying yet again to get a hold of him.

I think I heard it before he did and I definitely saw it. Jasper was in easy view, right there. I shoved him, hard. Since his balance was not stable, he hit the sidewalk on the other side of the street. I felt the searing pain hit my leg first, then my head crunched against the glass.

I saw Edward hovering over me just like he was this morning. It was this morning. His crooked smirk looking dirty and mischievous. A happy light dancing in his bright green eyes. His perfect lips kissing me not once, but twice, then three times.

"Bella, Bella, Bella," Jasper chanted with a cry.

"Bella," Rose's voice called with a roaring scream. "God, the blood."

"He was in the middle of the road," a non-familiar voice cut in. "She pushed him before I could brake. Christ…"

Voices filtered in and out, in and out. Blackness consumed everything. Nothing, nothing, nothing, but Edward hovering proud. He always looked so proud… loving.

"We're losing her," someone shouted.

_Edward, Edward, Edward…_

**A/N: Thoughts, thanks! Beta'd by Dolphin62598 and rainydays23. Huge thanks to them!**


	14. Chapter 14

**EPOV**

**Friday 10:50 pm**

My chest tightened for a second, I didn't know what it was, but Garrett dealt out a hand and something fucking squeezed in my chest.

"Ed, you alright?" Garrett frowned. "You're pale and I don't mean your average Irishman pale."

"Yeah, I'm good… indigestion maybe?" I didn't even sound convinced. Okay, I definitely shouldn't have eaten that fucking chilidog. Shit.

"Fuck that chilidog was fucking wicked delicious," James said with this blissed out look on his face.

"My Katie, knows how to cook," Gar grinned, pointing to his temple.

"Katie's got nothing on my Bell, its fucking pancakes galore at our place," I beamed still rubbing my chest.

Fucking, our place. I loved saying that shit. Meeting that angel was one of the greatest days of my life. She just waltzed into my bar. Out of all the places that she could have gone and she ended up in my bar. Esme even told me I was blessed cause Bell walked into the bar. My wicked brilliant, talented girl.

The tightness started again, it just… something was off.

"Hey Gar, what time is it?"

"Almost eleven," he said as he leaned back on his chair to glance in James's kitchen to see the clock.

"My phone should be charged by now." I said as I slinked over to where my phone was plugged into the corner.

I turned my phone on and the thing started blowing up. I saw I had two missed calls from Bella around nine, but no messages from her. Next, I saw five calls from Rosie and eighteen from Carlisle. My voicemail box was full and I hurriedly fumbled with my phone, listening to the first message.

"Edward," Rosalie wailed into the phone so certain words were crashing into my ear. I could hear people yelling in the background. "Blood…so, so, so much…Bella…saved… Jasper."

I didn't know what was going on, but my baby sister's words had me stumbling against the wall hard.

"Hay," one of my boys yelled, all I heard though was Rosie, then Carlisle, cursing and pleading for me to pick up my goddamn phone.

My phone wasn't near my ear anymore; someone had taken it from my hand. "Shit, its Bella," they mumbled. I think it was Garrett. I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe. Nothing made sense. Nothing made sense.

"Carlisle?" Gar asked, but I couldn't see the room around me. Instead, I saw Bella…gorgeous, under me in bed this morning. Giggling and wiggling under my hold.

"Gar, he's turning purple," James hollered.

"Get him to breathe! Fuck, just get him to breathe," Garrett barked.

"Eddie, man… come on, take a breath," James said gently. "Gar's on the phone with your Pops."

That fucker was never gentle… never nice.

"What happened?" Garrett said. "Christ! His fucking phone was charging, he I guess just saw… Listening to messages… Is she all right? Critical… brain swelling?"

That was fucking it. James and Tyler were hovering and I knocked them the fuck back, barreling to the door. Fucking, _critical_ and _brain swelling_ left my best friend's mouth, then I knew something sure a fuck happened to my beloved… my gorgeous, gorgeous girl. Those were not words that should ever be said about anyone in my life.

"Ed… Edward," Garrett boomed, grabbing my arm and I swung around decking the fucker.

"Motherfuck," he cried as his nose bled.

I froze. I saw Bella under me, safe and sound. _Critical and brain swelling. Critical and brain swelling._ Those four words ran through my mind in a continuous loop, digging deeper into my heart with every second that passed.

"Your kid just cold cocked me," he groaned into my phone.

I stuck my non-throbbing hand out, demanding my phone. He gladly gave it to me, holding his nose as he tipped his head back.

"Garrett, I need him here," my father sighed.

"Where's here?" I rasped, leaning against the lamppost.

"God, Edward you need to calm down first and listen to me," he soothed.

"Tell me what happened," I gritted.

"I want you here at the hospital first. Garrett will drive you. This is something I can't tell you over the phone."

"Carlisle," I pleaded in a whimper.

"Baby," Esme's voice sniffled now. "I need you to go with Garrett."

"Mom? I…please. She…I need her… and I know it's," I sucked in a breath. _Critical and brain swelling._

"Edward, she's in surgery. You need to get here. Bella needs you here. She doesn't need you breaking down. It's not an option, love. So please, let Garrett bring you to her…to us. Please," she cried.

I nodded… up and down, up and down. I gave my phone back Garrett as I slumped heavily against his car.

"Yeah, no problem, Mrs. C. I'll get him there. You too," he winced, hanging up.

We stared at each other. I've known him since we moved in with Ma and Pop. He was the skinny kid with glasses that would pound on our door asking for me to come out and play with him. My best friend since nine years old. My first friend.

"We gotta go," he gestured to the car.

I silently obeyed. Too much was flashy in my head, every moment I'd cherished with Bella. Good or bad, well mostly good. How could this happen? She was in the bar or at least she was supposed to be. She called me at nine o'clock, but then all the calls started pouring in around nine thirty. She left no messages. _Critical and brain swelling._

"Man, you okay?" Garrett asked, glancing at me as he drove.

"What did my Dad tell you?" I asked quietly, not feeling like I had spoken any words.

"Ed, we should wait until we're at the hospital."

"Fucking tell me," I snapped.

"Rosalie called him but he didn't answer. Then he got called into Mount Auburn. Your old man was on call. When he got there…" he trailed off. "Your dad should be the one to tell you."

"Finish it now," I growled.

"Rosie was in the emergency room with Jasper since he was in one of the triage rooms. He had a nasty bump on his head and was wasted as per usual," he took a breath. "Your sister was yelling at him, covered in blood. Your dad checked them over, but it wasn't their blood, Jazz only had a gash on his temple…"

"You're fucking sugar coating this shit," I gritted, tightening my hold on the dash. "Bella, I want to know about my Bell."

"She was hit by a car," he rasped. "Jasper showed up and she called him a cab. Rose told your Pop, then Embry heard him arguing from outside. Bella told him to get out of the street and by the time Embry got out there it happened so fast."

"What happened?" I pounded on the dash of his shitty Chevette he had since high school.

"Bella pushed Jasper out of the way," he said blowing out a huge breath and I noticed him turn pale. _Critical and brain swelling._

"So my baby sister was covered in blood… my Bella bled. I heard the message the kid left me saying there was so much blood and you fucking said those words… critical and brain swelling. She hit her head?" I whispered, feeling a war raging inside my chest.

My angel pushed that piece of shit out of the way; she saved his life in replacement of hers? I felt the tears hit my cheeks. I never cried especially in front of my boys, but what my best friend just told me had absolutely killed me. _Critical and brain swelling._

I noticed we slowed in front of the hospital entrance. "I'll let you out here and I park the car. Meet you up there?"

I fumbled with the door, almost clawing my way out. I moved on auto-pilot to the guest service center in the lobby. The older lady sitting there looked up to me worriedly. I had no idea where Bella was or where to go. Garrett must have still had my phone, so I couldn't call dad.

"Sweetie, are you okay?" she asked.

I wiped at my eyes furiously. "Uh… my…" What do I say? My fucking heart and soul, my reason for breathing had been brought in. I couldn't say I wasn't her family and just her boyfriend, no one would help me. I wouldn't be allowed to know anything. "My fiancée was brought in," I sniffed, trying to suck it all back.

When those words fell from my lips she looked at me sadly. She looked to be around Ma's age and I could see sympathy for me in her eyes.

"What is her name?"

"Isabella Swan," I choked out, feeling myself starting to break even further.

She started to type on her keyboard as she read the screen. "You're Edward, Dr. Cullen's boy?" she asked.

I nodded slightly, almost clutching the counter for full support to stand.

"We have a notice posted to Isabella's case to look out for you when you got here. Let me page him," she smiled.

"Dr. Cullen to the main entrance lobby. Dr. Cullen to the main entrance lobby," her voice echoed throughout the hospital.

Hearing them call Carlisle, I started to feel shaky. Seeing him and everyone else here made this all the more real and I didn't want any of it to be real. I wanted to swing by the bar and pick Bella up, go home and hold her close to me in bed.

"Edward," Dad called.

My head whipped in his direction as him and my mother rushed towards me. Ma wrapped me in her arms, letting me crumble.

"It's okay," she murmured, crying herself. "I'm so very sorry."

"Thank you, Shelly," I heard dad say to the receptionist.

"No problem, Dr. Cullen."

"Let's move this out of the lobby," he addressed me and mom softly, gesturing to the waiting room off in the corner.

"I need to get to her," I argued as looked over Ma's shoulder at him.

He shook his head, guiding us into the room. "Edward, there are too many people upstairs for what we need to discuss with you. I can't even imagine how you feel right now, but I know that temper of yours and you need to be prepared and focused for Bella's sake."

"C'mon, baby," Ma whispered, leading me to the empty chair in the corner.

I watched Carlisle move the chair beside me so he could sit in front of me. I wiped at my eyes again before closing them. My head was pounding and I knew it was probably about to get worse.

"I assume Garrett told you what I told him?"

"He told me she was hit," I mumbled.

"Bella has a wide area subacute subdural hematoma," he started and I frowned at his doctor speak. "Clotting, she has a large amount of clotting in her brain, which means they had to perform a craniotomy. They put her on diuretics to keep swelling down and anti-convulsants so she wouldn't start to seize. Her MRI showed a massive amount of clotting an hour after she was brought in, if it were a slow bleed they wouldn't have caught it. The way _it_ happened and with the swelling… she was lucky they caught it in time."

I stopped him, reaching to tug on his arm. "You are not talking to me like I am your son. You are speaking like I'm some victims loved one. Bella is our family; we will get married and have children… our daughter will fucking run around Alice's studio. Quit with the doctor speak and be my father."

Ma pulled me to her cradling my head against her shoulder. She was just as heartbroken as I was. "Carlisle, tell him what they said."

"I'm sorry, Edward," he apologized before starting again. "Her doctor did say that some of Bella's cognitive abilities might be affected, but he doesn't see why she won't make a full recovery if the surgery is a success."

"Cognitive abilities?" I gulped. "So you're saying what? She won't be able to think or move correctly?"

Dad looked at me and then to Ma. I felt her head nod as it rested on the top of mine. He leaned forward taking my hand in his, giving it a quick squeeze. "Things are going to be hard for awhile Edward. Along with her head trauma her right leg was broken in four places and two ribs cracked puncturing a lung…"

"I c-can't," I choked out as his words hit me hard.

This time it was Dad pulling me into his arms, holding on to me tightly. I felt his words near my ear. "She will be in surgery for a couple hours. I talked to the Chief of Surgery here and he has his absolute best working on her. Bella is tough and she will pull through this… you will pull through this. What she did tonight was beyond remarkable and it is killing me just as much as it is you. She didn't have to save Jasper…"

I flew back against my seat glaring at him. Ma tried grabbing for me, but I needed to get this out because if I didn't now, I might kill him when I see him.

"That son of a bitch is nothing to me. He should have died," I roared.

"Edward, no…" Ma sobbed.

"This needs to be stopped real quick," Alice said loudly in the doorway.

I glared at her, even through my tears I could see she had been crying too.

"Stay out of it," I hissed.

"Fuck that," she snapped. "I'm Bella's _person_."

"Her _person_," I said flatly.

"Emergency contact, power of attorney and what not… That would be me. I okayed the surgeries. That girl up there is the closest thing to a sister that I have. I know that you might be the love of her life and all, but I won't stand around and let you shit on the decision and actions she made tonight. Bella is a good person with a good heart and she was saving a life. I know your brother has his demons, but I know Bella doesn't turn away from those that need help. He has a child and I could bet any money that was one of the reasons she did what she did. You will not make either one of them feel guilty for what has happened when the time comes," she sniffed now, pointing her finger in my chest.

In that moment of grief and agony, I knew I needed to pull it together not only for Bella, but for our friends and family as well. I couldn't help but still wish that Jasper was gone, but Alice was right about it all. Bella save him because she believed it was right and I wouldn't make her feel guilty about it.

"You're right and I'm sorry," I said quietly.

We all sat in silence, a sort of limbo if you will. I wasn't sure what to say, I just wanted to be upstairs when Bella's doctors came out.

"Can we go now?" I asked.

"Are you calm enough?" Dad questioned.

"I think…I have a better perspective of things now," I let out an exasperated breath.

"I came down here to tell you guys Charlie is boarding a red eye flight now," Alice informed shakily.

I stood tugging her in for a tight hug and she clung to me as I clung to her. "She will make it through this," Alice breathed.

For the moment, with my Dad and now Alice, saying Bella would make it felt like I was being given a false promise of hope. Meeting Bella was too good to be true. Good things never seemed to stick in my life. When I was little, Liz and Edward Sr. were happy and then he passed away, severely ruining Liz. She became involved with drugs and random men. I then had these half siblings to take care of and then Esme and Carlisle came into our lives. Everything was perfect until I came back from USC and had to deal with Jasper's consequences. I loved my niece as if she was my own, but my brother didn't take care of his responsibilities.

The older he got the worse he was and I could see his father in him. Isaac Whitlock was abusive and an addict. He had put Liz in the hospital more times than I could count and a couple times he tried to hit me for defending Liz. Surprisingly, she never let him touch me. I was the best thing from the love of her life, she once said. She called Jazz and Rosie her bastards, an indiscretion of her mistakes. My biological mother, a Harvard undergrad with a brilliant mind in her youth, had wasted away from grief and agony. I, unlike my brother and mother, was not going to let this defeat me.

"We're all going to be okay," I reiterated. I needed to believe that. Somehow…I would find a way to save the love of my life.

The elevator ride and walk to the waiting room was short. The room was filled with Bell's friends. Rose sat in a pair of scrubs with Olivia asleep in her arms. I noticed she was also leaning against 'I love you' guy. I wasn't even going to touch that right now. There were a row of empty chairs across the room and I sat there alone, not wanting to be bothered until I could see my girl.

**Saturday 3:25 am**

Carlisle and Garrett walked past me for like the sixth time since I'd gotten here. I heard Alice and Ma whispering about the piece of shit. He was supposedly holed up in one of the rooms in this place, had a concussion or something. He got sick a couple times and the nurse would come and get Pops. He deserved it.

My eyes darted around the room. Angela and Ben were sleeping over in the corner. Jessica and Mike went to get coffee and the dumb mammoth known as Emmett was calming my sister down. Rosalie wouldn't look at me. She kept her eyes down, not acknowledging my presence. I heard her cry every once in awhile, but I stayed in my seat.

"Christ," a voice said in the doorway and I met the eyes of Charlie Swan.

He looked frantic with two guys behind him, one in a wheel chair the other a big mother fucker. Ma and Alice stood to fill him in. Bella was still in surgery; one of the surgical interns came in every hour to update us, saying she was stable. The surgery on her leg finished up about thirty minutes ago and they had to put a rod in from her thigh to her knee. That's all we knew. Her team of doctors were waiting until everything was complete to speak with us.

Caught in my thoughts, I hadn't noticed Charlie sit next to me. He nudged my arm, giving me a sad smile.

"How you holding up, kid?" he whispered.

I shrugged, staring at my hands.

"Receptionist told me my daughter's fiancé was waiting up here," he commented. "Secret is safe with me."

"I wanted to be able to see her," I mumbled.

"You can be the first one," he offered.

"You're her dad," I argued.

"Do you know how happy you've made Bella?" My eyes snapped up to his. "I know I gave you a hard time at first, but I do like you. You're a good man."

"I need to see her."

"I know," he sighed, squeezing my shoulder.

A throat cleared, it was the huge guy that came in with Charlie. "Um… you want me to find us a hotel?" he asked awkwardly.

I noticed Emmett glaring at the kid.

"Yeah, Jacob that would be fine."

"I'll be back later," he informed, leaving.

"Billy, come over here," Charlie gestured to the man in the wheelchair. "This is the fiancé."

My face heated as the man chuckled sadly. "Bells will be thrilled to hear that," he said.

"I'm looking for Isabella Swan's family," a tall man with graying hair asked from the doorway.

Charlie stood, tugging on my arm for me to stand and he waved Ma over as well. "I'm _Bella's_ father and this is her fiancé Edward and soon to be mother-in-law Esme."

"Hello, I'm Dr. Banner. We just wheeled Bella in and got her settled in the ICU. We've put her in a medically induced coma for now, but you can go ahead and sit with her if you want. The surgery went extremely well," he said before continuing. "I was able to remove all of the excess blood and clots as well as repair the area. No problems at all. We'll leave her intubated until she wakes up."

"Good," Charlie breathed. "That's… That's good."

"I'll be honest with you. Like I told Dr. Cullen before, there are chances that her cognitive abilities might be affected. We won't know anything until she wakes up."

"What does that mean doctor?" I asked, hoping he could be a little clearer than my father had been earlier.

"From the types of trauma Bella suffered, it can vary. Her motor skills could be affected or pieces of her memory gone. She might forget what something is or how to do something like an everyday task. There might be disorientation or emotional outbursts of excessive crying or extreme agitation, but right now we're getting ahead of ourselves. We can only wait and see how Bella is when she wakes up."

"You said she was in a coma?" I spoke up again.

"A medically induced one," he corrected. "I'd like to keep her under for a few days and let her body heal a bit from the surgeries. The orthopedic surgeon and cardiologist on Bella's case were pulled into other surgeries and will by later to discuss their plans of recovery as well."

"About her leg and…" I trailed off knowing a cardiologist was a heart doctor.

"Bella's rib cracked puncturing her lung at the site of the accident. The paramedics said she was crashing, but we were able to fix the problem," Dr. Banner explained.

I heard my sister sobbing. No one had said anything about crashing to me. She almost died… they were losing her and nobody said a thing. I clenched my fists at my sides, not saying another word.

"We can see her now?" Charlie asked.

"Only one family member at a time," he stated.

"Edward," Charlie and Ma pushed me.

"Follow me, I can take you up to the ICU," Dr. Banner smiled warmly.

I followed quietly behind him as he took me up to the ICU floor. A million thoughts floated in my head. What would she look like? Would her hair be gone since they had to operate? It was stupid, but I didn't know what to expect.

Dr. Banner opened the door holding it for me. He instructed me on how to wash my hands and told me what I could and could not do. I saw her at the end of the room with the curtain slightly pulled.

"Is she…? That's her?"

"Yes, I'll leave you two alone," he smiled, tugging the curtain so I could enter and pulling it closed behind me.

My eyes couldn't leave her. I took in the tube in her mouth, noticing it was helping her breathe. Then I moved up to the severely bruised right side of her face. It was quite noticeable that she was hit on her right side; her arms and face were more battered there. I exhaled, shuffling forward.

"What did you do, gorgeous?" I whispered, picking up her bruised hand giving it a light kiss.

Her leg was in a swing like thing keeping it elevated. I didn't need to talk to her doctor; I knew already she would probably never dance again. She once told me what dancing was to her and how painful it would be for her never to be able to do it again; I knew this would kill her.

I saw her bandaged head with her long hair resting on her shoulders. She looked so small, childlike. This wasn't my happy girl from yesterday morning. The one that continuously kissed my lips with a giggle.

"I love you, angel," I sighed, sitting on her left side.

Dr. Banner said I was okay to touch her there. So I buried my face into the left side of her stomach close to her hip, placing a few kisses.

"God Bell, this is killing me," I sucked in a breath. "I know you were trying to keep Jazz safe, but you shouldn't have been there. We should be in bed, right now."

I cried, trying to imagine that. Us in our bed, sleeping like we do. Sometimes chest to chest, me in only my boxers and her in her boy shorts. Or with her in one of my tanks tops and panties and me wearing nothing. Or when it was just us, both laying skin to skin.

"I should be holding you, gorgeous. You with your head over my heart… not like this," I whimpered into her sided. "Just please, when the doctors wake you, be alright. Even if something is wrong, I vow that I'll make it better."

My shoulders shook as the sobs racked my body. I wanted to make her better and take all this bullshit away. I fucking didn't know how to be without her. If what Dr. Banner said were true, about all the side effects, happened, I will step up and make sure life won't be a struggle for her.

"Don't worry, baby, I have your back through this…. I'll make it better…I'll make it better," I repeated, closing my eyes and letting the exhaustion of the day settle over me.

"Edward," Charlie said, touching my shoulder.

"Hmmm."

"It's nine o'clock," he whispered.

I felt Bella beneath me and suddenly last night came flooding back. I opened my eyes blinking sleepily.

"I'm sorry," I rasped.

"It's okay. I told the nurses to leave you. They said you fell asleep and I figured you needed her as much as she does you."

"I…thank you, sir."

"Dr. Banner says she's doing well. We can both sit in here with her until she's moved. They're moving her later this afternoon if her scans comeback good."

"That's great, right?"

"It is," he smiled finally, looking at his daughter. "Bells."

"I can leave," I offered even though I didn't want to.

"No stay," he choked. "She looks like my little girl that ran around Seattle… You can't blame your brother."

"Why the fuck not?" I snapped.

"I was just like him after Bella's mother left. I drank to forget my name and my own child was far from my mind. Then one day Billy stepped in, forcing me into out-patient treatment," he sighed. "I think when Bella sees little Olivia, she sees herself. She wants Olivia to have her father back."

"So you're okay with all of this?" I spat.

"Now, I didn't say that. Your father and I discussed some treatment plans for him and are going to check some places out while I'm here. Jasper needs this second chance… Bella gave him that."

I turned that over in my head. I didn't want to say this to Charlie, but I didn't think I could ever forgive Jasper, no matter how much Bella sacrificed for this chance.

**A/N: This was exhausting… I'm writing the next chapter to this probably as you read and we'll go from there. No Boston accent from him because when we speak we don't realize we have accents, I'll leave it at that. I definitely can't wait to hear from you! Dolphin62598 and rainydays23 were my amazing betas on this so big thanks to them!**

**A medical jargon explained via wikipedia:**

**Subacute subdural hematoma- is a type of hematoma, a form of traumatic brain injury. Blood gathers within the outermost meningeal layer, between the dura mater, which adheres to the skull, and the arachnoid mater, which envelops the brain. Basically clotting of the blood**

**Craniotomy- is a surgical operation in which a bone flap is temporarily removed from the skull to access the brain. Craniotomies are often a critical operation performed on patients recording, brain imaging, and for neurological manipulations such as electrical stimulation and chemical titration.**

**Cognitive Abilities- Per cep tion, Atten tion, Mem ory, Motor, Lan guage, Visual and Spa tial Processing and ****Emo tional self-regulation.**


	15. Chapter 15

**EPOV**

**Sunday**

**Monday**

**Tuesday**

**Wednesday 8:45 am**

Four fucking days I'd been cooped up in this suite. After Carlisle and the Chief of Surgery pulled some major strings, we were able to get Bella sanctioned off where the maternity wing ended and the post-op wing begun.

The room was huge and had a private bathroom. Only in fucking Cambridge did they have luxury shit like this. The room didn't matter though; only the girl in the room did. I leaned over the bed, palming the left side of her face.

"I think you should wake up today, gorgeous," I murmured, letting my thumb stoke her cheek. "Open those big brown peepers."

They took her off the ventilator and when the small area of her punctured lung didn't collapse, the doctor said it could heal on its own. Her x-rays showed improvement from the ones on Saturday morning and for that, I was grateful. Each one of her doctors believed she would make a full recovery. Dr. Banner was slightly concerned about her brain activity and how things were reading on the monitor.

"Edward," Alice groaned as she stepped into the room.

"Do you mind? We're trying to wake up here. Huh gorgeous?"

"You need to leave her alone," Alice sighed dramatically. "Dr. Banner said she needs to wake up on her own."

"Ignore her, Bell," I whispered, kissing Bella's soft lips.

"Okay Prince Charming, shower now. You're starting to smell again."

"You know," I glared at her. "I'm not liking you very much right now."

"And I'm so affected by that," she said, rolling her eyes. "Now please go shower. I don't want to get Esme in here."

I frowned because I knew Esme was with _him._

For the past four days Jasper had tried to come in to see Bella. I told Carlisle and Charlie if they didn't want a homicide on their hands, they'd better not let him near her. Monday night, I guess, Jasper agreed to go to a rehab facility in Dorchester. I didn't think it mattered because the damage had already been done to my gorgeous angel.

She would have a scar by her hairline once they took the bandages off. Every time she pulls her hair up, she'll be reminded of her head slamming into a windshield. I would be reminded of how I almost lost her… Her leg was also all kinds of fucked up. According to the accident report, the guy that hit her was driving a Jag, the hood ornament hit just right, breaking her distal femur; fucking doctor speak. So that meant her thighbone was fucked and they had to put a rod in there. Her tibia and fibula were also fractured. She had years of physical therapy in front of her and would be lucky to achieve a walk without a limp after all the rehabilitation.

I didn't even want to get started on the police bullshit that was involved. It was being ruled as an accident. Jazz got charged with public intoxication and this past Tuesday morning he was ordered by the court to attend three months of in-patient rehab. That was to start next Monday and that piece of shit was trying his damndest to get in this room to see my angel. The man that hit Bella also decided not to press charges for the damages to his car. His kid was an intern at a stock firm in the North tower of the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001_._ When he found out Jazz was a War on Terror veteran he felt like he had been through enough.

No one was punishing Jasper. They were all just feeling sorry for him and coddling him. They said they weren't defending what he did, but everyone could have stopped him. I'm guilty of that too, but I had actually stepped in the direction of sending him away after Christmas. The only one that shocked me was Charlie. I thought Charlie had a soft side for him, but last night I heard yelling. When the night nurse came in, she told me Chief Swan fucking broke Jazz's nose. Son of a bitch tried to come in here and Charlie lost it. Bella not waking up yesterday kind of had him on edge, to be honest it had me on edge too, but I promised myself to stay calm for her. I needed to be supportive.

"Edward?" Alice asked concerned.

"Fine, I'll take a fucking shower," I mumbled, walking over to the drawers and grabbing a pair of sweats and a towel.

This was the second time I had been forced into a shower. I'd rather sit and wait for Bella to wake up. I made sure to make it quick because I couldn't be away from her longer than fifteen minutes. The ache of not having her near me was taking its toll.

I was drying my hair with the towel when I froze in the doorway. Alice was crying and talking quietly to Bella. Tanya, the morning shift nurse was moving around the room, checking Bell's IV bag. I silently propelled myself forward, standing next to her. Bella's eyes blinked heavily it looked like she was thinking and still tired.

"Gorgeous," I breathed as my voice quivered.

"Ed…ed…" she rasped, but was having trouble.

She was obviously scared; her heart machine was beeping like crazy. I dropped down to sit by her side, my hand cupping the left side of her face.

"Shhh…baby it's okay. You were in an accident, but you're going to be okay," I soothed.

Her hand slowly drifted up my arm as she placed her hand over mine. "Hurts," she mumbled.

"I know."

"I'm going to get Dr. Banner," Tanya informed us.

"Bella," Alice cried.

More blinks. _One. Two. Three. Four._ Bella's usually lively brown eyes looked blank. She was disoriented and confused. She was looking at Alice like she couldn't quite place her. Alice started crying more.

"Al… Ali?" she asked slightly winded.

Her eyes met mine with more blinks.

"Yeah Bell, that's Alice," I sighed.

"What is wrong with her?" Alice's shaky voice sniffled.

"Nothing's wrong. Fucking stop," I gritted before thumbing over to the chair. "Go over there."

"Edww," Bella's brow furrowed. "I can't?"

"Baby, can you talk?" she nodded and then blinked shaking her head.

"I, it's hard…to focus?" she whimpered, starting to sob like the mess I just sent to the corner of the room.

She was definitely showing signs of what Dr. Banner had warned us about and that made me feel helpless.

"Bella, I see you're awake," Dr. Banner said cheerfully with Charlie and Carlisle trailing in behind him.

She curled into me slightly, not wanting to move when he started to check her. She cried, burrowing closer to me. I was frozen with agony.

"Ed-war, no," she sniffed, tugging at the collar of my t-shirt.

"I'm going to have to sedate her," he sighed, moving to stick her IV drip with some shit.

Slowly her grasp on me loosened. I very gently moved her so she could lie on her back. Her right leg was still in the sling and I didn't want her doing more damage to it than what had already been done.

"What was that?" I choked out.

"That was Bella waking up," he explained. "It's a typical reaction for waking up the first time after surgery. Usually it takes a couple times for the patient to be completely aware of their surroundings. I would like to run another MRI and CT to make sure there are no complications."

"Will she react that way every time?" Charlie asked nervously.

"That depends if her emotions have been altered from the accident," he said.

"So her crying like that might be permanent?" I breathed.

"There is that possibility."

**1:55pm**

I leaned against the raised part of Bella's hospital bed and her head was level with my torso. I wanted to pull her to me, but was afraid I would hurt her in some way. It was just us in the room now; everyone went to a late lunch so I closed my eyes.

As I drifted off, I felt a light pressure on my chest, brushing back and forth. I tried to fight off the sleep, opening my eyes. Bella's hand rubbed over my heart, her head turned towards me, watching her hand.

"Hay," I whispered.

She didn't say anything, but kept up her calm movement over my heart. I slid down so I was eye level with her. She blinked, looking at me, but really, she was looking through me. I wasn't going to fucking cry even though I really wanted too. After a moment, she puckered her lips at me. I laid a few pecks on them.

"M-mmy head hurts," she murmured.

"You had surgery four days ago," I said kissing her again.

"Wwwhy?"

"What do you remember, gorgeous?"

"Our bed, us…it was mmmorning?" she closed her eyes. "Edwar-d wwhat happened?"

"There was an accident, uh Jasper was drunk… a car almost hit him. You pushed him out of the way…" I trailed off, watching her blank eyes register what I'd just said.

"Is he okay?"

I puffed out a breath. She was a fucking good person, better than me that's for sure. She pushed him to save his shitty life and now she's concerned about him.

"I'm worried about you," I rasped.

"My leg," she frowned, trying to shift on her side so she could lie facing me.

"Don't move," I warned softly, lightly caressing her battered cheek.

"It's bbad?"

"You'll get through it," I assured.

"You still lo-love mmme?"

"I'll always love you. Til the day I die," I smiled. "I'm not going anywhere."

"I feel scared," she frowned.

"About what Bell?" she shrugged, grabbing hold of my hand in hers.

"I www-ant to go home," she mumbled.

"That may be a while, gorgeous. Right now, you need to get better here and then we'll get to go home and lay in our bed."

"I'm not mme… I… Am I broken? I don't feel right," she trembled as I kissed her temple gently.

"Baby, there were a few surgeries…"

"Tell mmme?"

"Your head hit the windshield. There was swelling and clotting in your brain, they had to operate. Uh, you cracked two ribs, puncturing a lung but it didn't collapse, though. And your right leg was broken in four places. There's a rod in it from your knee to your thighbone…" I said shaking my head.

"I can't dance?" she whimpered.

I didn't care in that second that she had just been hit by a car and through God knows how many surgeries, I needed to hold her. I opened my arms and let her pull herself into them. Bella grasped my t-shirt collar so she could anchor herself to me. Her warm lips brushed against my jaw as I held her while she cried.

"I'm sorry," she repeated.

"Hey, hey no apologizing," I tisked.

"Aaare you okay?" she whispered.

"I'm all rainbows and sunshine," I teased, trying to get a smile.

She didn't smile. Instead she just stared blankly at me. Her fingers drifted into the hair at the nape of my neck as she ran them through it. She kissed my jaw and neck a few times, whispering she loved me.

"I love you, Bell," I murmured against her lips.

Bella quieted down and I finally hit the nurse call button. Emily, the afternoon shift nurse, came waltzing in a minute later. I liked her since she was around Charlie's age and didn't try to get in my jock like that bitch Tanya.

"Edward, we told you it isn't good for her if there are two of you in the bed," Emily sighed, shaking her head.

"No," Bella told her.

"Sweetheart, you're still healing," she soothed while checking Bella's stats.

"I-I am fine, he is okay here," she insisted, tightening her weak hold on me.

"Emily," I pleaded because I couldn't leave her when she was like this.

"Dr. Banner isn't going to like this," she warned.

"You're my favorite," I grinned.

"I bet I am," she snorted. "Tanya will be heartbroken."

I shrugged, holding my delicate angel. This nightmare was far from over, but to have Bella awake and talking lifted the weight sitting on my chest a little. We could only move forward and if she needed to lean on me for that to happen, then so be it.

Things were going to change. I knew they would the second I turned my phone on and saw all those missed calls four fucking days ago. No more letting Jazz in our lives. He wasn't going to come near her. He had almost gotten her killed once and I wasn't going to risk it again. He was out of control and I didn't care what any of them said, he couldn't be trusted. He was a fucking addict and it was time that he and everyone around him realized that.

**A/N: Well she's alive! I didn't really go into specifics in this chapter about Jasper and those four days for a reason. The rest of the story will be going back to Bella's POV and might be kind of a mind trip... Just saying! You people really hated anyone that wasn't Edward or Bella last chapter. Wow! This chapter was beta'd by Dolphin62598 and rainydays23, who are always great! Leave me your thoughts! LTW will update the weekend.**


	16. Chapter 16

**BPOV**

I blinked, trying to focus on Alice. She was always talking in sharp sounds that rung in my head, not always registering. She talking about this or that and I muddled through it all, trying to keep up. I had been awake for three weeks and stuck in this hospital bed every minute of it.

Headaches and leg pain were constant, but I tried to ignore it. Edward saw through it though, always accommodating me. I move, he moves. A faithful hover. I suddenly had gained a six foot two shadow.

"The girls sent these," Alice smiled, holding up a stack of pictures.

"Th-thank them for mmme?" I stumbled.

The doctor said the stammering and stumbling was from my brain trying to catch up with my speech and thoughts. I was in therapy for that and my leg. My leg I knew would never be the same again. I can feel it. Even if I couldn't, the angry scar on my thigh reminded me of it.

I'd been told what happened and even asked, but I couldn't remember a thing. I'd tried and tried, but I couldn't see beyond that morning, except for bits and pieces from that day. The dance studio and Aro, which I hadn't told anyone about, but I didn't remember all of our discussion. I only knew fragments.

"You okay?" Alice asked, breaking me from my thoughts.

I nodded weakly, hating that word._ Okay_. Everyone was concerned and I understood that, but to be treated like I would break or disappear at any moment was becoming frustrating.

"So have you given any thought to what you're going to do?" she asked casually.

"I'm nnnot leaving Bostonnn," I repeated.

My options were to go home with Charlie and have Sue Clearwater watch over me during the day while he worked. My other option was staying here with Edward. I was surprised that they even thought leaving was an option. Edward wasn't saying anything about my choices though; he just sat stoically by my side.

"Bell, maybe ya should go home," he mumbled a couple of days ago.

"Yyyou don't wwwant me?"

He let out a sharp breath, as if I just sucker punched him. Edward pulled me into his side so I was close and his lips met my forehead.

"I want ya always, gorgeous. I just don't want you settling here…"

"You don't wwant Jaspper nnnear," I finished.

"Ya truly want to stay here? In Boston?"

"I dddo. With you."

He cupped my face, giving me the sweetest kiss…

"Bella, what's wrong?" Alice soothed as I felt the sobs wrack my sore body.

I cried holding onto her forearm while she hugged me. She stroked my hair and held me close. This had become a thing with me. A thought or some overwhelming feeling would pass over me until I was crying or extremely frustrated. It was hard to control it, everything just hit me at once.

"Hay," Edward said, stepping into the room.

"She just started," Alice's voice broke and I noticed she was crying too.

She reluctantly let me go and was replaced with Edward's arms wrapping around me. He whispered things like, "I got ya, gorgeous," and I could feel myself calm.

The doctor told us that he had never seen a patient respond to a loved one when they would have an _episode _like I did with Edward. He was patient and gentle with me and not once did he treat me like the others did. They were suffocating at best, where he would give me my space and wait for me to ask for whatever I needed, all the while he was still my shadow.

"I th-think I'm okay," I sniffed.

"Of course yar okay," he smiled, lightly brushing my hair out of my face. "What's the number?"

"A six?" I blinked.

Edward started this system a couple of weeks ago. If I felt overwhelmed, I had to rank it or something, so he knew when I was having a rough time adjusting by asking how bad it was.

"A six? Oh no, I got to kiss it to a one," he teased, pecking kisses all over my face and neck.

My cries turned into giggles the more he kissed me. It went away and I didn't have a chance to register my confusion or fears.

"What now?"

"A on-one," I laughed, running my hands up his back.

"I thought so," he grinned, kissing my nose.

I settled into him as much as my leg would let me and stared up at his smiling face. Lately when I would look at his handsome face, I would feel this tug. It was hard to explain because before it was more overpowering. One day, when Edward had gone out to get coffee, Dr. Banner came in and I asked him about the feelings I was experiencing. He said that because of my meds my sex drive might be low and that at times I might want to initiate it, but then feel a sudden need to stop.

"What, Bell?"

"Alice, ca-can you get mmme some ice chips?"

"Sure," she smiled brightly before leaving the room.

"Ya gonna tell me why ya sending pix away?" Edward asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I-I wwant you to touch mme," I mumbled.

"Bella…" he trailed off.

I took his hand moving it under my shirt and squeezed it with my other hand over my shirt. "Pl-please?" I whispered, kissing his jaw.

"Gorgeous," he groaned, brushing his thumb over my nipple.

"Just pl-please," I pleaded.

I helped his hand out of my shirt guiding him into my shorts. "Touch," I whimpered, feeling the tug lighten. _No._

His fingers brushed my folds and he pulled his lips away from mine wearing a frown. He was sad… disappointed. I started to cry. I know I wasn't wet and the look on his face confirmed it.

"Baby, don't cry," Edward soothed. "The doctor told ya what the meds could do. It's okay. He also said it could be another instance of yar brain catchin' up."

"Mmmy brain doesn't wanttt yo-you," I wailed.

"No, no, no," he murmured. "Ya can't do this ta yar self, gorgeous."

He held me close, but avoided my ribs and I hitched my good leg up so I wasn't fully on my casted one. I blinked, hearing his voice but zoning out like I did with Alice earlier. The more I blinked, the more blurred things became. I felt Edward's hand stroking my face as he tried to bring me back.

"I-I wwant to gooo home," I sighed.

"Dr. Banner said if all things check out, ya'll be discharged tomarrow," he whispered, kissing my head near my angry scar.

"Wwe'll sleep in our be-bed?"

"Yeah and Alice has the couch."

I nodded knowing she was staying with us while Edward had to work. She had to watch me because I couldn't be alone. I would have therapists in and out as well, one for my leg and the other for my speech; they were also scheduling a psychiatrist.

"Nom-nom-nom," he said against my cheek. "I'll eat ya up, I love ya so."

I closed my eyes. I knew that but from somewhere, like everything else, it was blurred. I tugged at his shirt, still keeping my eyes shut. "Baby?" he whispered.

"I'll ea-eat you up, I-I lovve you soo," I repeated quietly.

"Ya know what that's from, gorgeous?" he asked encouragingly.

"I-I know it?" I felt my frown start, slowly opening my eyes.

"Ya've read the book to Liv," he hinted.

"I ca-can't place it," I sighed.

"_Where the Wild Things Are_," he smiled warmly, kissing my lips. "'And now," cried Max, "Let the wild rumpus start!'"

Giggling against his lips, I felt that familiar tug again. Edward lightly bit on my lower lip as he tugged gently.

"I ddo know th-that," I smiled.

"That's yar favorite part," he enthused.

I nodded slightly, feeling a sudden pinch at the top of my leg. As I shifted, Edward tried to figure out what was going on. I whimpered, trying to get it to stop. This pinch had happened a few times and usually a nurse runs in. I watched Edward reach over and hit my call button as I fell back against my pillow.

"I think it's her leg again," I heard him say.

"Okay Bella, you need another dose of morphine, sweetie." Siobhan, my day nurse, informed. "It should feel better in a moment."

"Thanks," he mumbled.

I felt a calm roll over me and Edward's thick words hit my ears. Many things are said as I hear the noises of two people talking, but it goes in and out, in and out. I see his face before my eyes close, his lips kiss my eyelids and I fall, fall, fall.

"I don't care what he's asking for, Dad."

"It's part of his program, Edward. He has to make amends with the people he's wronged."

"And what? He does that and they just fuckin' let him out?"

"No, I've talked to his doctors and they have told me Jasper has asked to stay in their six month treatment."

"He's hidin'."

"Bella asks about him…"

"She's on morphine most of the time… trippin' out of her mind or what's fuckin' left of it. Do ya not see what's happened to her her? She is barely here and farget about the cryin' or the fits. This is killin' me. Hell if it's not killin' her. She doesn't know what she's askin' about."

"Edward, she needs to heal…"

"Ya want ta know about healin' Dr. Cullen? I have that sleepin' girl ask me ta touch her. She wants love and she wants normal. She can't even get wet! I know she'd kill me two times over far sayin' that, but I can't have her cryin' like that… feelin' inadequate, like she did something ta displease me. Who do I have ta thank far that? That little rat yar tryin' ta protect is who."

"What do you want from me, Edward? I've been doing my best with all of this. Jasper is an addict and we were too late. I feel beyond responsible for what happened to Bella, but like I have told you for almost a month, I'm trying to fix what has ripped us all apart."

"I can't do this… I can't. This wasn't supposed to happen to us. She was supposed to graduate… walk at graduation. She has that degree, but what good is it now? Bella was going to marry me and we were going to have these fuckin' cute kids that look like her and dance around Alice's studio. We can't do any of that now. She can't do it. She has to put her life on hold…our life on hold because no one, not even myself, could step up and rip that god damn bottle out of Jazz's hands!"

I blink and snuffle at the talking. Just like before, I can hear it, but have an issue keeping up. I squeeze the hand in mine as it's lifted up and kissed. I see Edward's smile, but it's a lie. I see his tears catch on his cheek. He wipes his eyes quick with his fist as his lips move until they tap mine. He is sweet. He is Edward.

"Good morning," he murmured.

"Go-good mmorning."

"How are you feeling today, Bella?" Carlisle asked, kissing my cheek.

"Like I'm re-ready to go home."

"We'll see, kiddo," he smiled sadly. "Dr. Banner and Klein have to give you the green light."

"Bell, remember what we talked about? We want ya ta be ready ta come home. It will just be me and you, so we got ta use the luxury of the nurses, waitin' on yar beck and call," Edward teased, honking my nose.

"Oak-okay," I huffed.

"Ya wakin' up on the wrong side of the bed, gorgeous?" he asked, kissing my neck.

"No," I sighed.

"Uh-huh," he said skeptically.

"Bella, you should rest up if you want your scans to pass," Carlisle encouraged.

"Be-before I rest, can I-I go to the bath-room?" I asked quietly.

Edward though thought nothing of scooping me up. He had my shorts down and sitting before I knew it.

"Th-this must be love," I mumbled with a glare.

"Why's that?"

"I'm pe-peeing," I grumbled.

"Yeah, so what?" he shrugged.

"You're gr-gross."

"Like ya said, this must be love."

**A/N: This was late because I was sick for almost two weeks, but now I feel like I'm coming around. Allergies are a bitch! Thoughts? Concerns? How heartbroken I feel for them… Top-notch betas Dolphin62598 and rainydays23!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: A little bit of aggressiveness in this chapter with a lemon. Things get real.**

**BPOV**

I couldn't sleep so I let my fingers trace Edward's face as he slept. Nothing could wake him up so I knew it was okay. I had been home a week; a whole week of adjustment. Charlie left yesterday and Alice was still sleeping out in the living room since Edward had purchased a _Tempur-pedic_ mattress for us and put our old mattress out there for her.

I hated that everyone was structuring their lives around mine. Someone was always here hovering and I just wanted to have some time to myself, time to think and time to adjust on my own.

I wanted to grieve for the life I had and the one I could have had. I had to think of what I wanted my life to be now. Everyone told me to focus on my recovery, but I just wanted to think… dream of what life would be like again away from this bed and this apartment. I was imprisoned whether any one wanted to see it that way or not.

When my pointer finger touched his bottom lip, Edward playfully bit it. I giggled slightly as I watched him rub his sleepy eyes.

"What's up, gorgeous?" he rasped.

"Co-couldn't sleep," I whispered, running my hand up through his hair.

His completely naked body wrapped around me as he held me close. My palms rested on his back.

"I can think of some ways ta tire ya out," he grinned and nibbled on my neck.

"Al-alice is sleeping out the-there," I said trying to stall.

Every time we started, we never finished. The doctors said it was my medication that lowered my sex drive and if we really wanted to, we could get lubricant to try. I didn't like that idea; I just wanted us to be able to enjoy each other naturally.

"Bell," he groaned, rubbing himself against my thigh.

"Pl-please," I started to cry, hating myself even more. "I'm so-sorry."

"Shh," he soothed, kissing my tears away. "Bella, it's okay. Yar okay, baby."

"I'm not ok-kay," I wailed. "I'm a fr-freak!"

He held me tighter, letting my fists hit his chest. Alice knew better than to come rushing in here. She learned that on our first night back. A naked Edward yelling at her to get out was enough for her to know not to come in here again.

"I hate th-this," I pounded on him with all of my energy.

He just let me get it all out. Over the past month he had proven he was good at comforting me, but it had gotten to the point where I was sick and tired of hearing reassuring things. I wanted to be allowed to hit and hate the situation I was in. It was this irrational rage that wracked my body. I couldn't control it. It controlled me.

After a while, all the fight I had in me slowly dissipated and was exchanged with exhaustion. My leg was starting to throb from thrashing into Edward's. I felt nothing but hatred for myself… for my behavior. I didn't want to ask him for a pill even though it was what I needed. I needed to sit through the pain. I only caused it myself. It was my punishment.

Edward started to pull away from me and my nails started to dig into his back to keep him place.

"I'm goin' ta get water," he murmured.

"You're go-going to leave me," I sniffled.

"I'm not goin' ta leave ya, Bella," he sighed.

When I got like this, I told him to leave. I didn't want him. He never listened. He loved with his whole heart and would tell me he was never leaving me and I was stuck with him. It was the other way around; he was stuck with me, this great burden. This time though I felt as though this was the last straw and he would see it as that.

His lips found my skin. He kissed my eyes, cheeks, lips, jaw and ears. Very gently and very Edwardly. I sobbed feeling the pain of my actions. Instant guilt rolled over me in waves. I started choking on my sobs and Edward's forehead rested against mine as he whispered words of encouragement.

I'm guessing it was the exhaustion that finally won out because I stopped crying. Blink, blink, blinking up at Edward. His blurred face held hurt and sadness until all I saw was black.

I awoke to talking outside our bedroom door. Somehow, I rolled over until I was lying on my stomach. My hair covered my face as my head lay on Edward's pillow.

"Alice, leave her alone," I heard Edward's muffled voice say.

"You're just going to let her sleep the day away?"

"She had a rough night," he sighed.

"Oh, I heard," Alice said dryly.

"Edward," I called, remaining on my stomach.

"Gorgeous," he said, sitting on our bed.

I felt the weight of him hovering over me, his hands pushing my hair out of my face and his lips kissing mine.

"What time is it?"

"Eleven," he murmured, kissing the shell of my ear.

"I-I should be up." I didn't bother to move. Instead I just laid there, looking sideways at him.

"The physical therapist will be here around one," he informed me, still playing with my hair.

"Will yo-you be here?"

"I'll be at the bar," he said carefully.

Careful, always careful. Tip toe around Bella.

"Baby, ya know if I could, I would be here."

I didn't say anything. I wanted him to feel the pain I felt. I was everyone's burden. They had no choice but to take care of me. They blamed Jasper and felt obligated to help me. Sullen faces, sullen moods, sullen Cullen's all around.

Blinking, I directed my stare at Edward and his jaw clenched at my lack of participation in the conversation. I did this when I didn't want to talk. I made them uncomfortable with my blinking and silence. There was only numbness coursing through my body. I didn't feel the need to care.

His thumb stroked my cheek. He needed to touch me, he needed the reassurance that I was still alive. But was this living? I felt like I was drowning half the time in the thoughts that weren't my own, thoughts that were completely foreign to me. I had never felt these things until now. They all wanted me medicated to stop it, but if it was stopped what would happen?

I would be the shell of Bella Swan. I am the shell of Bella Swan with the nasty angry scars of doing a good deed. I wasn't going to let Jasper die, but I felt, in a lot of ways, that I died that night. The essence of what I once was evaporated when I pushed Jasper out of the way, only to be replaced by these scars and tears.

I still couldn't remember anything except for that morning. I was lying cuddled into Edward. We'd had sex that morning and I remember what being loved felt like. He hadn't changed, he still loved me that fiercely. Before I was acutely aware of it; now it was like everything else floating around me. Just a hold over emotion from the life I had lost that night.

"Can I have a kiss?" he asked, laying his head on my pillow so we were face to face.

I puckered and scooted my head on the pillow, meeting his awaiting lips. Like everything else, his kiss was cautious. I flipped myself over until I was lying on my back and took his hand leading it up my shirt until he was squeezing my breast. His thumb brushed my nipple. I was giving him the kind of closeness he craved from me.

"I love ya," his voice gritted out against my mouth. "Ya need ta remember how in love wit ya I am."

I squeezed his hand that was under my shirt, feeling the familiar tingle of what I used to feel when he touched me in this intimate way.

"Fuck me," I said blankly.

He stopped squeezing me, staring down into my eyes.

"Fuck me," I repeated.

He laid his head on my shoulder in defeat before pulling my shirt over my head. I pulled at his too until it was off. Edward let me fumble with the button on his pants until I was tugging them down. I was still in my panties since it was hard to get them on and off because of the cast. Seeing my eagerness or desperation, he ripped them off.

"Condom," he mumbled, cupping my neck as he kissed me.

It was the only form of birth control we had. The doctor had explained that with all my medications I was taking the pill would be less effective. We didn't need a surprise pregnancy on our hands.

Edward reached over in his drawer, pulling one out. I helped him roll it on and noticed how easy it was for him to get hard. Catching his eyes, I saw the wariness that they held. He wanted to see if I was wet or if we would need the lubricant. I turned my head away, fighting the war that was brewing.

I felt his fingers stroke my folds and I knew by the breath of air he let out that I wasn't ready for him.

"Fuck me," I whispered.

I knew it came out broken because he was being hesitant. I grabbed his face giving him a watery glare.

"If you love me you will do this," I choked out.

"Bella," he croaked.

"Edward."

He reached in the drawer again, coating his cock in what we needed to complete this. My broken leg rested flat on the bed as my other one hooked around him. My arm tightly wrapped around his neck as his sunk into me. As we started out, his thrusts were slow and tender. I didn't want him to fuck me to feel pain; I wanted to feel something other than what was going through me.

"Harder," I gasped.

"Baby," he murmured.

"Fuck me harder," I cried.

Instantly his hands went to my hips, pressing them into the mattress. He pushed up, hitting the right place and I felt something for a second but then it disappeared. I moaned each time he repeated his movements. I clawed at his back, trying to arch myself up, but his hands held me in place.

"This is what ya want, right? Ya want ta hurt… ya want me ta hurt ya," he gritted.

I felt him soften and pull out, not able to look at me as he fell on his back. His arm covered his eyes as his panting slowed. I started to cry, inching away from him until his free arm hooked around my middle, stopping my movement.

"Ya will never ask that of me again, understood?"

I nodded heaving sobs.

"Understood?" he roared.

My head started pounding and I didn't want to be here anymore. I didn't want to be this person either. I wanted everything to go back to that morning before the accident. The happiness, the love.

"God," he broke, curling around me. "I can't do this, Bell. I'm not as strong as I thought I was."

His body shook with mine. We clung to one another. If this was us at our breaking point, I couldn't see past this. He was hurting as much as I was.

"We need ta see someone. I can't live with myself seeing ya like this."

"Are wwwe breaking up?" my lip quivered.

"Stop," he commanded in my ear.

"Mmmy head hur-hurts," I whimpered.

"Ugh God, hold on," he sighed, placing a kiss to my temple.

He left our bed stumbling around the room to the bathroom, emerging with my pill bottle and a glass of water. He smoothed the hair sticking to my face out of his way and helped me take my medication.

"Baby, we're not breaking up," he told me. "I can't have us living like this though. We need ta get better, okay?"

"I hate th-that word… be-better."

Edward lifted my chin with his finger. "I get ya don't feel good and hate anythin' positive now, but that's all I have ta hold on ta, that and hope. Please, let me have those things."

"I love you," I whispered, kissing the corner of his mouth.

"I love ya too, Bell," he said, gathering me in his arms.

I blinked until I couldn't keep my eyes open. Black filtered in and right now the darkness was the only place I felt safe.

**A/N: Are you still there? You guys read it imagine what I felt writing it, I think it maybe depressed me a little bit! I want to thank you all for reading and some of you for sharing you own stories of recovery. Hi, to all the new readers! Let me know your thoughts! Dolphin62598 and rainydays23 are the best betas EVER! Until next time!**


	18. Chapter 18

**BPOV**

"Hey Bella, how's it going today?" Felix, my physical therapist, greeted.

He had been coming to the house for the past few days. At first, I wasn't sure what to make of him. He was overly optimistic and had the kind of outgoing personality that made him slightly intimidating.

Edward grumbled when he first met him; I'm pretty sure he didn't like me having a guy PT. I didn't think he had anything to worry about. I definitely wouldn't try anything and I was almost certain Felix was gay.

"Go-good," I frowned.

Nothing was good though. Edward kissed my head before leaving, but hadn't said much to me since last night. Alice had even tried to grill me on what happened saying, "I heard him yelling at you". She wouldn't get it though. I was pushing Edward to his breaking point and he had every right to yell.

"So how's your mobility been this week?" He smiled a bright white smile.

"I don't re-really know. Ed-Edward insists on carrying me everywhere," I blinked.

He wrote something down and his smile faltered for a split second, but quickly was back in place.

"Okay, today we're going to talk for a little bit about goals. You're going to give me some of yours and I'm going to give you some of mine. Hopefully we'll be able to meet at a middle ground and get you where you need to be."

"I ne-need to beeee walking," I scowled.

"See that's a goal," he said, writing it down on his paper.

"I need to be dan-dancing," I pushed again.

This time his easy laid-back façade disappeared and sympathy washed his features.

"What have your doctors said about that?"

"Nev-never going to hap-happen," I blinked, feeling tears flood my eyes.

I brushed at my eyes to try to stop the tears, but after last night… everything was still too raw and ripped open. At times like these, when I was this exhausted and weighed down, my emotions usually won out. The dull pain in my leg right now wasn't helping either. Once the exercises started it would only get worse. I would only get worse.

"I'm not going to make any promises, but with enough therapy I think we can get you back in the studio. You might not be a ballerina, but you will be able to teach and do basic moves. Bella, if you really want something you are going to have to stay positive and work for it."

"What if… what if my brain makes that difficult for me? I wa-want to get better, back to being myself, but I can't see who I was. Everything is blurred and tangled."

"That's where me and the rest of your support system comes in. You have two options really: pity yourself or do something about it."

I let his words register for the rest of our session. The searing and pinching pain that occurred with each movement Felix made me do started about a half hour into my therapy. By the time we were finished, I was hysterically crying as Alice held me.

"I can see if we can get her pain med dosage uped," Felix offered.

"She doesn't want to become dependent on them," Alice said to him while stroking my hair.

"I'll be here on Friday," he murmured, rubbing my head.

I nodded because what else could I do? I didn't want the numbing pain, but when Edward came home, I knew he would make me take something. After last night, I was just waiting for him to tell me that Charlie was on his way to take me back to Forks.

"Bella, please stop crying," Alice soothed.

"My le-leg hurts," I sobbed.

"Sweetie, I know, but Felix is trying to help you. We just want you to get better. You know we all love you."

"How? How ca-can you guys lo-love me? Wh-what I be-become?" I hiccupped.

"You are still Bella to us. This doesn't define you," she said sternly.

After a few minutes of clinging to my best friend, I laid against her with my head on her shoulder. My tears finally stopped falling and I blinked the remaining ones away.

"Fe-Felix wanted to talk about go-goals today," I sighed.

"Oh yeah?"

"Can, can I share some th-that I want to com-complete?"

"Definitely," she whispered.

"I want to be able to wa-walk correctly… I want to be able to sp-speak without stut-stuttering or having diff-difficulty… I want to…I want to be able to make lo-love to Ed-Edward without help," I took a deep breath.

Other than Edward, no one knew about our sex life. Well maybe except for the doctors. Edward didn't want to talk about it; I think because he was embarrassed or something. But this was Alice and we talked about this kind of stuff from time to time. She knew what it was like with Jake and Emmett and I knew about her conquests.

"Bella, what do you mean help?" she asked quietly.

I buried my wet face against her neck for a second. "My meds are fu-fucking me up. The doc-doctors said it might be harder for meee to get aro-aroused." This was humiliating.

"Is this why he was yelling? Was he forcing…"

"Nooooo," I yelled, stopping her right there.

I gripped her arms, feeling the wind knocked out of me. How could she think that of Edward? I was the fuck up in all of this, not him. He had been nothing but patient.

"He did noth-nothing wrong… I made him…do stuff," I finished.

"Bella," her voice covered in pity.

"I'm not fin-finished with my goals yet," I stopped her again.

"I want to marry Ed-Edward and have bab-babies with him… Al, I need to get better. I need those things to become my reality."

"You know Edward will wait for you."

"Will he?"

I was starting to doubt that more and more. Maybe I should have left with Charlie. I might have been able to come back here refreshed or something. I also could possibly have stayed there and met someone else, one of the rez boys. I would never love anyone like I do Edward.

"You know the answer, Bella. How about I get dinner started?"

"Can I ha-have a salad?"

"Of course," she smiled.

"You have a cl-class tonight?"

"I do and then I was going to go see…" she stopped and turned her head from me.

"Jas-Jasper," I finished.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm no-not," I said squeezing her hand. "I might not re-remember the accident, but I know I did what I did for a re-reason."

"Do you? Why would you risk your life like that?"

"Why wou-would I let him kill himself? He was obvi-obviously drunk and I was aware of my sur-surroundings…"

"Bella…"

"I can't hate Jas-Jasper and Ed-Edward needs to learn that he can't either."

As much agony as I was in, I knew that the last thing Jasper needed was to feel our hatred and negativity towards the situation. What mattered was that he was getting help and we would all need to support him just like everyone was me. If he could stay sober, that could mean a better life for him and his daughter.

After she made me dinner, I had Alice help me into the living room via my wheelchair. We only used it if Edward wasn't home to get me around, but like Felix had said repeatedly t I need to get used to my crutches and start walking.

"You'll be okay?"

"Ed-Edward said he wa-was on his way, right?"

"He did," she nodded hesitantly and I knew Edward probably gave her hell about it.

"Go, yo-you'll be late for class," I insisted, taking a small bite of my salad.

With a huff and a kiss to my head, she was gone. I was alone. The television played, but I couldn't make out what was on from the blur. Knowing Alice, she put it on Jersey Shore or some crap. I stared at my salad, spearing a cherry tomato doused in light ranch dressing. I separated the things in my salad, croutons in one corner, cherry tomatoes in the opposing side, chunks of salmon in the other and cucumbers in only corner left.

I used to love cucumbers, but now the texture bothered me. It drove me insane since my tongue was sensing it there and my brain rejecting it. I was barely tolerating the tomatoes, which were the key to my salad. I had to remind myself I had to eat though.

I heard the door slam and a blur of Edward shuffle into the kitchen. I don't think he noticed me. I heard the fridge door opening and closing and then the microwave start up. I took a bite of a chunk of salmon and chewed slowly.

"Bell," he yelled until he saw me mid chew.

His hood was up on his head and I saw faint bruising around his eye. He held a Tupperware container of mac and cheese.

"So Alice fuckin' left," he snipped.

I didn't answer him. I wasn't going to argue with him. I wanted to eat and then go back to my room. I decided to pick out a crouton to eat. The crunch and grind of my teeth filled my ears.

"So yar not fuckin' talkin' ta me?" he spat out incredulously.

"I don-don't want to fi-fight," I shrugged.

"That's funny. Seems like all ya do lately is fight," he snorted spitefully.

I shoveled in a mouthful of salmon before dropping my container on the coffee table. I slowly started to wheel my self to our room.

"Go hide."

I turned the chair so I could face him. "Ha-have you been drink-drinking?"

He smirked nastily, sticking his pointer and thumb out before stuffing his mouth with mac and cheese. I went to ignore him again.

"I went ta the back room tanight and walked in on yar 'I love ya' guy, poundin' inta my baby sista. Who the fuck does he think he is? I had ta set that piece of shit straight," he shrugged.

I let out a shaky breath. I wanted to be there for him and if I were somewhat whole I would have been, but all of this was too heavy. He was unhappy because of me.

"Then yar bitchy bestie leaves ya here by ya self ta go spend time with the guy who ruined yar life. Everyone is so selfish around here," he widened his arms out.

I choked out a cry entering our bedroom, closing the door behind me. The short trip exhausted me, but this Edward was crushing me. I placed both my palms on the bed carefully pushing up and positioned myself on the bed how Felix showed me. I panted and grunted until I was lying down.

I didn't see or hear him open the door, but he stood in the doorway with tears rolling down his cheeks. His inner battle was clearly raging inside of him.

"Come here," I breathed.

He tugged off his hoodie and I could see his shirt had been ripped in his scuffle with Em. Edward stalked toward the bed and crawled in beside me. I drew myself in closer to him until we were wrapped in each other. He lips found my head, kissing my scar.

"Who ar-are you really mad at? Me, for risk-risking my life or Jas-Jasper, for putting me in dang-danger?"

He was quiet before he answered. "When I see ya struggle, I get mad at you. ya're here because of what ya did," he cried.

"Would you have hon-honestly wanted him to die-die?"

"Ya wouldn't be here with a broken brain and a rod in yar leg."

"I'm not go-going to say I re-regret saving him," I sighed, brushing his tears away. "Felix made me set go-goals today."

"Oh, yeah?"

"I want us to get back to us," I whispered.

"I'm sorry I got drunk," he murmured.

"At least for no-now, can we become a no drinking house?"

"Yeah," he agreed, kissing my eyelids and then the tip of my nose.

"I love you."

"I love ya, Gorgeous. I'm going ta try ta be betta."

"Me too."

I realized I was happy Felix set goals for me because for the next couple months, it was crucial I complete them.

**A/N: I know this is depressing, but this is recovery. The next couple chapters might be getting better, yo! Okay, tell me what you think. Big thanks to Dolphin62598 and rainydays23 for betaing and helping pull through this with me!**


	19. Chapter 19

**EPOV**

I watched her straining and whimpering as she tried to balance herself on the therapy bar. I managed to go a month and a half without having to see this. I didn't want to see her struggling. For almost three months, that was all she had been doing and I couldn't watch.

I kept my distance most of the time and then held her at night as she slept. Her therapy at home ended once she was more mobile on crutches and then Felix moved her to a facility that specialized in water therapy. Today, though, she was working on the bar, trying to walk with just her brace on.

Felix called and told me I had better get my ass here if I knew what was good for me. I would have loved to see that pansy ass try, but he was right, I needed to be here. Bella stopped and looked at me as she panted for a second.

"You're doing great, gorgeous," I encouraged with the best smile I could give.

This, in truth, was killing me. My excuse was the bar was swamped, which was true. After the night I caught Rosie and that bastard fooling around, my baby sister up and quit. It was the summer and business was booming. I ended up having to hire two bartenders. If I had wanted to, I could have made time for my girl, but I couldn't bear the pain she has endured due to meeting me.

She was getting better though; I saw it when I came home at night. Her speech was almost back to where it was before the accident. Her emotional breakdowns were few and far between. I could see a constant sadness in her eyes though, a sadness that I wasn't doing anything to help.

I watched her shuffle forward and wince at the pain in her leg. She turned, falling into her wheelchair. Felix glared at me, motioning toward where Bella sat with her eyes closed panting and crying. I took that as my cue to kneel beside her and stroke her sweaty hair back.

"Baby, you did real well," I murmured as I kissed her.

She buried her face in the side of my neck and nodded. "So well," I whispered, holding her close.

I felt the familiar pain in my chest well up. My guilt had become a key factor in this relationship. I saw it and I knew Bella saw it, but she chose to keep her mouth shut about it.

My dad was helping Bella into his car since mine was in the shop. I felt a hand clamp down on my shoulder, glaring over my shoulder I saw Felix.

"You do get why I insisted you be here? She needs a stable support system. You are not the man she has told me about."

"You don't know anything about me," I growled.

"I know you make yourself very scarce when Bella is around…"

"Again you know nothing about me."

"I know enough."

"You try watching the thing you love most in this world almost die. You try and watch her struggle on a day-to-day basis. Her thoughts are ruined, her emotions are ruined… she cries so fucking much and there's not a goddamn thing you or anyone else can do about it," I roared, pinning Felix against the wall with my forearm.

"Did you ever stop to think you're struggling just as much as her? You can't deal with everything on your own either, Edward," he rasped out and I let up staring at him.

The truth was he was absolutely right, but what was I going to do about it? We were stuck in limbo and neither on of us knew how to escape it. If I kept things up, I would be as bad as Jasper, losing the last bit of control I had over my life.

Slowly, I backed away from Felix. He nodded at me while rubbing at his neck. What had I become? Asking this question to myself the whole way out to the car, I settled in the back seat with Bella.

"Thank you for coming with m-me," she said quietly as she looked down.

I saw my dad watching us from the mirror, knowing we had our fair share of fights over the past few months. He was surprised I came today; I saw it on his face when I helped Bella outside this morning.

"I'm going to start making more of an effort…"

"R-really?" she blurted out.

"Uh… yeah? That is if you want me there, gorgeous."

"Yeah, I'd love that," she smiled shyly, looking out her window.

The rest of the ride Bella sunk into my side, quietly playing with our entwined fingers. Her head fell to my shoulder and I just let her have this peaceful moment. We weren't arguing and she wasn't crying or upset. It was a rare moment of peace in our lives of constant chaos.

When Carlisle pulled up in front of our apartment, I gently maneuvered her so I could get out and help her. Carlisle stopped me for a second.

"I wanted to let you know no one will be at the house in Nantucket this week," he informed.

"Is that some kinda hint?" I asked gruffly.

"No, it was a suggestion that maybe you two would like a nice vacation, a chance to reconnect," he shrugged.

"I'll talk to Bella about it."

"I hope you know how happy you made her going today. She usually doesn't bounce back this quick after a session."

He would know because he and Ma had been driving her for weeks. My Uncle even threatened to take the bar away from me if I didn't step up and be a man. He spewed some bullshit that she was my woman and I needed to support her.

"Okay and thanks for taking us," I mumbled, shutting off the conversation.

Bella's door was opened and she was waiting for me to help her out of the car. I let her wrap an arm around me as she got out. She lightly placed a kiss on my chin and smiled up at me. "Thanks," she murmured.

Dad gave her a hug and a quick kiss on the head before leaving us on our own once again. I had the rest of the day off and Bella knew it, so I had no excuse to leave. Alice had left two weeks ago, going back to her apartment. She was a great help, but she was just as protective of Bella as I was and it wasn't good for us to be around each other.

"Can w-we watch a movie?" Bella asked as I unlocked the door.

"Sure, gorgeous," I smiled. "Want me to make lunch or order in?"

"We have food here so if you want can you m-make lunch?"

"Yeah, want a club?"

"Sounds good," she nodded, hobbling her way to the couch on her crutches.

I got to making us club sandwiches, making sure I was working on the adjacent counter that had a window peeking into our living room. When I was home, I made it an effort to watch her at all times. It almost like I was afraid that if I wasn't watching she would disappear.

"So I was thinking we could go up to the family house in Nantucket. What do you say?" I asked peeking up from the tomato I was cutting.

"Like a vacation?" she asked hopefully and I knew this was something she would love.

"Yeah," I grinned.

"Just me and you?"

"Of course," I nodded.

"This will be our first vacation," she breathed, giving me the most breathtakingly beautiful smile I had seen in a long time.

"We can do what ever you want, gorgeous."

"Okay, when are we going?"

"I can call my uncle and see if we can leave tonight. It's like a two and a half our drive. With me not there he can probably get Rosie to fill in."

"Is she still not t-talking to you?"

"Pretty much," I shrugged.

She frowned for a moment and I could see the wheels turning in her head. I watched as she reached forward for the remote.

"I know I can't swim, but can w-we go out by the water?"

"It's a small beach house near the shore. Carlisle's family actually owns the whole street."

"The whole street?"

"Yeah, you know Irish Catholic family with nine kids."

"Nine kids?" her eyes were bugging.

"That's why I've got so many nosy aunts and uncles. His dad was into politics, even worked on the Kennedy Campaigns in the sixties," I shrugged.

"That's im-impressive," Bella smiled.

This had been the most I shared with her in a long time. We were communicating with words and it felt good. I finished up with our clubs and sat beside Bella as I ate.

"I'm really excited," she murmured. "It will be just us all week?"

"Yeah, Dad told me it's empty this week," I grinned, pulling her closer to me.

When Mom wasn't helping me out with Bella, she took Liv and Rose down to the house. Since we were kids, Esme spent most of the summer with us down in Nantucket. Dad used to call Nantucket Isle Esme because we were essentially on an island. When we first moved in with the Cullen's, I actually believed that's what it was called.

"Me and you," she whispered, looking down.

I lifted her chin with my finger and captured her lips with mine. "I love you," I whispered back. I had to smile when I felt her lips turn upward. I shouldn't have kept my distance like I had been. She needed me and I had failed her.

"This tr-trip will be good," she told me. "The perfect summer getaway."

"Are you used to vacations?"

"Not really," she paused. "When Renee lived with us she would take me on trips with her company. I only stayed in the room th-though. My dad really didn't have the extra expenses for vac-cations."

"Well, I'm going to make sure this is the best vacation," I promised, kissing her nose.

She giggled and my chest tightened. It had been so long since I'd heard that sound. I closed my eyes, thinking about all the bullshit we'd been through and how much of an idiot I was.

Bella was alive and had been here this whole time. I was given a second chance with her. This is our second chance. She could have died, but God let her live. She made me want all of these things and when the going got tough, I broke. I had to repair the damage my distance had caused and make things more about her or more so us.

"I love you, Edward," she sighed, burying into my side.

"Bella, I want you to know I'm going to try harder. Be here more if I can. I want to take you to therapy and see if I can work my schedule so I can be home earlier…"

"You do your best," she argued quietly.

_Hardly._

I tipped her head up again and her brown eyes locked with mine. "I've been nothing but an asshole and you've been too forgiving, gorgeous."

"We've been through a lot and we both have coped in our own ways…" she trailed off.

"I can't lose you," I finally said.

"And you don't have to."

**A/N: Don't hate on Edward for feeling how he is feeling… And we'll get to see them on vacation next chapter. The holiday had everything backed up; I did finish this on time though. As always, share your thoughts! Dolphin62598 and rainydays23 were my awesome betas for this, so huge thanks to them.**


	20. Chapter 20

**BPOV**

I had to adjust on the squishy sand beneath me for what seemed like the fourth time. It wasn't completely uncomfortable on my leg, just weird. I never thought that taking Edward to my therapy session with Felix would lead to this vacation. Edward had been distant and I knew I let him keep his distance from me.

I think most of all I was afraid of where we were headed. I even called Dad and talked to him about me moving back home. I didn't tell Edward and I'm pretty sure he wouldn't have even noticed, but when Alice went back to her place I started to feel like I was actually alone.

Dad kept saying he would come and get me, but something in me kept putting it off. Then yesterday happened and now we were lying on the beach in our swimsuits. He did a complete one-eighty.

I smiled as I looked down at him. Edward's worn Red Sox's cap rested over his face as he napped. Though we were under the huge umbrella he set up, I made sure we applied sun block every hour. I hated burning and Edward was starting to turn pink. He started to shift and moved his cap to sit backwards on his head.

"Ya okay, gorgeous?" he squinted at me as he sat up.

"Yeah, the sa-sand feels weird," I explained.

He started to play with the string of my bikini bottoms. "Wanna go in?"

"Not really. I just need to get used to it," I sighed.

"Want me ta take off the brace? We can go in the water for a bit?"

When I called and told Felix about this last minute trip, he gave me his full support. He also told me it was okay to take off my brace if I wanted to go in the water. My x-rays last week had shown that everything from the surgeries was healing nicely. The only thing that bothered me was the nasty scar covering almost my whole leg.

"Okay," I murmured, looking down after feeling really self-conscious in the moment.

I watched Edward unhook the straps of my brace very carefully and gently remove it from my leg. I winced from the dull ache starting to pulse within it.

"Baby, did I do something wrong?" he asked as he cupped my face.

"No," I breathed out, closing my eyes. "Just takes a bit for me to get used to it being off."

"Maybe this was a bad idea," he mumbled.

I tugged on his arm getting his attention. "I wan-want us to have fun. We need fun. Please take me swimming?"

His broken green eyes were filled with want. "Can I kiss ya?"

I sat forward as best as I could and kissed him purposefully. "You never need to as-ask," I told him seriously.

"I don't want to cross any…" he started before I stopped him.

"With you there are no lines, Edward. I'm yours for as long as you want me here. I know how hard everything was for us after the accident, but if we're ever going to truly work we need get over all the bullshit."

"How'd ya get so strong?" he asked as his voice broke.

"Therapy," I answered honestly.

I was tired of the crying and the fogginess. My surgeons from the hospital referred me to some excellent PTSD and post-neural surgery therapists. I had medications switched and dosages altered; I even had been weaned off some of the medications I had been on.

"I can't let what happ-happened define me, Edward. You can't either. I see now how much this has affected you," I said, catching his eyes with mine.

"It kills me that it was ya that got hurt. Everyday I wake up and I know yar hurt. I want ta hurt for ya," he murmured.

I gently grabbed his face and rested my forehead against his. His eyes closed and I felt a shuddered breath leave him.

"Take me swimming," I said against his lips.

He kissed me back, nodding. I slipped my sunglasses back on since we were leaving the shade and wrapped my arms around his neck. He carefully cradled me to him as he lifted me.

"Ya, okay?"

"Yeah," I smiled, biting my lip. A sudden bubble of excitement consumed me.

It had been months since we had been like this and suddenly this trip was giving me hope; a hope that Edward and I could overcome that darkness.

"Ready?" he grinned as I looked down at the water hitting his feet.

"Don't lea-leave me in suspense," I giggled, brushing my nose against his.

He moved forward slowly until he was in the water elbow deep. The water was great since we had hardly any waves to fight and it wasn't too shockingly cold from the recent heat wave.

"How ya likin' this wata, gorgeous?"

I kissed him quick. "It feels good on my leg."

"Things are gonna be changin' for the betta, okay? I promise ya B. I'm gonna be what ya need," he rasped.

"You're too hard on yourself."

"And yar too forgivin'."

His head leaned down, sucking in my bottom lip. A breath shuddered out of me when his arm that was under my legs left me so I was floating and his hand came up to cup my breast. We groaned at the same time against each other's mouths.

"I've missed you," I whispered shyly, bring my hand down to stroke his erection.

"Do you wanna?" he paused, taking a gulp. "Have ya eva had sex in the ocean?"

I shook my head, looking up at him through my lashes. "How would we, um what if we get caught?"

"Private beach and no one's here during the week," he smirked before untying his trunks.

I watched him slide them off and throw them as they landed in the sand with a thwap.

"Leave the top on; we'll just work with the waist down," he winked.

He untied the side of my bikini bottoms throwing them where his trunks laid. I let my face hit Edward's chest and mumbled against his pec. "I can't be-believe we're doing this."

"Believe it," he laughed, pulling me away so he could see my face. "How we gonna do this?"

I treaded for a second before hooking my good leg around his hip. He grinned, moving forward as I wrapped my arms around his neck. I felt how hard he was against my stomach and slowly brought my lips to his.

"Mmm, ya feel good, gorgeous," he groaned.

I pulled up a little further, balancing myself on his hip and I felt a slight breeze on my ass telling me I was exposed. Edward's hands came down resting on my ass as he held me closer.

"The leg okay?" he asked concerned.

I felt my foot hit in between his calves. My bum leg was just there, nothing started to hurt yet.

"It's good," I nodded. "Um, can move a bit further out."

"Ya don't want yar ass out for all the world ta see, huh?"

"No," I shook my head. "Only you get to see it."

"I agree with that," he sighed, leaning down to kiss me again.

He moved us until the water was hitting my lower back. I shifted against him as the tip of him brushed my clit.

"Fuck," he choked out.

I kissed him again, feeling the yearning that I was used to when we were intimate like this. I moved again, tugging my fingers at the nape of his neck to coax his head down. "I want you inside me," I whispered in his ear.

"Don't have ta tell me twice," he said while he slowly entered me.

I cried out, tightening around him. It really had been too long, but he felt great. The doctors believed my low sex drive had been caused by my medication, not my head injury. Since being switched to a different one, I noticed how wet I would become when I saw Edward changing for work or coming out of the shower. I hoped that this trip would be a stepping-stone for our intimacy.

"The water makes this feel weird, but a go-good weird," I blurted while he moved within me.

"I would go fasta maybe, but I don't think I can," he panted and I had to giggle because it was like we were fucking in Jell-o.

"Jesus, why ya laughing?" he laughed too.

"It's… it's like slow motion fucking," I moaned as he thrusted and angled me back. He hit a good spot.

"And not to mention you're wearing sunglasses," he snorted, balancing me more on the side my leg was hitched on.

His hand made its way down, rubbing my clit and I knew I wasn't going to last long. My head lulled on his shoulder and his face buried in the crook of my neck. We stayed that way while we met each other's thrusts. His finger rubbed my clit and I brought my fingers down to brush the underside of his balls. He almost lost it right then and I felt triumphant.

"I'm not gonna last thanks ta ya," he mumbled against my neck.

He pinched my clit causing me to shriek and see stars at once and as I contracted around him, he lost his shit too. His teeth sunk into my shoulder as he yelled my name. I knew that this was exactly what we needed. Our moment of pure bliss was ruined when Edward felt something that wasn't me brush his leg.

He literally squealed adjusting me so my leg would be okay. He ran us back over to the blanket where I covered my lower half with a towel. Edward gave me a quick peck before he cupped himself and ran back to our discarded suits. I giggled the whole time he held himself.

"Aren't you going to pu-put them back on?" I asked as he lifted the towel and scooted closer to me.

"And have sand in my crack, not ta mention around my balls. Nah thanks."

"Nah, thanks?" I mocked in a Boston accent.

"Oh no, with ya starting that shit," he laughed, cupping my boob and biting my bottom lip.

"I love you," I said against his lips with a smile.

"I'm gonna do better, Bell," he murmured. "I love ya and I've been shitty at showin' it, but ya'll know yar loved."

I kissed him again. "I know you love me, Edward."

He pulled on the string of my top, successfully removing it. We took it upon ourselves to start round two on the beach this time.

A couple hours later I sat at the counter with my leg propped up on the opposing chair, watching Edward make us dinner. We decided to be lazy for the night, me wearing his t-shirt and him in his cargos and Sox hat. He had it on backwards and he was looking good. He moved around making us baked ziti and I can't tell you how excited that made me. He was an absolutely brilliant chef.

"Yar droolin'," he snorted, holding my chin between his thumb and pointer finger.

"Do you get how good this all looks? I can't wa-wait for it to hit the oven."

He leaned down giving me a kiss before going back to his culinary masterpiece.

"Hay, what do ya say about us maybe buyin' a place down here?" Edward asked casually kind of not looking at me.

"You want to buy a house? Here? For us?" I countered back, swiping a piece of mozzarella.

"Well, I'm askin' what ya think of the idea."

"A house here would be a lifetime investment," I nodded.

"Yeah, it really would. So, whatchya think?"

"What are we really talking about here?" I murmured because this was a serious subject for us, especially with everything we'd been through.

"My uncle's been talkin' about doing renovations ta the bar. He wants me takin' over. I'm thinkin' about makin' it a restaurant as well. Bigga than what it is now, hirin'more staff. It's gonna be mine. Aunt Didi wants ta move ta Florida. This is gonna be huge for me… for us, babe."

"So you want to buy us a house in Nantucket," I stated slowly.

"And a brownstone in Cambridge," he added.

"For us."

"For us," he repeated.

"Is this your way of proposing?"

"Do ya want a proposal, gorgeous?"

"Things have been fu-fucked," I told him bluntly.

"Ya want me ta lay out everything right now?" he asked determined.

"Let me hear it," I encouraged, linking my fingers with his and tugging him to me so he was beside me.

"I want ta get us a brownstone or maybe a house. I saw one in Somerville for sale the other day as I was drivin' through. Babe, it was gorgeous and I know ya would fall in love with it… I wanna then get ya a ring because I want to marry ya, Bell. I know I've been wicked shitty, but outta anythin' I learned from this whole fucked up mess is that our time is precious and I've not seen that. I've been squanderin' it like a fuckin' prick."

I cupped his face, pulling him to me. "Do you want to do all of this when we get back?"

He stared at me, his green eyes searching my brown ones. I could see all of his emotions playing through his eyes. "I want whateva ya want Bell."

Still holding his face, I told him the truth. "Up until yesterday I was con-contemplating going ba-back home to Forks. My dad wanted to come and get me. I felt a-alone. You came home every night and held me, but you wer-weren't really there. I can't go through something like that again Edward. I ca-can't have you absent when the going gets tough. I understand that we're both going through a lot, but in this relationship or even in a marriage you can't just step out like that."

His face was pained, as I knew it would be, but he needed to see he wasn't the only one struggling in all of this. He blamed himself for so much that wasn't in his hands.

"Baby, I want you to talk to someone," I whispered.

"I'm talkin' ta you," he rasped.

"Someone not connected to the situation," I sighed, brushing my thumb against his cheek.

His eyes dropped and I could see the look of defeat. He thought he had failed. Whether he thought it was with our relationship or just the situation, I couldn't tell. I let my palms squeeze his cheeks, gaining his attention again.

"I think us mov-moving on like you want is a good thing and when we get back maybe we can look at the house in Somerville."

"There's a but," he mumbled.

"N-no buts. I want us both in a good place if we get married, Edward. I want to be so happy walking to-toward you… to our beginning and forever. I don't want any bitterness still lingering. I want our marriage to lead to th-things, good things. We could start a family because I want babies with you," I laughed, feeling my tears. "I want so much, but you have to let all of this hate and resentfulness go. It is taking over and you're not that kind of man."

Edward was crying now too and I used my thumbs to brush his tears away. I think I finally drilled my point into his head. In order for us to move forward, he was going to need help.

"Yar the only person I could ever love… my other half. Ya know?"

"Same goes for you. We can only move forward."

"Only forward," he leaned down, kissing me deeply.

**A/N: Please tell me you're still here… don't be discouraged! Part 2 of the vacation shall be next! Dolphin62598 and rainydays23 are my beta's huge thanks to them! Saw Batman and it was the best thing I've ever seen…**


	21. Chapter 21

**BPOV**

I couldn't stop laughing; Edward's face was buried against my stomach. He had been nipping and licking it, saying the nom monster missed me. He was beyond ridiculous.

"Sto-stop," I squealed when he sucked on a ticklish spot.

He looked up at me and grinned. I grabbed his face, pulling him up my body until our lips were joined. We'd had three days of this. Three blissful days of reconnecting with Edward and I was almost afraid to go back to Boston at the end of the weekend.

"Mmm, I love ya," he smiled against my lips.

I pulled back still holding his face. "This isn't just us in our bubble, is it? When we go back you're going to be there, right?" I asked.

His green eyes searched mine. This was my Edward. He was handsome, but he was also this loving caring man. His beauty was just as much inside as it was outside. Life had dealt him a shitty hand more than once, but he was able to bounce back each time and remain a good man. The look in his eyes gave me all the answers I needed. They held his promise to me. He wasn't going anywhere and we would be stronger in the end.

"Ya own me, do ya know that, gorgeous?"

"I thi-think I'm starting to figure that out," I murmured. "I want us to have what we have here back home too."

He kissed me slowly and I pulled him closer. His tongue joined mine, making me well aware of where it was headed. "Inside," I panted against him.

He scooped me up and cradled me close as he carried me up to our room. We had sort of tested out what I could and couldn't handle. Primarily, me lying under him won out. My good leg was starting to hurt from all of the leg hitching, but I'm not complaining.

We tugged and pulled until our swimsuits were off. My brace was definitely in the way, but I couldn't take it off for this. Edward nipped my skin from my navel, working his way up. His lips were sucking on my neck and just as he was about to enter me my leg seized up. The pain I felt made me cry out until I was biting Edward's shoulder.

"Bella," he chanted, trying to get off me, but I clung to him while sobbing into his neck.

"What's wrong, Bell? Ya gotta tell me, baby," he pleaded.

I felt his tears along with mine. I had been getting these kinds of cramps in my leg for weeks. Usually they only came after my therapy sessions when I had over worked myself. The last few days we had been overworking ourselves, trying to make up for so much lost time.

"Cramp," I sputtered out. "Hel-help me stand."

He hurried off the bed and very carefully helped me stand. I grasped on to his forearms, anchoring myself to him. He was giving me the support I needed to stand.

"Wal-walk backwards?" I asked as he slowly moved back.

I moved very carefully toward him with each step he took back. My fingers dug into his forearms as we moved. After a couple steps, the pinching in my thigh turned to nothing but a dull ache.

"Ya okay, gorgeous?"

"It feels bet-better," I shuddered, feeling the cold air hit my naked flesh.

I looked down seeing Edward still semi-erect and then I met his eyes. "Hay, stop it, we're good."

"We can't," I sighed still holding onto his arms.

He brought his hands to my face brushing my hair back; I was still balancing my weight on him.

"Baby, that's okay," he murmured, kissing me sweetly.

"Can we lay down?"

"Is it okay if I lift ya?"

I nodded as he scooped me up, holding me close to him. I buried my face in his neck just trying to breathe him in. This was good; we both handled the issue with my leg fine. There was no shutting down or fits of screaming tears. He was calm and supporting me. This was progress. He laid me down before curling his body around mine.

"I'm okay," I soothed, running my palm against his cheek.

Edward closed his eyes and I felt the stuttered breath expel through his lips. I shifted, bringing myself closer. "Take the brace off," I whispered.

"Ya sure?" he asked his eyes now opened.

I nodded. He sat up, taking off my brace and throwing it on the floor. As he lay back down, his hand rested on my thigh. I felt Edward's thumb stroke the raised mark marring my skin.

"Y'ar so beautiful," he smiled boyishly at me.

I rolled my eyes and kissed him.

"The leg feels betta?"

"Yeah, it still hurts a bit, but it's no-not pinching like it was," I explained, running my fingers through his hair. "You need a hair cut."

He lifted his left shoulder in a half shrug still stroking my thigh. "I haven't really cared what I've looked like far a while now."

"I didn't think you usually cared," I giggled, knowing Edward.

He was such a guy's guy that he wore whatever was within arms reach and didn't smell. He just threw it on and called it a day. Edward was the kind of man that was hard working and never shallow or materialistic. He lived honestly and that was one of the main reasons I loved him.

"I'll get a trim when we get back," he told me moving his palm to my ass, pulling me closer.

"You know you look good either way, right?" I murmured.

"Ya look good all the time, gorgeous," he smirked, grinding his erection against me.

I squealed against his shoulder and that was how we spent the rest of our day in bed.

"Wanna check this one out?" Edward asked, leaning his weight on the handlebars of my wheel chair.

I looked through my sunglasses at the antique store ahead and nodded. "Sure, maybe we can get some ideas?" I smiled as I turned to look up at him.

"Far the house?" He grinned.

This is how I wanted him always. He looked relaxed and happy, not to mention so damn cute with his Sox cap on backwards. The curls of his hair escaped the sides of his cap. Another thing I had learned about him is how curly his hair actually was. I couldn't help but imagine little curly bronzed haired children running around.

"Yes, for the house," I repeated, biting my lip.

He leaned down, placing a loud smacking kiss on my lips and I couldn't stop laughing. He straightened back up and continued to push me. I sat there not a hundred percent comfortable with being in the chair, but we were doing a lot of walking today and I would definitely overwork myself if I used my crutches.

The bell on the door tinkled as we entered the small shop and at first glance, I fell in love. In the corner toward the back wall, I spotted a cherry wood bedroom set that just looked so beautiful.

"I spy wit my lil' eye somethin' Bella just fell in love with," Edward teased in my ear.

"The bedroom set," I smiled shyly.

"Let's go look, then."

As we moved closer, I knew I wanted it. It was something that was so us it was ridiculous. The armoire, nightstands and California King bed were something I could see us growing old with. Tons of Saturday mornings chillin' and lazing about, little bodies trying to crawl in bed with us. Most of all I could see us making love in the bed and maybe against the armoire.

Edward wrapped his arms around me, placing a kiss to my neck. "I think we're making a purchase today," he whispered.

"It's probably too much," I frowned because a set this exquisite couldn't be that cheap.

"Think of it as an I love ya gift," he smirked.

"When did you start giving those?" I snorted.

"Well yar familiar with them in the form of an orgas…"

"Ed?" A woman asked cutting him off.

"T," he shrugged nonchalantly.

I watched the tall, lithe woman walk toward us. Her strawberry blonde curls bounced around her shoulders as she moved. She was definitely dressed the part for Nantucket living in her white navy striped shirt and white skirt. Her ruby red lips popped against her porcelain skin.

"Your mother hadn't said you would be here this summer," she smiled brightly, touching his arm that was closest to her.

"I've been busy," he gritted out, looking down at me.

"I heard Jasper had entered rehab. Something about him being in an accident. I'm sorry to hear that, you know?" she said sweetly.

I cringed at the direction this was heading in and I could see Edward's knuckles whitening on the handlebars.

"Hi, I'm Bel-Bella and you are?" I asked as friendly as possible.

Edward hands moved to my shoulders where he squeezed them gently.

"Tanya, I guess you can say I'm a _friend_ of Edward's." She glared.

"Use the term _friend_ loosely, T," he chuckled humorously.

I could tell that there was a story there. If I had to go out on a limb I would say they probably dated or were even fuck buddies. I saw her repulse for me and his uncomfortable behavior towards her. I didn't feel jealous because I knew how Edward felt about me, or better yet, us. I knew how he was. The people he loved he kept close almost to a hovering level. He obviously hadn't kept in contact with Tanya for a while, possibly even since before we met.

"Baby, ya wanna get the set?" he asked softly, peering down at me.

I glanced at Tanya and watched her blue eyes widen. She wasn't surprised that we were together or maybe just shocked that Edward dismissed her.

"I don't wa-want it if it's too much," I warned.

"I'll go wheel and deal, gorgeous," he winked before kissing my cheek loudly. "You stayin' here?"

"I'm fine. Go whe-wheel and deal," I smiled, patting his hand.

He kissed me again, casting a glare and a huff at Tanya. I tried not to laugh because he really was being goofy with her. He beamed a perfect smile to the older woman behind the counter. His smile was adorable and I could see the woman had thought so too. They began speaking animatedly and I sighed looking at the set again only this time Tanya was in my way.

"Yes?"

"I don't get it," she snipped, gesturing with a wave towards me.

"What is there not to get?"

"Is he with you out of pity?"

I pointed to the scar at my hairline and the one on my thigh that was exposed by my shorts. "These are from me saving his brother, Jasper, who you seem to know. The accident you said Jas-Jasper was in was the one I was in. I've been with Edward almost a year. This…" I gestured again to my recovery points, "happened almost three months ago. So I don't think he was with me out of pity when we met."

She balked at me and didn't speak. I lightly touched the cheery wood of the bed before wheeling the chair to where Edward was still schmoozing with the lady. The lady grinned down at me with a wistful look on her aged face.

"Is this your sweetheart, Edward?" she asked.

"This is my Bella, Mrs. Delaney," he announced proudly. "Bell this is Mrs. Delaney, she owns the shop."

"It's ni-nice to meet you," I greeted politely.

"I've known Edward since he came to live with Essie and Carlisle. Essie would bring him and Jasper in and they would run amuck in here," she chuckled looking at Edward fondly.

"He didn't break anything did he?" I questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"Maybe one thing," she whispered, nodding over to where Tanya stood. "It wasn't intentional. Don't mind my granddaughter, dear."

Edward frowned and Mrs. Delaney shook her finger at him. "None of that. I know your parents didn't spend all that money on those teeth to have that look on your face."

"Nah, ya didn't just go there," he whined.

"You ha-had braces," I just about squealed.

"Ugh, Mrs. D ya just had ta tell this one that," he groaned, moving my hair over my shoulder. I giggled as he put a kiss on my exposed neck.

"I bet she loves you anyways," Mrs. Delaney teased.

"What do ya say, gorgeous? Ya still love me?" he hovered beside me.

"Hmm," I said tapping my chin. "I thin-think I do."

Edward leaned down, kissing me slowly. If I wasn't so caught up in it, I probably would have protested. We were definitely giving a show.

"I love ya," he said quietly.

"I love you too," I sighed, cupping his cheek.

"Edward I think you have yourself a deal with the bedroom set," Mrs Delaney smiled.

"I thought I would. We're buyin' a house Mrs. D," he declared his eyes never leaving mine.

"Yeah, we're buying a house," I repeated softly.

Steps. We were making huge steps forward after months of things spiraling. I had a feeling we still had a lot to overcome, but the foundation we were laying down now would only make us stronger as we continued to move forward.

**A/N: These two are on the mend. As always please share your thoughts! Huge thanks to Dolphin62598 and rainydays23 for their betaing skills!**


	22. Chapter 22

**BPOV**

"You're glowing," Esme said from beside me on the couch.

Edward had dropped me off at his parent's house before his shift at the bar. We came back last night and everything was still the same, except for us and where we stood. We were in a happy place and I felt somewhat lighter.

"It's th-the tan," I teased, watching Olivia play on the floor.

Esme's hand gently cupped my cheek, getting my attention. "You look happy and beautiful…just like my son. I was so afraid for you both."

"We needed to get away. We needed to be away from… everything," I explained.

His mother's warm brown eyes searched mine. This was what having a mother was like. Esme treated and loved me like I was hers. She was concerned and worried for both Edward and me. Before and after the accident, she had this way of caring for me without suffocating me. Renee was nothing like Esme and never would be.

"Your father called me," she murmured.

"I'm not going back to Forks," I whispered.

"To be honest before you both left, I would have supported your decision to leave. Edward wasn't being fair to either of you."

"He… I told him I talked to Char-Charlie about moving back. He knows it was a possibility... That if things go back to the way they were I will go back," I told her.

She leaned forward, kissing my head and then pulled back to look at me with a watery smile. "You are so unbelievably strong and I am honored to have you in this family," she said with emotion.

I felt tears slide down my face.

"Aunt Bella, your leg okay?" Olivia asked as she rushed over to us.

I scooped her up in my arms, holding her close. For such a young age, she was very aware of her environment and since the accident she had become uncharacteristically quiet. Not only had her father disappeared, but her uncle had withdrawn from the family as well. Other than Carlisle, Edward was the only male role model she had in her life and I could see the affects his actions were leaving on her.

Olivia knew I had been hurt and anytime she was at our place she clung to her grandmother or Alice. She was afraid of me or more so she was afraid of hurting me. She had seen me cry more than once and I felt horrible that she had to see me at my lowest low.

"I'm o-okay, Liv. I promise," I assured her.

She looked me over, careful not to bump my leg and hid her little face in my neck. "I love you," she had mumbled.

"Her D-A-D-D-Y has asked about her," Esme said quietly.

"Really?" I asked surprised.

She nodded carefully.

"What are you not telling me? It's o-okay."

"He's asked about you too, Bella."

This time I nodded, knowing how delicate this subject matter was. Jasper to me wasn't my problem, but to Edward… Jasper almost had me killed and that was where the problem was to my boyfriend. I had wanted to talk to Jasper over the past few weeks, knowing that it was key to my recovery, but I knew Edward would never let me in the same room with him.

Edward's anger went in two different directions. He was eitherpissed at me for risking my life for his brother or he was just generally mad at everything about Jasper or at least everything that he had been.

"Alice won't tell me anything. I'm not Edward. I don't hate him for what happened. He has a child and he would have been hit, maybe worse than I was, if I hadn't pushed him out of the way," I said honestly.

The way the car hit me wasn't a full impact. I wasn't clipped by any means, but I had seen the police report. I was struck by the front passenger side of the car, busting out the head light. Edward doesn't know I read the report and knew exactly what had happened that night. Rose had also told me everything. She cried just about every time she came to see me, but she was the only one who was there other than Jasper.

"But to Edward no one should have been pushing anyone out of the way. Neither of you should have been in the street to begin with," she said knowingly.

She knew Edward's argument and how he felt. We all did, but he also let all of his feelings fester.

"I don-don't want to push the Jasper issue just yet. Edward's finally healing… he said he would talk to someone."

Esme squeezed my hand, giving me a gentle smile. "Say no more, ducky," she murmured. "You both will have to face it all soon enough and you will always have mine and Carlisle's support."

"I… Thank you," I sniffled, still holding Olivia close.

She pulled me into a hug and kissed my head again before taking her granddaughter. "You might want to call Charlie. He's been worried," she said, leaving me alone in the living room.

I sighed, grabbing my cell phone off the table. I hit the familiar number of the house in Forks.

"Hello?" A voice that definitely wasn't my father answered.

"Can I ta-talk to Charlie, Jake?"

"Oh, so you finally decided to call your old man back," Jake snapped. "You're a real class act you know that, Bells."

"And you're a bitter ass-asshole," I snipped back. "Give the phone to my dad."

"Jake who is it?" I heard Charlie holler in the background.

"Your child," he mumbled away from the phone.

"Bella?" Dad rushed on the phone.

"Hey da-dad," I sighed. "We just got back last night and I wa-wanted to give you a call."

"I was worried when you didn't call, kiddo," he admitted. "I even called the Cullens. Esme assured me you were having fun though. Edward sent her pictures I guess."

I smiled remembering the touristy pictures Edward made us take the couple of times we went out.

"It was nice to take a breather," I confessed.

"I assume you're not coming home anytime soon," he sighed.

"We talked, dad. I mean really talked. I to-told him we couldn't go back to the way we were living before. He needs to be more present and not push me away. He was dist-distancing himself because he blames things on himself," I told him honestly.

"I know you love him, Bells… Hell, I know that boy loves you, but the way he was treating you isn't okay in my book," Charlie started.

"He agreed to start talking to someone. I'm letting him heal in his own way, dad."

"His own way was hurting you, kid," he said frankly.

I let out a breath and knew he was right, which wasn't helping my case. I had decided to give Edward a second chance and dwelling on the past wasn't going to help us move forward.

"Dad, I am wi-with Edward and these past few mon-months have been hard on all of us. We are working through thi-this together and I would really like to have your support," I finished, closing my eyes.

When I was younger, Charlie was facing his own demons and once I got my dad back he never left again. He was important to me and I never wanted to disappoint him, but right now, I'm choosing me and Edward. I'd never felt for anyone what I had for him. As corny as it sounded, he completeed me. I see a future that I have never envisioned before.

"You know you always have my full support, Bella. Never doubt that," he said firmly.

"Thank you, Dad."

"I'll call later on in the week. We'll talk then?"

"Yeah, lo-love you," I smiled.

"I love you too, kid," he chuckled.

"Aunt Bella," Olivia hurried into the room holding a sandwich on a plate.

"What do we have here, Miss Olivia?"

"I broughted you lunch," she smiled shyly.

"Thank you, ma'am," I murmured, kissing her head.

I spent the rest of my afternoon reflecting on my conversation with Charlie and Esme. I honestly felt like Edward and I were heading back on the path we were on before the accident. We reconnected over the past week and he was willing to seek help for everything we'd been through. He didn't want to lose me and he knew this was our deal breaker.

I heard Esme's front door open as I stirred on her couch. I didn't know how long I slept, but I was feeling the affects of a long slumber.

"Hay, gorgeous," Edward whispered in my ear.

"I fell asleep," I mumbled.

He brushed my hair out of my face as he kissed my lips. "Do you want ta stay the night? Ma fixed up my old room for us just incase."

"You'll have to face Ro-Rose in the morning," I yawned.

He shrugged.

"Okay."

Edward scooped me up in his arms, carrying me up to his old room. I noticed Esme turned down the bed for us. I left my hoodie and yoga shorts on and watched Edward strip down to nothing before climbing in behind me.

"You're all nak-naked," I giggled sleepily.

"Ya could be ta," he grinned as I turned in his arms to face him.

"We can't both be nak-naked in your parent's house," I informed him.

"And why not?" he asked curiously.

"Because if we're both nak-naked that leads to sexy times and I can't have sex in this house. Your mo-mom has Jesus everywhere."

Edward burst out laughing. "There's no Jesus in here, Bell."

"I know that, but out in the hall," I widened my eyes.

"That picture freaks Pop out. Ya can sometimes hear him out in the hall when he's heading ta take a piss. Shrieks like a girl," he snorted.

I giggled harder at that because Carlisle shrieking like a girl sounds like a myth. Edward moved closer, kissing my lips. "I missed ya," he whispered.

I bring my hand between us, letting my fingers graze his shaft. He kissed me again and curled my fingers around him with his hand. My thumb circled around the liquid leaking from the head of his cock, our mouths still linked together. His fingers crept under the leg to my shorts and panties.

"Ed-Edward," I gasped.

"You're so wet, baby," he smiled against my lips.

"That feels so goo-good," I breathed as two fingers entered me.

"Just keep going," he panted, taking my lips with his.

I pumped and he fingered me. Our mouths stayed fused together to muffle our moans and groans. When I felt my orgasm take hold I cried out loudly around the same time Edward did.

"That wasn't very quiet," Edward sighed, slumping against me.

"Yeah," I said closing my eyes.

His fingers were still in me and mine were still on him. He wiggled them around with a silly grin. "Does that feel weird?"

"A little, I'm still pre-pretty tingly."

"Wiggled, wiggle, wiggle, yeah," he teased doing it again.

"Why are you so str-strange?" I asked, shifting a little.

His thumb started tapping my clit.

"I'm tired," I whined.

"Fine," he let out an exaggerated sigh before removing his fingers.

More kisses were exchanged as we both drifted off to sleep. I knew this was where I was supposed to be I was to be with him. He gave me so much love and happiness. That was what triumphed over our hard times.

**A/N: That was semi-lemony… Not much to say about this chapter. There are two major loose ends to tie-up and then we'll be saying bye to Bostonward and Bellarina. It's sad I know. Dolphin62598 and rainydays23 beta'd, huge thanks to them! I am looking to add another beta so if any of you have experience or know someone, let me know!**


	23. Chapter 23

**EPOV**

Today was a bad day. When I swung by Alice's and picked Bella up, Alice warned me Bella had been crying on and off today, complaining of headaches. I went in the apartment and sat next to Bella on the couch. She instantly buried her face in my neck.

After I scooped her up and carried her out to my car she stayed silent, but I could see her shoulders shaking as I drove. When I found a space and parked she peered over at me.

"Do we need to go to the hospital, gorgeous?" I asked, leaning into her from my seat behind the wheel.

"No-ooo," she sniffled.

"Baby, I want to make it better," I pleaded. "Tell me how to make it better."

"I want to l-lay down," she cried, holding onto my arm. "I promise I'm o-okay."

"Bella," I groaned.

"I-I'm sorry," her whimpers picked up.

"Hey, hey, hey," I soothed. "Nothing to be sorry for."

I got out of the car as quick as I could, lifting her from her seat. She didn't want to go to the hospital so I had to do the only thing that I could: call Pops. I carried her upstairs and got her settled in our bed. She clung to me, not wanting me to leave her. I kissed and whispered to her until I watched her eyes close. I pulled my phone from my back pocket.

"Hello?" Pops yawned into the phone.

"Hey pops," I whispered.

"Edward, what's up?"

"I picked Bella up from Alice's and she's been crying, saying her head is hurting. I mean she was sobbing. She just finally fell asleep. I said I wanted to take her to the hospital, but she freaked."

"I'm on my way, but I'm afraid we'll probably have to go to the hospital. Her doctor would want an MRI regardless," he sighed.

"So something is wrong?" I breathed.

"I didn't say that. An MRI for neuro recovery patients is common within the first year of surgery. They run them at her regular appointments. Calm down. I know you're freaking out, but it's precautionary."

"I'm sorry," I muttered.

"Stop, I'll be there in twenty, kiddo," he said before hanging up.

I looked down at Bella, wiping her tears from her cheeks. I also brushed her hair from her face. My distancing was done; she didn't push me away like she did in the beginning. I had to be here for her when she needed me. Pops let himself in.

"We're going to have to wake her up."

"Gorgeous," I murmured, cupping her face.

Her eyes fluttered open causing me to smile down at her. She blinked before wrapping her hand around mine. Bella must have seen Pops move and she winced.

"Why i-is your dad here?"

"I called him about your headache," I explained.

She started crying as dad moved me out of the way. I got up, moving to my side of the bed and got in behind her. "Sweetie, Alice said you've had a headache all day and have been crying. We just want to make sure you're all right," Pops soothed.

"I don't wa-want an MRI. No doctors," she whimpered.

Pops looked over at me with sympathy before he went back to his bag. He took her temperature; finding out Bella had a slight fever. I felt tension wrack my body when he said her right eye looked a little dilated.

"We're going to have to go to the hospital," he frowned, but he was trying to remain positive as well.

I pulled Bella into my arms and we raced to the hospital.

* * *

><p>I paced the hall while Bella got her MRI. She cried and freaked out until I practically had to beg her. Pops clapped his hand on my shoulder.<p>

"Edward, you're going to wear out the tiles," he chuckled.

"What if something's wrong?" I choked out.

Finally, the nurse and neuro intern wheeled Bella out of the room. The nurse smiled warmly at me and Pops. "We're going to head back down and the doctor will speak with you."

Bella's eyes started to shut and I saw her breathing even out. I relaxed slightly while we followed them back down to the exam room. Pops was talking to the nurse while I watched my girl sleep.

"Dr. Cullen, Mr. Cullen," her doctor greeted.

"Dr. Ross," Pops acknowledged.

"I see Isabella fell asleep?"

"I can wake her up…" I started.

"No, that won't be necessary. I spoke with her earlier after her scan and she said she was exhausted. Also she told me I could talk to you," he smiled. "Her scans came back great. It seems her fever and headache are from a sinus and double ear infection."

"So she's going to be okay?"

"I'm going to prescribe her some antibiotics and she should be good to go," he nodded.

"Thank Christ," I fist pumped.

"She doesn't need to stay overnight so I'll get her discharge papers started. I think it's best to let her sleep and let the antibiotics do their job. Maybe spoil her a little because she'll probably be cranky," he winked.

"Doc, you're lucky she's sleeping," I snorted.

"Carlisle when's your boy going to marry his girl? He would be able to make more decisions then," the doc said, quirking a bushing gray eyebrow at me.

"Someone's always busting my balls," I grumbled.

"Benjamin, leave him alone. He's got a ring," dad smirked.

"Last time I let you in on shit," I huffed, turning back to check on Bella.

Ma had let me take a look at Grandma Platt's ring last week. It was an oval three-caret diamond. That thing was popping. The band was all wrong for my girl though. I took it in to the jeweler in Cambridge, some upscale place Alice told me about. I told the guy to make it a masterpiece. I had a chunk of money in savings but I was happy the guy cut me a break though. He said it was an honor to work on such a beautiful piece. I gave him one of Bella's rings I swiped from home, explaining about the accident and told him how she lost weight and her rings were a little loose. He suggested we go down a half size then, once I give it to her, he can resize it if it doesn't fit. The guy was a stand up dude.

"She'll love it, Edward," Dr. Ross smiled reassuringly at me as he closed the chart. Pops followed him out while I stayed with Bella.

"You scared me shitless tonight, gorgeous," I sighed, kissing her head.

I had to keep thanking God that it was only her sinuses and ears, nothing too traumatic that I couldn't deal with. I could do what Dr. Ross said and spoil the shit out of her. She'd be less moody if I gave her, her every wish. She wanted chicken soup, I'd give her chicken soup. I got this shit covered.

* * *

><p>After we got home I conked right out, curling around Bella, which led me to the fingers tracing my face. I blinked, seeing my beauty's blurred face come into view.<p>

"Always with the touching of my face," I grumbled playfully.

"I lo-love your face," she said quietly.

I leaned forward, giving her a peck on her lips and then her head. When I kissed her head, I was mainly checking her temperature. Ma did it when I was little so I learned from the best.

"You're still warm," I frowned, pulling back.

"Well you are like my blanket," she muttered.

I rolled away from her. "Oh, better?"

She was pouting, looking all cranky. I got up and went in search for her meds.

"Are you going t-to put any clothes on?" she huffed.

"It's just me and you, gorgeous," I said, throwing my hands up.

"Did you do that before I came along?"

I raised an eyebrow giving her my 'duh' look. I mean clothes were so suffocating. I had a roommate my first two years of college, then I had singles after that and now I have this place. Living on my own, I gained freedoms.

"You saying you wouldn't walk around with your tits hanging out?" I questioned.

"No, its weird… th-they bounce and…"

"You don't think this doesn't bounce?" I snorted, pointing to my dick.

"Oh my God, this is the mo-most ridiculous conversation ever," Bella groaned, hiding her head with the blanket.

I took this opportunity to run out to the kitchen and grab her meds off the counter. I heard her nose blowing when I came back. I got back under the covers with her, sorting through all this shit. I was sitting halfway up against the headboard as Bella's head lay on my stomach.

"Your head's congested," I commented, running my fingers through her hair.

"I feel it more now. Yesterday there was so much pressure," she murmured. "I was scared."

"You and me both, Bell," I sighed, holding her to me. "I can't ever lose you. Just the thought kills me."

She turned her head peering up at me. "So-sometimes I feel like our love is bigger than us."

"Why do you feel like that?" I asked, holding her chin between my pointer finger and thumb.

"You get overwhelmed when my head hurts and I get scared if you don't answer me with some form of communication. Before the accident everything was so easy…smooth. Our love was just effortless," she mused quietly. "Now we're aware of what we can lose. It's intensified?"

I nodded, totally agreeing with her.

"We're stronger, though, you know?"

"Yeah, but I miss the ease… Now it's all about the heavy," she mumbled.

I moved her chin gently between my fingers making her head bobble. "The heavy is preparing us for bigger things, maybe. We were too comfortable, now we know it's not rainbows and kittens or some shit like that."

"I wa-want to speak with Jasper… go see him," she burst out of nowhere.

"Ho…oh…wo…" I barked out before checking my tone.

She winced, letting her nails graze my chest. "I want you to go too," she rushed, closing her eyes.

"Bella," I snapped.

"I'm saying this, so listen," she glared, unconsciously digging her nails into my skin. "What if last night the doctor said I needed another surgery instead of it being a sinus infection? I talked to yo-your mom and she says he's not doing well. He's drow-drowning in guilt…remorse. If something happened to me… I would like for him to know I don't hate him. He's your brother…"

"He almost had you killed," I growled. "Don't ask this of me."

"If you won't go that's fine, but I really wanted you with me… Your support, I want to be your support too," she finished quietly.

Translation: she wanted us to do this together. I didn't like it. If we went to that rehab center, it would be one big shit show. I'd be pissed, Bella would cry, and Jasper would sing his whole 'poor me' tune. The thing was that Bella knew she had me where she wanted me. I wouldn't let her go alone and she said she was going. This girl gets these thoughts in her head and she'd find a way to do it with or without me. She had me by the fucking balls.

**A/N: Thoughts? Just saying, last a/n I was meaning in general things are wrapping up, there might be seven chapters or maybe ten chapters left. It was just a heads up. My amazing betas are Dolphin62598 and rainydays23.**


	24. Chapter 24

**BPOV**

After a week of recovery from my sinus and double ear infection, Edward had finally left my side. He hovered more than ever before and was at my beck and call. I had a few bad days in the beginning, but after the antibiotics kicked in I was feeling much better.

I heard a creak on Esme's stairs so I rolled over on my stomach from her couch to see who it was. Edward had a meeting at the bank; he was trying to check his saving for our house hunting and then look into business loans.

Whoever it was on the stairs was trying to creep by. I scooted up to peer over the arm. Esme stepped out a few minutes ago to make a quick grocery run, Carlisle was at the hospital, and both girls were sleeping upstairs. Maybe it was Rosalie I thought.

I watched the massive frame of someone very familiar emerge from the stairs. He slid his sweater over his messy curls and his head popped out.

"Wal-walk of shame, McCarty? I-I am shocked," I giggled lightly.

"Jesus Christ, Bella," he said almost sliding on the last step. "We heard Esme's car leave and thought Olivia was the only one here."

"You're lucky Edward dropped me off earlier," I sighed, shaking my head.

They both hated each other. Emmett really liked Edward in the beginning, but after my accident and everything that had happened with Rose, things had definitely changed.

"Like I care," he said gruffly, pulling his watch out of his pocket before snapping the clasp shut on his wrist.

"O-okay I'm being serious now. This is Esme and Carlisle's house and you're up-upstairs fucking their daughter. Under. Their. Roof," I emphasized my point slowly. "I won't tell you what to do, but you should ha-have respect for both Rose and her parents. Don't hide what you have with her."

"Rosie's only eighteen," he argued.

"She's almost nineteen and an adult. You both are dis-disrespecting her parents," I told him.

Em frowned at me and let out a huge breath. "Damn, Bells. You just have to be so smart."

"I did gr-graduate from Harvard," I teased.

Emmett leaned forward, gently pinching my cheek. "How are you doing, Bella?" he asked quietly.

"I'm getting better," I replied honestly. "I can't do any grand jumps or plié, but I'm thankful for still being able to walk…to be alive."

He nodded before exhaling slowly. I saw the pain in his eyes. A year ago, he was my boyfriend. He loved me. We were probably lying in his bed at his apartment around this time in the morning. It was all hazy now because honestly I can't picture anyone else lying beside me… loving me…except Edward. Edward was my everything now. From the time I woke up to the time I fell asleep, every decision or thought had something to do with him or our future.

"You know I still love you, Bells," Em said quietly. "But now I see how different it is."

"You're in love with Rosalie," I murmured knowingly.

He smiled this big dimpled smile at the mention of her name.

"This feeling is kicking my ass," he laughed.

"I know how yo-you feel," I nodded.

"Rose thinks Edward is going to propose." I shrugged.

"We're going to buy a hou-house. This is us moving on to our future," I smiled, thinking how grateful I was that I still had a future.

"That's just… wow."

"Yep."

The stairs creaked again and I saw Rose emerge in a t-shirt and shorts. Her hair lay in light curls on her shoulders and she looked every bit of fresh-faced teenager that she was.

"Busted," I said, causing her to jump.

"Christ," she breathed, doing the sign of the cross. "Is Ma home?" she asked, glancing around frantically.

"No, she we-went to the store," I answered.

"Ed's not here?" she questioned her eyes widening.

"No, he had a meeting at the bank."

Emmett stood and walked over to where Rose stood on the stairs. He placed his forehead to hers, kissing her quick a few times and whispering to her before he waved bye to me. Rose sighed as she closed the door behind him and plopped on the couch beside me.

"I love him," she squealed.

I had to giggle at her happiness. I knew how it felt to be so head over heels for someone. That someone was so obviously her big brother.

"Ya gonna tell?" she asked side eyeing me.

"I'm not a tattle tale," I scoffed.

"Right," Rose smiled. "So I hear Ed and you are lookin' at the house in Somerville."

"We are- we have an appointment with the realtor tomorrow."

"Ed's droppin' wicked change on it I bet," she whistled, shaking her head. "My brotha isn't a cheap fucka. He always saved, even when we were kids, ya know?"

"I don't want something ridiculous though. A house is all I want… somewhere th-that we can call ours."

"Ya want something yar babies can run around in," she giggled.

I felt my smile creep up. Babies. Ever since we told everyone our plans to find a house, they jumped on the baby train. I knew my limits and I knew where my recovery was. I wanted children, but I also wanted us to be married and settled in before we had little ones running around. We'd been together for almost a year and a lot had happened that had tested us. I wanted fun and romance before entering the family building territory.

"He has to put a ring on it before any of that."

"Ohh, gotcha," she nodded.

Rose snuggled up on the couch next to me, laying her head on my shoulder while I asked her about Emmett. We had been like this since the accident. Anytime I came over she would stay close and talk with me. I knew Carlisle and Esme were taking her to a therapist where she could talk about what happened… what she had seen. When Esme came home, she went upstairs to get Olivia ready for her day. Edward didn't get back until lunch.

I was balancing on my crutches when the door opened. He stilled when he saw me. Lately at home, it was like a battle for him to let me move around on my own. When he wasn't around, I'd been moving around more. Felix said if I ever wanted full strength back in my leg, I was going to have to start walking with the crutches.

"Don't," I warned, taking little shuffled steps.

Edward lifted his hands in surrender, staying in the doorway just watching me. I slowly made my way across the room until I was in the doorway of the kitchen, panting away. When I turned, Edward was furiously wiping at his eyes. He saw that I caught him crying and shook his head. He walked over to me and stopped, placing a kiss on my head.

"Yar the strongest person I know," he murmured, dipping down to look in my eyes. "Ya got that, gorgeous?"

I nodded, giving him a kiss. He helped me the rest of the way into the kitchen. I felt like we jumped another hurdle today and it was good.

**EPOV**

I pulled on the bill of my Sox cap for… I don't even know how many times anymore. I promised Bella I would talk to somebody, so this was me, getting my shit together and keeping my promise to my girl. Pop got me some good referrals. I chose Maggie O'Banel. Pop said she was a straight shooter, didn't sugar coat shit and she would let me vent.

"Edward," the receptionist called.

I stood with a sigh and followed her into the back room that was Maggie's office, sitting down on the leather couch while picking at the cargo shorts Bell made me wear. She said I had to look nice, so I let her dress me in khaki cargos and a black button down. She didn't know I swiped my Sox cap from the passenger's seat of my car. She probably would have kicked my ass if she did.

"Edward?" a light voice asked coming into the room.

I watched the petite women walk in. Her hair was auburn like mine, maybe just a little darker. She was tiny like Bella and Alice and for a shrink she didn't look too scary. The freckles covering her pale skin made her look like a kid. She stuck her hand out, giving me a toothy smile.

"Hi, I'm Maggie," she greeted warmly.

"How old are you?" I asked bluntly.

"Older than you," she said, raising an eyebrow at me.

"My girl just graduated Harvard and she looks older that you," I gestured, waving my hand at her.

"Genetics," she shrugged as I huffed. "I'm thirty-two. Didn't your mother ever tell ya it's rude ta ask a lady her age?"

"You're a Southie, I fucking thought I heard it," I mumbled to myself.

"Your father thought you might be comfortable with someone from the neighborhood."

"You know my pop well?" I questioned skeptically. Didn't that go against some code of ethics for doctors?

"How about I tell you some of my story and then we can talk about… whatever."

"Sounds reasonable," I shrugged.

"I was born and raised in South Boston. My father was a marine. He died when I was three. My mother started using after his death. We used to go to the clinic Carlisle worked at. They say that there is at least one person that can change your life and your father was one who changed mine…"

"So he fucking set me up," I spat, cutting her off.

"You're the one who chose to see me, am I correct? Carlisle gave you at least five doctors."

"He knew I would pick you."

"Why did you pick me?"

"You were the only one that's not an old dude…" I trailed off.

"You picked me because I'm a woman?" she asked skeptically.

"Woman are nurturing and shit," I huffed.

She barked out a laugh, shaking her head. I wasn't being funny though. I figured the thing about therapy was people came to heal and have breakthroughs. I for sure wasn't going to cry my eyes out to some dude and I had a feeling when it came to talking about Bella…and her accident…there will be a lot of sobbing pussy shit going down. I wanted no judging. Chicks get crying and sadness.

"I think I'm gonna have a lot of fun with you," she laughed some more.

I fidgeted around, playing with my shorts again. They were fraying so I pulled at the tattering pieces as a distraction.

"What else you going to tell me?" I asked not looking at her.

"Your dad got my ma into treatment by the time I was in junior high. When it came to college, he asked me what I wanted to do. I told him I wanted to help people… listen to their problems. I got an academic scholarship to Dartmouth. I got my PH.D from there as well and here I am."

Nodding, I accepted what she said. I knew Carlisle and I could see him doing what he did for her. He was like a saint in some ways. The only person he never could really help was Jazz, but could anyone really help that asshole?

"Carlisle said you specialize with troubled kids. Almost like social work."

"I started out dealing with soldiers who had post-war stress."

"Huh?"

"What?"

"Nothing," I shook my head.

Carlisle pointed the kid thing out to me but that wasn't what I was asking about. Jazz had PTSD; this could have been his way of getting me to sympathize with what was wrong with my brother.

"When your father spoke with me about you, I told him to throw my name into the hat," she explained. "This is how I do things, plain and simple; you come here to talk about whatever you're thinking in the moment. I'm not strict with the typical psychobabble bullshit. I get a feeling you're here because there is someone you love that wants you to seek help or for someone to just give you an ear. You can have mine. Tell me what's going on or stories of things that have happened to you."

I let her statement roll around in my head for a minute. This wasn't going to be conventional therapy. Maggie was going to let me move at my own pace and I sort of dug that. I laid back against the couch and spread my legs out in front of me, trying to get comfortable. She was watching me so I pulled the bill of the cap down to cover my eyes a little bit.

"I came here for my girlfriend. I want to marry her and I think the only way she'll definitely say yes is if I get my ass back in line. I promised her this just like I'm going to promise to give her the best life imaginable."

There was silence for a second and I shifted nervously.

"Why don't you tell me more about your girl?"

**A/N: Thanks for reading and your reviews! I'm really bad replying, I know, but I do read most of them on my phone at work and the ffn mobile is fail with me replying back. Please tell me what you think! This Jasper thing isn't going to be rush in so a few things need to happen before that gets resolved. As always Dolphin62598 and rainydays23 beta'd this so huge thanks to them! **

**Not going to lie this is a little late because last week was super busy not to mention Tom Sturridge was off to the side and Sienna Miller was right in front of me at Starbucks, which turned my brain to mush for a few days. I have never been so confused to as why they would randomly be standing in front of me… I was really good though, kept quiet and on my phone. I couldn't get all fan girly because the workers in there know my name and drink order. I have a reputation to uphold, but was still dying on the inside. No one knew who they were…**


	25. Chapter 25

**BPOV**

"Bella, you're kicking ass and taking names," Felix grinned as I walked into the room with my crutches.

Edward was behind me walking close. It seemed every time I walked, he grew nervous. I blew my bangs out of my face as I moved toward the bench Felix was sitting on. My face felt flushed and I was a bit winded from the walk in.

"Tired?"

"No, I'm just getting used to being mobile again," I explained, shaking my head.

"She's been walkin' everywhere," Edward added, looking at Felix warily.

He had carried my bag in and was now holding my crutches. Edward had been really supportive the past few weeks, almost uncharacteristically at times. He had started therapy, I knew this, but since he started seeing Maggie he had become more aware of things. He'd been super attentive, watching me closer and doing more around the apartment. It was to the point that I wanted to go and speak with her and ask her what she had done to him and how.

I honestly felt we were back to how we were before the accident. Everything just felt right, like it was progressing as it should.

"So, how's the pain?" Felix asked, helping me up into the chair.

"It's getting more pinchy?"

"More pinchy," he chuckled. "That's a new medical term."

I giggled, shifting as he removed my brace. When the brace came off I had a habit of staring at my scar. From my knee to my thigh I saw the angry line looking back at me.

"Yar beautiful," Edward whispered in my ear from beside me.

He knew the scars marring my body bothered me. The one at my hairline especially made me insecure. I felt like people were staring, not so much our friends and family, but outsiders.

Felix noticed where my attention lied. He smiled gently before giving me his words of wisdom. "Our scars don't define us, Bella. We define who we are by our life experiences."

I puffed out a breath. "They ma-make me feel ugly," I frowned at my shallow honesty.

Edward wanted to say something, I could see it in his eyes, but he was biting his tongue. Felix was watching him too. He told me the last time we were here that he liked Edward now. I laughed, trying to think of who wouldn't like Edward. I think everyone that I'd ever met that had come in contact with him instantly loved him. He was rough around the edges at times, but he also had the most amazing heart.

"I think we might get you started on a walking boot soon. That way you'll be even more mobile," Felix winked.

I heard Edward grumble that he was going for a walk. He kissed my head before heading out. Felix was waiting patiently for me to say something.

"He's no-not being a jerk," I finally defended. "The more I can walk and get into things the more he worries."

"Why is he worried?"

"I'm more clumsy now," I explained. "I lose my bal-balance easily. I think it's stressing Edward out. He's like the knight that has to catch me when I fall."

"Have you fallen a lot?" Felix asked as he got me into position for my leg warm ups.

"I rolled off the couch last night. Edward was in the kitchen and I was trying to reach for the remote. When he came in with his beer and my cherry Coke I was struggling to get up."

"You were fine, though?"

"It pinched, but I wasn't freaking out like he was."

"What's he going to do when you move into a house?"

"That's what I asked him," I sighed. "The one he wants I fell in love with and it's huge. We can't be with each other at all times in the house. If we were he would drive me crazy."

"He's been better, though?" I nodded.

"He's been talking to someone. I want to speak with his brother and Edward knows I would want him with me so he wants to be prepared and better equipped to deal with that."

"That's great."

We did a few more exercises with my leg before Felix fitted me for the boot that I would be using for my walking today. He informed me I'd have to go back to the hospital to get a more fitted one.

Our PT session flew by and I didn't even hear Edward come in. He was watching us from one of the benches. Felix got me all set up to leave, giving me a few exercises to do at home. Edward frowned, but kept his mouth shut.

As I hobbled out to the car, he took it as his opportunity to speak. "So ya gonna just walk around all the time?"

"That's the p-plan," I answered honestly.

"Ya gonna fall like last night?"

I stopped, turning around to face him. "Okay, get it out," I said, lifting my hand off my crutch and waving it at him.

"Ya don't get it," he yelled. "Last night ta walk in and see ya struggling. Ya couldn't even sit up straight. Then when I tried ta help ya… Bella, ya snapped at me. Why don't ya just twist the knife in deepa? When ya hurt it kills me!"

He stood in front of me exposed. This was Edward now, raw and very open. There was no holding back, which I was proud of, but in some ways now I had to start facing some of my own hang ups that he was avoiding before.

Edward tugged his cap down, but I saw he was crying. I leaned forward, nudging the bill up his green eyes met mine.

"I hate this," he puffed out as I wiped his cheeks.

"I know, but I need to walk," I murmured. "I can't le-let fear hold me back from moving forward, Edward."

"I know," he mumbled.

"Baby," I sighed, cupping his cheek as I leaned on my crutches. "I'm getting better. Me falling or even struggling shows that I'm not going to let what happened stop me from getting better."

Edward gently tugged on my crutches before wrapping his arm around my waist. My arm instantly went around his shoulders and we walked together back to his truck.

"It's okay ta lean on me," he said, kissing my neck as he lifted me in on the passenger side.

"But what about when you're not around?"

"For now I'm here and I want ta help, quit bein' so damn stubborn," he smiled, biting my bottom lip.

"Hmm," I mumbled against his lips.

When we got home, Edward went and showered before he had to head into the bar. Esme and Olivia were coming to spend the night with me here. Since we didn't have much room, Edward inflated the air mattress he used for camping and put it in the middle of the living room.

Earlier in the week I told Olivia we could have a sleepover. Of course we weren't sure how a three year old would be on her own and Esme made things easier by saying she wanted to come. There was also the fact that I couldn't fully tend to Liv on my own.

"Is this gonna be okay ta sleep on?" Edward asked, falling back onto the mattress.

"Well with you doing that a hole might ap-appear," I giggled as I rolled off the couch to lie next to him.

"Want a quickie?" he grinned, hovering over me.

"We have this set up and I don't need the living room smelling of sex."

Edward snorted, burying his face in my neck as he nom nommed and I laughed hysterically. "Stop," I panted. His hand glided up my side slowly until he squeezed my breast. I arched into his touch and his mouth captured mine.

"Quickie, please?" he whispered in my ear.

The knock at the door answered his question. His muffled grunts hit my skin and I laughed, rubbing his back. Edward rolled off me and buried his face in the mattress while I sat up, smacking his ass.

"I-it's open," I called.

Esme walked in while Olivia barreled past her, climbing up next to me. I watched as Edward laid still and she jumped on his back. He grumbled good-naturedly as she bounced on him. Esme set their bags down, then walked over to kiss my cheek.

"Uncle Eddie, horsey," Olivia squealed.

I laid down beside him, his face turned towards mine as his cheek pressed against the mattress. "Hi," I smiled, giving him a kiss.

"Shhh, I'm a dead horsey," he huffed as Olivia bounced harder.

"You're n-no fun," I poked his nose, holding my arms out to Liv.

"Uncle Eddie no fun?"

"Nope he's not."

"He just lay there. Not a good horsey," Liv told me.

Edward rolled over and pouted at her. "Lay one on me," he ordered and Olivia leaned over giving him a big smooch. "Aunt Bella too."

He got up after I kissed him and kissed his mother's cheek. "I gotta get ta work. Ya ladies try ta get some sleep."

"What time will you be back?" Esme asked, patting his shoulder.

"Probably after closin' time, so threeish? I'll be quiet ma," he promised. "Love ya ladies."

We all called out our love you's before he left for the bar. It was fun helping Liv get ready in her pajamas and letting her pick a movie out. There was a moment where she fought with Esme because she wanted to cuddle with me. Her warm little body snuggled close while she laid her head on my chest.

"If you get uncomfortable you can shift her off," Esme offered before going to get ready for bed herself.

"She's fine," I insisted, kissing her curls.

We laid there watching _The Little Mermaid_, Liv lazily played with the ends of my hair as her eyes started to droop. "That didn't take long," Esme laughed quietly, joining us on the makeshift bed.

"It is almost eight," I murmured, letting my fingers trace Olivia's face. "How is he?"

Esme sighed patting my shoulder. "He's depressed," she said quietly. "Since he hasn't been drinking the doctors are able to see the extent of how much he is suffering. He asks about you often. The guilt of that night is weighing him down."

"I think we're going to see him next month."

"You are?"

"Ed-Edward said he wants to be prepared. He's been seeing Maggie twice a week and he said he feels that may-maybe in a few more weeks he can face him. That he can also be there for me so I can lean on him, if it's too much."

"Bella, you go when you're ready."

"I know," I whispered, turning my attention back to the movie.

"Carlisle and I got tickets for _Romeo and Juliet _in Manhattan. We got extra tickets for you and Edward." Esme announced out of the blue.

"You didn't have to."

"Hush. This is to replace your Christmas gift since we couldn't go."

"I'm just getting the hang of walking. I'll slo-slow you all down," I frowned.

"Nonsense, Carlisle and I will take care of everything. There will be minimal walking for you. Anyway, if things get too hard, Edward will just carry you everywhere," she teased.

"That's not even a joke because knowing him, he would," I huffed.

**A/N: Sorry this is about a week late. RL was calling. This chapter was beta'd by Dolphin62598 and rainydays23, as always. Please, leave me your thoughts.**


	26. Chapter 26

**EPOV**

"So, we really haven't spoken of anything before Carlisle and Esme," Maggie said casually.

"There _was_ nothing before Carlisle and Esme," I shrugged, trying to nip this path of conversation in the bud.

"Is this how it's going to be?" she asked, as she lifted her brow at me. "You're a grown man, I thought we could have this conversation."

"I was nine when we went to live with them. It's all a haze."

"I bet you've told Bella. In fact, maybe I should give her a call," she added nonchalantly.

I puffed out a breath and tugged the bill of my hat over my eyes. "You know, the hat always goes down right before we speak of anything important."

I flipped her off only to hear her snort.

"Now, tell me what your biological parents were like," Mags added patiently.

"My father was a pianist for the Boston Ballet," I mumbled.

"That seems like fate that you met Bella then, huh?"

"I never told her one of my earliest memories is of me and Liz going to see _The Nutcracker _on opening night. That was before we lost him," I sighed.

"What happened?" Maggie pushed gently.

"Two thugs saw him walking alone. They mugged him and stabbed him. He bled out on the sidewalk," I told her.

I didn't remember him the way I wanted to. I remember he would sit me on his lap while he played at home, and he'd take me to the park to watch his buddies play football on Saturday mornings. The same park I play in now. Ed was tall, like I was, and wore glasses. He loved me. I knew that. I remember kisses and hugs. I was his boy.

It wasn't until I was in high school that I dug around about him. Esme helped me and that was when I found out I had a grandfather in Santa Cruz. He lived alone since my grandmother passed not too long after my father. Carlisle contacted him; we learned I was Edward Anthony Masen III. Apparently, after my father died, Liz disappeared with me. I knew she was pregnant with Jasper almost right after my father's death. She had to have been, with her popping a kid out almost every three years.

"Do you remember this time?"

"No, but when I was sixteen, Esme and I dug around. I had a grandfather that was looking for me," I explained. "He had trouble getting around, which is why I went to college at USC."

"You moved back here because of your niece," she stated, because she knew this much.

"My grandfather died the spring before that. I had nothing tying me to Cali after that. I was the only _Masen_ left. My gramps was a retired jazz pianist. When he would play for me I wondered if that was how my father played. He had this blessed gift in his fingertips," I said wiggling my fingers.

"Did you ever find out why your mother kept you from your father's family?"

"I don't know much, only that she was an undergrad for law at Harvard when she met my dad. She came from money. Her father was in politics. They liked my father and loved me. She got pregnant with me before she started law school, it was a setback, but they were happy…" I let out a breath. "My grandfather told me everything when Ma and I first flew out to see him. I was loved. He had all of these pictures of me with them. I never saw any light in Liz's eyes, but those pictures captured a happy young wife and mother."

"Edward, what changed for her?"

"He told me after the funeral she was drinking heavily… he and my grandmother offered to take us back with them. She refused. I don't know what happened really since I had to have just turned three while she was pregnant with Jazz, and Isaac was living with us. Her father cut off all contact with her. They tried to get custody of me, but that's when she took off," I explained, remembering a little bit of the struggle my adoption was.

Jazz and Rose weren't wanted by anyone, but I had family trying to take me. They contacted the state saying I was their grandson. When they were told about my siblings, they said I was their only grandchild. That was another court visit where I told the judge I wanted to stay with my brother and sister. Esme and Carlisle gave me a home. One filled with love, and I was happy.

"Do you ever wonder what would have happened if you would have gone to live with your grandparents?"

"I wouldn't have known I had siblings and they would never have met Esme and Carlisle."

"Do you believe in fate?"

I lifted up the bill of my hat and glared at her. She was up to something.

"What I'm saying is that we can't control everything, you can't look back at 'what ifs' or alternate realities," she said, steepling her fingers together. "But, what good will that do when everything is said and done at the end of the day? How did you meet Bell?"

Now, I was shooting death rays at her.

"I see what you're trying to do," I gritted.

"Humor me, how did you meet the love of your life?"

"She walked into my bar."

"Did she have a reason? Was it planned that she was just going to walk into your bar?"

"Her boyfriend told her he loved her, she freaked out and came to get wasted on her way home. I think she felt guilty because she didn't love him back," I mumbled.

"Really?" she asked, surprised.

"Really," I confirmed.

"Well, this just helps me drive my point home," she said, rather smugly.

I glared again, waving for her to continue.

"My point is you can't control everything. Sometimes things happen, good or bad, that get us on the path we need to be on," she said proudly.

"Thanks, wise one," I said dryly.

Her clock on her desk pinged and she was still all smiley and smug. "Well, Edward, our time is up. I know that you and Bella are planning to see Jasper in a few weeks, so I think that will be the focus of our next visit."

"Can Bella be there?" I asked uncertainly, knowing that I needed her there for this conversation.

"Of course."

"'Kay, see you next week," I mumbled, with a wave, trying to get out of there as soon as possible.

On the drive home, I tried to think about what we talked about. My father would have been Carlisle's age. They were both born in April, my dad was a few weeks older than he was. If what I was told was correct, he and Liz would have still been married and I would have probably had other siblings. A pang in my chest hurts for Rosie, I couldn't even think of a life without her. Jasper, a lot of his bad blood wouldn't have been in a brother from my father. All those years ago at Liz's funeral, I remember Benjamin saying his Jamie looked like me; he had it wrong. His Jaime looked like Jazz and Rosalie. They all looked like Liz except for me. I looked like my father.

I sighed, getting out of my car and headed up to our loft. Bella was on the couch reading a book. I saw the dark red on her toes and tugged on them. "What happened to your piggies?"

"Rose painted them," she wiggled the toes on her good foot.

I leaned down, giving her a quick peck. "I…I, uh, have something to show you," I told her, as she took my hat off.

"Good or B-bad?" she teased, cupping my cheek.

"Good, I think," I smiled, heading over to the bookcase and pulling out the photo album my grandfather gave me when I first moved out to Cali.

Bella scooted up and I slipped in behind her on the couch. She rested between my legs with her back to me. I opened the album in front of her and watched confusion cover her face.

"This isn't you?"

"That's my father," I murmured, looking at the picture of him and my mom at an art show.

"Your mom looks like Rose," she commented.

"Mmm."

"Your dad passed away when you were little, right?"

There were a shit-ton of photos of him and I. I was six months old when he took me to my first Sox game. I sat on his lap and we're both in Sox gear. Bella smiles, letting her fingers trace over the baby me in the picture.

"You were adorable," she giggled lightly.

A lot of the pictures of the toddler version of me looked like I had static cling. My hair was always a wild mess. I watched Bella stop at the last picture. I was sitting in the pit on my father's piano. A few of the dancers from _The Nutcracker_ surrounded us.

"He was a p-pianist for the ballet?" she asked in awe.

"He was," I kissed her head. "Must be why I love to watch you dance so much."

"What happened to him, Edward?" she asked quietly.

I told her everything I'd told Maggie, but looked into her eyes, baring my soul to her. What it felt like growing up with Liz and her boyfriends. How, when I met my grandfather, this huge hole filled up like it completed me. I had family that wanted me, and always had, since the day I was born.

"Do you want to know what I think?" she asked me when I finished, her big brown eyes sparkling.

"You're going to tell me either way," I sighed, bringing her hand up for me to kiss.

"She's ri-right," Bella said slowly, giving me a gentle smile. "Think about Carlisle and Esme. They went through so much to have a baby, but Esme couldn't; then, you and your siblings came into their lives. Edward, she tells me all the t-time how much of a gift all of you are. Maybe your father helped," she added quietly.

"You think?" I whispered, turning it over in my mind.

_Was he always with me? Did he have my back?_

"I do," she murmured, giving me a kiss.

"Maggie wants to talk about going to see Jasper on my next visit, and I want you there."

"I will definitely be there," she grinned, hugging me to her.

"I'm scared," I told her honestly.

"About seeing him?"

"I still don't want you near him, what if he hurts you?"

"Edward," she cupped my face. "He didn't inten-intentionally hurt me in the first place. It just happened. I'm okay. We are moving forward," she reminded me.

"The house," I grinned.

We were about to close on it, and I knew Bella was still a little overwhelmed with the biggest purchase we'd made in our adult lives. I had maneuvered her around the spacious rooms as she gazed around in awe. I knew at that moment we were making the right decision.

"We're going to be homeowners," she giggled, shaking her head.

"All we need to work on is maybe filling it up," I teased, thinking about her roaming the halls of our new home with a full, round belly.

"Let's get me off the cr-crutches, okay? Then we'll talk about babies."

"I think I want you to have my last name before babies."

"I want that too."

"Mmm," I leaned in, kissing her head.

She was right, this was us moving forward. She had even talked about sending her resume into a few places, hoping to get a lead on something. Together, we could build the kind of life we always wanted. A happiness that only she and I could have and a love that couldn't be touched.

**A/N: I apologize for this being so late. There were a few issues as to why this was late. I'm saying this now that hopefully this story will be back on the right track. Huge thanks to Dolphin62598 and my new beta mauigirl60.**


	27. Chapter 27

**BPOV**

I let my hand run over the silk of my gown that Esme had bought me. It was forest green and very sexy; a lot like something I would have worn before the accident. I was surprised with the dip in the front and back, but my scars weren't visible there. They were visible on my leg though, thankfully, the slit of my dress stopped at my walking boot. I had enough room to walk and not get wrapped in my dress.

I was doing better with walking on my own and Felix said as long as I didn't overdo it, I should be good to go to the ballet. Edward told me that we were carrying my crutches just as a precaution. I decided not to fight him on it because he was as anxious as I was about tonight.

His lips grazed my temple and I turned my head toward him to get another look at his tux. As much as Edward hated to dress formally, his tux fit him like a second skin, making him the gorgeous one out of the two of us.

"This dress is going ta look great on the floor of our room," he whispered lowly or so he thought.

"Edward," Esme scolded across from us.

Rosalie giggled, cuddling further into Emmett, her navy silk dress draped around her like she was a Grecian goddess. It was still sort of awkward with Emmett and, especially, with Edward. He wasn't quite as friendly as any of us would have liked.

"How about we all remain clothed until we are all in our rooms at the hotel?" Carlisle offered with a chuckle.

Esme glared at him before relaxing into his side. She looked beyond elegant in her burgundy gown. The neck was sort of a boat neck cut in the front and scooped down in the back, and I loved the long sleeves of her dress. Her hair was pinned in a low bun like mine, whereas Rose's hung down her back in curls.

Edward's hand gently kneaded the thigh of my bad leg. "Feel good?"

"Hmm," I just about purred.

The car started to slow and I could see the hustle of the hall outside the window. "This ballet is getting rave reviews," Esme commented, giving my hand a light squeeze.

Once the car stopped, the driver opened the door for us to get out. Edward squeezed my bare shoulder to get my attention. "Ye-yes?"

"If it gets ta be ta much in there, ya betta let me know, gorgeous," he murmured as he cupped my cheek.

"I will," I said simply.

He helped me out of the car and grabbed my crutches. I looped my arm through his free one as we caught up with his family at the door. I hadn't realized how big the venue was until we were inside. Edward promised me before we'd left Boston that he would keep me close and, so far, his promise hadn't waned.

Carlisle met up with one of the attendants, who led us to a service elevator. We had balcony seats that had handicap accessibility; hopefully, it would make it easier to get around during intermission.

"Babe, these seats," I breathed feeling the excitement flow through me.

"Ma knew ya would love em'," he grinned, giving me a chaste kiss.

"Everyone up ere' looks so stuffy," Rose grumbled.

"Hay," Edward crowed at her. "Show some respect."

Emmett was laughing at the antics that I had grown quite accustomed to. Esme wasn't looking too amused though.

"I can't take you two anywhere," she sighed.

To be honest, for as polished as Rose and Edward looked tonight, you couldn't take the South Boston out of them. Edward had pointed out little quirks that I had labeling me a country girl and I guess, like him, you can't take the sticks of Forks out of me.

I giggled, sitting in my seat as my boyfriend threw his arm on the back of my seat. "Com-comfortable?"

"Just cozy," he snickered, giving my nose a kiss. "Hay, give me yar hand for a sec, will ya?"

I squinted my eyes at him a moment before obliging him. "What are you up to?"

"This," he was quick to pull a thing from his tux pocket and slip it onto my ring finger.

"Ed-Edward?" my voice shook as I eyed the diamond on my hand.

"Marry me?" he grinned, and it was so cute and just so Edward.

He made it that simple and he was so sure. Calm, he had been the picture of calm all day. He had obviously planned this. The theatre lights started to dim, I caught the smiles of our family and Emmett. As the pit music started, I pulled a little on my new fiancé.

"Yes," I smiled against his lips.

"Christ, ya had me sweatin' for a sec. I mean if ya would have said no, that would have made our livin' situation pretty awkward," he teased, and I kissed him again.

We were engaged. I watched as Romeo moved with ease around stage, dancing his sorrow of Rosaline's rejection to Benvolio. He had no idea what was to hit his teenage heart. I felt my tears and Edward pulled me closer. I didn't know if it was the beauty of the ballet or the overwhelming love I had for Edward at that moment. It all hit me and I felt that I truly was blessed.

An ease settled over us as the ballet went on. My eyes were captivated by the movements on stage; I felt a tug in my heart, missing my first love. It was a mixture of a strange sense of loss and acceptance. The lights for intermission came on and Edward's stare was on me.

"I gotta piss," he informed me.

"You are so el-eloquent," I giggled.

"I know," he winked cheekily.

"Why don't we all stretch our legs and maybe get a drink?" Carlisle suggested, shaking his eldest son's shoulders.

We agreed and all went out into the reception area. Esme sat with me while the others rushed to the bathroom.

"You knew," I accused gently.

She took my hand, running her thumb over the diamond. "Actually, he decided to wing it," she smiled warmly.

"Wing it?"

"He's had the ring for quite awhile and I think he was trying to find the right moment."

"He has excel-excellent timing."

"Always has," she murmured, kissing my temple.

"Isabella?" a terse voice questioned.

My head whipped up and I met my mother's figure walking toward us. Esme was right about Edward's timing because his arm wrapped around my waist, pulling me into his side, giving my bad leg the support it needed.

"Re-renee," I stammered.

Her tight face contorted into what I assumed was a frown. She was in front of me, looking more pinched than I'd remembered; Phil was right behind her, giving me a sad smile. Her eyes roamed my body, starting at my damaged leg, until she landed on the scar at my hairline.

"What happened to you?" she hissed.

Edward didn't like it and snapped right back. "Who are ya ta care?"

"Her mother," Renee growled lowly. She was known in this crowd, so she wouldn't want to create a scene, but she didn't know Edward.

"Oh, ya her mother _now_," he snorted; waving the arm that wasn't holding me around.

"This must be your little Boston thug that Aro told me about," she stated dryly.

I frowned, not knowing what she was talking about. "That's rich coming from someone who up and abandons their kid," Edward spat, getting louder.

"I don't know who Aro is… are yo-you having me followed?" my voice quivered.

Had she been following me this whole time?

"Quit this, Isabella. Aro Voltaire said he spoke to you in April."

"Bell, what's she talkin' about?"

"I do-don't know," I panted, feeling slightly panicked.

I tried to run over things that had happened in April, everything added up except for this. Could I have met this Aro on the day of the accident? There were a lot of things missing from that day, and all I could remember was waking up and thinking about the morning sex I had just had with Edward.

"Again, I want to know what happened to my daughter," Renee demanded.

"Ya know what? Google it," Edward huffed, before swinging me up into his arms. "We're goin' back to the hotel," he hollered over his shoulder.

I looked over his shoulder and saw Esme wave her hand at us, letting me know she'd heard. Carlisle walked over to the group as my mother was trying to come after us. Esme and Phil weren't letting that happen.

"Can we call my dad in the car?" I whispered.

"Of course, yeah," he nodded, as we left through the doors.

Edward carefully placed me down before hailing a cab. I let out a breath as I leaned into him. He was my support, both literally and figuratively. "Ya have any idea what she was talkin' about back there?"

"No, I honestly never met that man or at least re-remember it."

"I can't believe that lady ruined our night."

"Stop," I said, placing my hands on his chest. "Nothing was ruined. Your proposal was the best part of my night."

"But she…" I stopped him again.

"I quit letting Renee ruin things for me when she left. I have my dad and I know he loves me, that's the only parental re-reassurance I need. You love me now and we'll get married… start a family of our own. She can't take that away, understand?"

"Yeah," he sighed, running his hand through his hair.

A cab finally stopped and we settled into the back seat. Edward pulled his phone out, already dialing my dad's number.

"Chief," Charlie answered gruffly.

"Daddy?" I whispered into the phone.

"Bella, so help me God if that boy did something…"

"No… I-I saw Renee," I told him quietly.

"Where are you?" he asked calmly, as Edward squeezed my hand.

"New York, the Cullens took us to the ballet, it was to replace my Christmas gift…" I trailed off. "Edward pro-proposed."

"He did, did he?"

I giggled feeling the happiness from earlier. "Yeah."

"This is before Renee?"

"Yeah," I sighed.

"She can't hurt you, Bells."

"She was talk-talking about a man that I supposedly spoke with."

"Did she give you a name? I'll look into it," Chief Swan said, jumping on the case.

"Dad," I huffed, as Edward kissed my hand, letting me know he was here for me.

"Bella, name," he ordered.

"Aro Voltaire," I mumbled.

"I'll have this looked into down at the station. Now, let me talk to my future son."

I held the phone out to Edward who stuck his tongue out at me, before greeting Charlie. "Yello?"

"Uh huh, the best."

"Yup."

"She'll email ya photos," he said grinning crookedly at me. "Ya comin' ta visit, Chief?"

"Hmm… Okay talk ta ya lata," Edward said, ending the call.

"That's it?"

"He wanted ta talk some man talk," he teased, cocking his head at me.

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah, makin' sure I'm takin' care of ya," his eyes softened.

"You always take care of me."

"I try."

"Dad's going to look into Aro and maybe your parents got some more info or informed her of what happened."

Edward remained quiet until we were almost fifteen minutes away from the hotel. "That Renee is like the botox queen… she really tryin' to hold on, huh?"

I burst out laughing, knowing I had answered his question right tonight.

**A/N: I hope this starts to cover the Renee closure. Let me know what you think! Was the proposal so Edward? I have to give huge props to Dolphin62598 and mauigirl60 for all their help; they make things not be such a mess. Also I posted my new story Which Brings Me to You, you might want to read the one-shot Santa's Kiss first for it to all make sense.**


	28. Chapter 28

**BPOV**

"I love ya, Bella," he murmured, sinking further into me.

My fingers clawed at his back as he pounded into me, hitting all the right places. Places I only wanted _him_ to hit. I felt so much more with him than I had with anyone else.

"Edward," I cried, tugging at the nape of his bronze locks.

He hiked my bad leg up to rest on his hip. We were lying sideways and, for now, this position was comfortable.

"Hmm, feels so good," he panted. "Tight, ya're so tight."

"Babe, I-I'm going to come," I moaned, as he pulled himself closer.

I clenched around him and his undoing followed right after mine, his face hidden in my hair. My hand ran down his back and I smiled as the cold metal of my ring trailed across his skin.

"Are ya okay?" he whispered against my ear, his hand rubbing the bare thigh of my bad leg.

"We're in our master bedroom. In our bed. I've ne-never been better," I sighed, kissing his lips.

His hand kneaded my thigh as his eyes searched mine. It had been over a week since the run-in with my mother. Things had been rather crazy with us moving in that Edward hadn't seen Maggie, and our visit with Jasper had been pushed back.

The night we'd left the ballet, Esme and Carlisle came to check on me, of course. Once we'd gotten back to the room, we'd celebrated our engagement, forgetting all things involving my mother. Edward had left with them and I had fallen asleep. The next morning, Esme had come in with bruised knuckles, and I had known by the guilty look on her face what had happened.

"_Wicked, right hook,"_ Edward had boasted that morning. Renee had explained to the Cullens how she'd found me and had sent one of her minions to tape my performance. She had seen what I could be, and how extraordinary my potential was to her. I had been blessed with a gift and my father had been holding me back, pushing an education onto me when I'd obviously had God-given talent.

They hadn't gone into specifics about my accident with her, but I assumed she'd looked it up, based on the phone call I'd received a few days ago. She'd demanded to know why I would stay with a hoodlum and not press charges against his brother for ruining my life. I had hung up on her, calling my dad. Charlie, again, was on the plane as soon as I'd said I needed him, and we placed a restraining order against her.

"I can't believe we're all moved in," he sighed.

"We had enough people to help," I pointed out.

"We do have a pretty wicked support system."

I brought my hand up and rested my palm on Edward's stubbled cheek. "I sometimes can-can't get over how much I love you."

"I don't want ya ta get over it," he teased, nipping my nose.

"You know what I mean," I patted his face.

"We've been through the ringer, gorgeous. I know that I will do my very best ta keep ya safe and happy."

"I know," I murmured, as my eyes started to droop shut.

* * *

><p>It was a few days later that we were finally sitting in Maggie's office. I stared at Edward, in disbelief over his behavior. He sat slouched down on Maggie's couch, with his hat over his eyes.<p>

"Edward," I hissed.

"What?" he asked, not moving one bit.

"You're being dis-disrespectful."

"He's fine, Bella," Maggie laughed from her chair.

My eyes grew wide and she smiled reassuringly. "I like that my patients are comfortable while we talk, and if Edward hiding behind his hat gets him to talk, I'm fine with it," she explained.

"So, you two are going to visit a certain brother?"

I nodded and noticed Edward tense. His hands rested on his knees, my hand covering his right one, which I squeezed.

"Ya know Bella agreed to marry me, Mags?" Edward started, quickly changing the subject.

"I noticed the ring, Ed," she replied dryly.

"I'm lo-looking forward to seeing Jasper," I said, gaining both of their attention for the subject at-hand.

"Do you know what you want to say to him, Bella?"

I nodded slowly before finding my voice. "I forgive him."

Edward's hat was off and he glared at me. His hands went back onto his lap, but I saw his knuckles turning white from the fists he was making.

"I don't want him hating his brother for the rest of our lives. I went through enough of that when I was younger," I sniffed.

"Care to elaborate?" Maggie asked gently.

"After my mother had left us, my dad turned to the bottle. For years, I had hated them both, they'd abandoned me. My mom was on the other side of the country, while my dad mentally checked out, drowning his pain out. All I had was hate."

"Bella, what made your father decide to get sober?"

"His best friend sat him down and told him… if he didn't get his act together, he would see to it that I wouldn't be living with him any longer."

"Gorgeous," Edward murmured, trying to pull me to him.

"Don't you see? This is Jasper's sec-second chance," I stressed, shifting away from him. "Your mom said he wants to get better. He needs support to acc-accomplish that. He needs his family, but most of all, he needs his big brother to tell him it's going to be all right."

"I…I…" he was at a loss for words, but I felt the need to drive my point home.

"How is he supposed to get better if he knows you hate him? He realizes what he's done with the relationships in his family and regrets it all. He has a daughter who barely knows him. He could be an am-amazing father if given the chance…"

"He almost killed ya!" he roared, panting out heavy breaths. "Ya crashed and the paramedics had ta revive ya. Yar brain bled out. Ya have a fuckin' rod in yar leg. I had ta sit in the waitin' room far those doctas ta tell me if ya were still alive. Yar heart quit beatin' far a second!" he cried, throwing his hands up.

His tears trailed down his face as he stared at me. The anger in his eyes made me feel Edward's anguish. Maggie cleared her throat, but our eyes stayed on each other's.

"Bella, other than forgiveness what do you want for Jasper?" she finally asked.

"I want him to enjoy his life. Olivia and Alice…" I trailed off as Edward's eyes widened. "Alice lo-loves him, she wants to be there for the both of them."

"She…" Edward started, his tone laced with disbelief.

I recalled several conversations I'd had with her over the last few months. The feelings she'd had when they had first met up until now. She had visited with him and told me how much good she'd seen in him. He was lost, according to her, but she saw his potential. If we could just get Edward to even tolerate him, I would look at it as a success.

"Edward, why did you ask Bella to marry you?" Maggie asked, trying to bring him back.

"I love her and I can't picture us not being married," he said, his eyes never leaving mine.

"He wants babies," I murmured, as I reached out to touch his hand.

Maggie smiled and nodded, tapping the end of her pen on her notepad. The look on her face slowly turned thoughtful and she stopped her tapping.

"Edward, do you want Olivia in your lives?"

He frowned, but didn't answer. I knew what his answer was; it was the same as mine: a definite 'yes'.

"I know your parents have guardianship over Olivia, but once Jasper proves he can be the father she deserves, she will be with him. If he and Alice were to last and got married, she could have a stable family unit. They could have children."

Edward stiffened, I knew where this was headed and I could only hope this would open his eyes.

"Bella, when you think of where your future lies, what do you see?" she asked, giving me a slight wink.

"Mar-marrying Edward, having a round belly because I'm carrying our child," I breathed out, seeing my words. "Summers in Nantucket, our children and their cousins running around on the beach or through our house."

As I finished, I felt Edward's strong arms wrap around me, holding onto me tightly. His tears soaked into the fabric covering my shoulder.

"We ca-can't have that for our children or your family if you don't make some sort of peace with your brother," I whispered into his ear.

He shook his head. I knew Rome wasn't built in a day, but I knew Edward and the kind of man he was. It hurt me to see the pain he was still going through, and that he was willing to endure a little more to help me. In the end, I wanted him to be free of his guilt and regret, because I also knew Edward blamed himself. If he could have just done something sooner or been at the bar that night. I knew.

"I will go with ya and support ya, but let it be known I am only doin' it for ya and that little girl," he said shakily.

Once he calmed down, he opened up more to Maggie about other little things going on in our life. She asked about the house and Edward went into details about what he needed to fix or update. The more he talked, the more grateful I felt that he had Maggie to talk to. I couldn't believe it, but I think therapy was working well for him. He was comfortable and trying to move forward.

**A/N: I know this is short, but it felt appropriate to keep it on this path. Tell me your thoughts. I am wrapping this story up so be prepared. As always a big thanks Dolphin62598 and mauigirl60 for betaing and all their suggestions!**


	29. Chapter 29

**BPOV**

I sighed, looking over my shoulder at Edward. Dad was sitting next to him, patting his back. When we'd arrived at the rehab facility, Edward started teetering on the edge of not wanting to be anywhere near this place. Once he'd seen Jasper, sitting at the table in the visitor's room, his hand on my elbow stopped me.

"_I go ova there and I'm gonna lose it," he gritted out._

"_Then I'll go talk with him," I soothed._

"_Yar not goin' alone, Bella."_

"_How about this," Charlie said, wrapping his arm around Edward's shoulders. "You and I can sit over here, that way you can still see them and not be so close."_

_Edward looked at the chairs along the wall and exhaled as he nodded to Dad. "Anythin' goes amiss, I'm over there in a second," he huffed._

_I nodded before pulling him into me for a kiss. "This is so-something I need to do," I reminded him. "It will be some sort of closure for both of us. It will be good."_

_He leaned down warily, giving me a chaste kiss before turning to Dad. I moved across the room to where Jasper sat, looking down at the table. He still looked the same as he did the last time I'd seen him. However, he looked as if he'd been eating better. He wasn't near as lanky as he had been. His skin was paler and he also had a beard now._

"_He-hey," I greeted him, nervously approaching the table._

_His head snapped up and his blue eyes widened. He stood up quickly. "Here… uh… can I help ya?"_

"_Yeah, can you hold these, ple-please?" I asked, handing him my crutches._

_I lifted the strap of my messenger bag over my head and shifted onto my good leg so I could sit. Jasper carefully laid my crutches down beside me._

That was ten minutes ago and now we both were sitting awkwardly. I didn't know what it was, but I could feel the anxiety rolling off Edward. Seeing him with the hood of his sweatshirt drawn up and his death grip on the sides of the chair was affecting me as well.

"He hates me," Jasper said quietly.

I let out a breath. I wasn't going to let him do this to himself. When Jasper left, the amount of support he had weighed on his recovery. Statistically, his odds of falling off the wagon were high, but as the Cullens and Alice had discussed, it was important to be there for him and not fail him.

"How is your re-recovery?" I asked, taking his focus off Edward.

He blinked at me as though he were searching for his words. "Ya stutter now," he said lowly.

I took a deep breath and exhaled. Nodding, I slowly reached out and touched his hand. "It's gotten be-better."

"It's from hitting your head," he said, looking at my hand on his.

"I had surgery and am still recovering," I said perfectly.

"Yar leg has a rod in it?" he asked, nodding at it.

"Yeah."

"Ya were a beautiful dancer," he whispered.

"Thank you."

"No, ya were a beautiful dancer and now that's ruined. I caused that," he rasped.

He quickly fisted both of his hands and held them up to his eyes. His tears were leaking out, wetting his cheeks. I wasn't sure what I had said to get this kind of reaction, but I figured it was his guilt.

"Jasper," I said soothingly, hoping he would look at me.

"I have nightmares… I hit my head on the curb and was so fuckin' drunk. I see it when I sleep… close my eyes. Rose and I… I didn't hold ya… Rose said not ta touch ya. The dispatcher on the phone told her ta wait until the paramedics came… so much blood… so much," he whimpered, his eyes still closed tightly.

"I'm right here, Jasper," I murmured, tugging gently on his wrist. "What happened that night was an accident. Could it have be-been prevented? Possibly, but what has happened, happened."

He cried until I noticed his breathing slow. I glanced back at Edward whose head was still down as he rocked.

"It shouldn't have happened," Jasper said shakily. "I was an asshole. I couldn't stop drinking. It numbed me and allowed me ta check out. I didn't have ta deal with Olivia not havin' a mom or the fuckin' pain in my shoulder. I would black out and not see all the death that surrounded me in Iraq. Instead, I caused pain ta everyone around me because I didn't want to feel."

"Jas," I started.

"He's always been my hero… when I was a kid and we were living with our mother. He watched out far me and Rose. My dad used ta try and hit me, but Ed wouldn't let it happen. Mom got mad that Ed tried ta take a beating far me. She loved him, ya know? I know me and Rose were mistakes…" he trailed off, looking back at his brother. "He coulda had a different life. His grandparents wanted him. When he left far Cali, he didn't call home much. He had his grandfather."

I watched as Jasper relived the pain and jealousy he was now able to face. He thought he was losing the brother he had looked up to.

I touched his hand again causing his eyes to meet mine. "Have you talked to him about this?" He shook his head, dipping it down slightly.

"When his grandfather passed, I was already in the Marines and we hadn't spoken far a while," he admitted.

That's when it all clicked. Jasper and Edward had been broken for a long time; both had been dealing with it in different ways. Edward's way was mostly avoidance, whereas Jasper had turned to alcohol.

"You got shot and had to come home."

He shrugged. "In group and my private therapy sessions, they make me talk about where I came from. I was a kid when ma and dad adopted us, but I wasn't little like Rosie. I remembered everything befare them, maybe not as much as Ed, but I remembered it."

He became quiet and I had a feeling he was going into a dark place so I dug into my messenger bag of pictures I had taken of Olivia. He went through them with a small smile on his face.

"Ya know, she's the best thing I've eva done," he murmured, letting his thumb trace her face.

It was a picture of Edward and Olivia on the couch at Esme's house. Edward was holding her up over his head and Liv's head was thrown back in laughter.

"I'm so very sorry," he sniffed as he wiped at his eyes.

"I know," I sighed. "We're just going to have to move forward, okay?"

He nodded, finally looking back up at me. "Yar a great girl far my brotha, Bella."

"He's a great guy for m-me too," I smiled, standing to gather my things. "I'll be back to visit, maybe with Alice next time."

"Sounds good," he exhaled. "Please, tell him that I miss him."

"I will." He stood and helped me with my crutches and I made my way over to my biggest support system.

Dad was the first one to stand, giving my head a quick peck. "I'm proud of you, Bells."

"Thanks, Dad. He deserves forgiveness."

I heard my guy grumbling from his seat. I handed Charlie my crutches before pulling on Edward's hands. He finally let me take them away from his hood before he stood and hugged me.

"I need a fuckin' cigarette," he breathed in my ear.

"Got one in my bag," I whispered against his cheek.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't talk," he replied, nuzzling his nose against my neck.

"One st-step at a time. You weren't ready and that's okay." I kissed him in encouragement. "He misses you."

"I heard," he grunted, holding me closer.

When we left the rehab facility that day, I felt we were finally moving in the right direction. A year ago, I was in a place where I didn't know what I wanted out of life. I was just settling down and moving in the direction of what was expected of me.

I didn't know if the accident gave me a new outlook or if meeting Edward did. I knew if it wasn't for him, I might still be with Emmett and we might have moved to Tennessee to be closer to his family. Everything constantly being a 'what if' was not acceptable for me.

I was marrying a man who loved me unconditionally and supported me in anything I did or ever wanted to do. Whether I wanted to go back to teaching dance, writing a book or even getting into publication, Edward was there to give me a kiss on the nose and tell me I would be great at anything I did. At times, I felt he was biased, but I knew I should trust his judgment.

After the meeting with Jasper, I also took a step back from trying to get him to mend things with his brother. Edward continued to see Maggie and work out his issues with her. I did visit Jasper a few more times with Alice and Esme before he was released.

Not that everyone was waiting for the other shoe to drop, but we were all aware that Jasper could relapse and go back to the bottle. I had a strong feeling that Alice wouldn't let that happen if she could help it.

I was a girl who, at one time, had felt like I was a horrible person because I didn't think I could love; but now all I do is love. I felt such an all-consuming love for Edward that I knew it would be just him for the rest of my life.

I thanked God every day I woke up to a new day; a life with Edward and our friends and family.

I would try to take none of it for granted because I was given this second chance.

**A/N: And here is the last chapter! Next up is the epilogue. Please, let me know your thoughts! Mauigirl60 and Dolphin62598 are my wonderful beta's, so huge thanks to them!**


	30. Chapter 30: Epi Part One

**BPOV**

I tapped my toe down before extending my leg out in front of me. I held the position before bending it carefully at my knee. It had taken years for me to get to this point. Physical therapy with Felix and speech therapy with Charlotte had gotten me far. I could walk and teach dance. My stammer was gone with the exception of when I was worked up.

I exhaled a breath before bringing my leg down. I heard the clap behind me as I turned to see my husband, leaning in the doorway of the studio. Our two-year-old son blinked tiredly against his shoulder. "Hey," I smiled, making my way over to them.

"Ma," Nolan grumbled with a pout, and reached for me. This kid was Edward made-over with the exception of his dark brown hair.

"My baby looks beat," I murmured, cuddling him close.

I felt his breathing slow against my neck and knew he was out for the count. I also knew that trying to get him bathed and clothed was going to be loads of fun.

"He's crazy, I swear," Edward snorted, shaking his head. "Took him ta the park. He thought he could play some ball with us."

I smiled, kissing Nolan's curls. He smelled of outside and little boy. Edward kissed my head before asking. "Where's Connor?"

"In the office doing his homework," I answered.

"Bell, he's five. Does he even _get_ homework?"

"Learning to write the alphabet is his work," I said, shrugging.

"Touché, Missus," he winked. "Did he have fun this afternoon?"

"He's a natural," I sighed.

Connor was three-years-old when Edward had walked into one of my toddler classes. That kid had watched a few of the girls until he was kicking his shoes off to join us. He was what my mother would have called 'raw talent'. We had only just recently begun discussing what we were going to do with his enthusiasm for dance.

Soccer had started up at his school, for which he also seemed to carry an appreciation for. I was fine with whatever his choices were. At the end of the day, they were Connor's decisions. Since we had Nolan, I could see the difference in both my boys.

Connor, from a baby, enjoyed music, ranging from classical to classic rock. He enjoyed watching Edward tinkering away at the piano and started lessons last summer. Nolan loved being rowdy and head-butting. I could see him being a mini football player.

It had taken one comment between Jasper and Emmett to set Edward off. He didn't care that Connor danced. He'd told me as long as he loved it, we'd support him, and I knew that was the reason I fell in love with Edward. Jasper had some nerve to even say anything, especially given his strained relationship with Edward and Emmett.. It had taken Carlisle and Garrett to hold my husband back.

"Mommy?"

"There he is," Edward grinned, as Connor took off in a sprint, jumping into his arms.

"Hey, Daddy," he giggled.

Connor's rusty-colored hair was just as unmanageable as his father's, now that I could see them side-by-side. He was a perfect mix of the two of us. Freckles dotted his face and his green eyes shined just as his father and brother's did, but Edward declared all the time that his face was all me.

"Ya learn anything new from yar Ma?" he asked, slightly bouncing him on his hip.

"Yeah, let me show you," he smiled brightly.

Edward set him down and squatted down so he was more on his level. It was something he did with both boys. He had told me once he didn't like talking down at them so I guess this was his way of communicating on their level.

"Ready?" Conner asked, resting his small hands on his father's shoulders.

"Always," Edward nodded, giving him a quick kiss on his nose.

I watched as he took a running leap, extending his left leg forward and right leg followed behind. He came to a stop with both feet in place. He smiled smugly just like Edward and I winked at him, causing his chest to puff out.

"Wasn't that cool?" Connor exclaimed, propelling himself into Edward.

"That was so cool, bub," Edward murmured, holding him close.

I knew what he was feeling because every time either boy had a milestone or accomplished something, I felt how lucky we truly were. When I was pregnant with Connor, there were times when I would wake up to Edward talking to my belly or tears soaking my shirt covering my stomach. We had taken nothing for granted and God had blessed us with both of our children.

"Livia showed me and now I can do it!"

"Where _is_ Liv?"

"Office with Ali," I said, giving him a knowing look indicating that she was in a mood.

Olivia, at nine-years-old, had been spending more time at our house lately. Alice and Jasper had tied the knot two years ago. It had been a long road for all of them. After Jasper left rehab, he'd been sober for eight months. He and Alice had moved in with each other and just before Olivia was to join them, Jasper had relapsed. It had been Edward who had shoved him against a wall, telling him his options. He had gone to AA and counseling and was clean for a year. He had started talking about marriage and Alice had been on the fence. His low self-esteem from her hesitation caused yet another relapse.

That time, Olivia stayed in Alice's custody while Jasper went to live with his parents. I was as neutral as Switzerland, while Edward had gone back to not speaking to him. The trust between them had been shot - or more so, the trust on Edward's side had remained shattered.

Once Jasper had been clean for a few weeks, he and Alice sat down and talked about their next steps. She'd laid it out there for him that in order for her to have the trust to marry him, he had to stay sober. He promised and swore that he wouldn't drink again. I have to say he has since kept his word; now their family is expecting a new addition and, in a month, Alice and Jasper will have another daughter.

We walked into the office; Nolan let himself sag into me. Liv was on the couch, bopping to her iPod, and Edward leaned down to kiss her head. "Hay, monster," he grinned.

Liv ripped her ear buds out, launching herself at Edward. Alice rolled her eyes at her stepdaughter's change in attitude.

"Uncle E," she squealed.

"Olivia," Alice scolded, nodding her head at me and Nolan.

"He's good," I told her. "Sleeps like his daddy. Fireworks could be going off and he would still be sleeping."

She shook her head, standing up carefully. Connor came over, wrapping his little arms around her as best as he could, and kissed her belly.

"Can I keep this one?" she teased, running her fingers through his hair.

"I needs to go home with Mommy and Daddy, Aunt Ali," he giggled.

"But you're _my_ sweetheart," she whined.

I moved closer to them and she moved to catch a glance at Nolan. "You two have such cute kids," she sighed.

"Look who's talkin'," Edward said, swinging Liv around.

She was beautiful. Her golden curls were wild and the freckles on her face were pretty darned cute. Her eyes were now a greenish-blue and so bright. Edward had said she was following Rose's legacy of being a heartbreaker.

"She's going to give her dad gray hair for sure," Alice sighed.

I tugged at her elbow and shook my head. I had been here with them all afternoon. I knew the storm that was brewing. Liv had gotten into it with Jazz this morning. She had been playing on the iPad that Edward and I had gotten for her birthday, a gift that Jasper was none too pleased with her having. I had told Al what we were getting her beforehand, which she had been fine with. He went on about Liv not respecting him, that she never gave Edward an attitude. It was true, but my husband, again, was like the kid whisperer.

"Hay, I'm takin' these crazies out there ta show me their dancin' moves," Edward said, giving us both a warning glance.

We nodded and I went to sit with Nolan on the couch. Alice slowly sat beside me, looking at her hands.

"She wants to stay with you guys tonight," she mumbled.

"I know."

"If she doesn't come home with me then Jazz will get pissy."

"What's going on, huh?" I nudged her.

"I think there's a lot of jealousy flowing through my Cullen household," she confessed.

"Go on," I encouraged.

"Liv is jealous of the new baby and Jazz is jealous of Edward's relationship with Liv. I get he's her dad, but he doesn't understand that he wasn't there for so long. With everything that happened when she was so little, I know she's not upset about that, but his relapses and everything else she remembers, Bella."

"But things have been good for a while too, Al," I reminded her.

Jasper had been working as a mechanic for the last four years. He was good at it and it was decent money. Alice, of course, was still very much loaded. Her parents hadn't really cared that she got married. They'd sent a check and called it a day. They'd even gifted them a house in the Hamptons, which Alice and I had used for girls trips.

At times, Jasper felt inadequate and self-conscious for what he didn't have. He never said anything to Ali, but we all saw that money bothered him. He had made comments about how Edward and I lived as well as Rose and Emmett. They had married a few years ago and once Rose had finished school, moved to Tennessee to be closer to Em's family. Em was an engineer and Rose owned a salon and spa.

"I need a break," Alice whined.

"You're almost full-term, no time-outs," I explained, with a smile.

I glanced at my baby and thought of Connor. There had never been time where I'd needed a break from them. I enjoyed their giggles and their climbing into bed with us in the mornings.

"Can Liv stay with you tonight?"

"You know the answer, but will that solve anything?"

"I need to talk to Jasper; we have to discuss all the animosity in the house."

"You two do whatever you need to do," I said, carefully standing up.

"You know you're the best sister I could ever ask for," she whispered.

"Ditto," I grinned. "We've been through everything together and you know I always have your back."

* * *

><p>Edward's arms wrapped around me and I sunk into him as the warm water pelted us. "The kids," I warned.<p>

"Nolan is in bed and Connor and Liv are watchin' a movie in the game room," he murmured in my ear.

"We don't have time for fooling around," I sighed.

"I just wanted a few minutes with ya, gorgeous."

"So, this is completely innocent?" I asked, not convinced.

His hands came up and squeezed my breasts, causing me to moan. "Maybe not _completely_ innocent," he laughed.

"Edward."

"Okay, let me wash your hair," he offered, settling down.

It was when we were in our room getting dressed that we started the conversation that we needed to have. He sat on the bed in his sweatpants and I pulled my tank top over my head. I hadn't yet gotten my shorts on when he pulled me to him by the back of my thighs.

"Hello," I giggled.

"So, what did ya and Al talk about while I created a diversion earlier?"

"Liv and Jasper aren't getting along."

"Kid can't help it if she knows her old man's a knucklehead," he said, shrugginged.

"Did she say something?"

Edward's forehead rested against my stomach before he looked up at me. "She asked if she could live with us."

I let out a breath. "Did she say why?"

"Jazz yells at her… she's frustrated I'd guess. She said Alice is her boss in the house."

"Do you really think he yells?"

He quirked his brow at me. I knew Jasper had his moments of being on edge, especially when it came to Olivia. Those were the times he would call his therapist or sponsor. Alice said she saw a lot of guilt when it came to that child. Edward said it was more to do with Jasper seeing a lot of Lucy in her, even though she looked nothing like her birth mother.

"Ya want ta know what I think?"

"You're going to tell me," I smiled, leaning down to kiss his head.

"Ya see how gushy he gets with Alice and how he cries over everythin' with the new baby?" I nodded. "He's treating the baby like it's a new opportunity. Like he's gonna be fatha of the year or sumptin'. He forgets he already has an amazing daughter. Just cuz she didn't come from Alice doesn't mean he gets ta treat her like trash."

"Alice would never…"

"I know Alice would never let that happen and how much she loves Liv, but I know that shit and how he resents things in his life," Edward said knowingly.

I felt the pain in my heart for Liv. We had our boys and I don't think I could even begin to describe the love I have for them, but Liv wasn't even my child and I felt the same way for her.

"Ma came inta the restaurant the other day wantin' ta talk. She said her and Dad were talkin' 'bout having Liv stay with them for a while after the baby's born."

"Okay," I said slowly.

"Ma and Dad haven't had kids in the house for some time and I think maybe we need ta talk ta Jazz and Alice. I mean, we have the boys and they're all in the same school. We can help out."

"Alice won't go for it."

"They'll have a newborn and Jazz will be a tickin' time bomb. Bet. I'm thinkin' of Olivia, Bell. We can take care of her for just a bit," he pleaded, and I saw how much he wanted this.

Even though I felt as if things could get messy from us stepping in, I felt better knowing Olivia's best interests were put in front of everyone else's.

**A/N: This is the epi part one. The second part will be another slight time skip. Your thoughts? A huge shout out to Mauigirl60 and Dolphin62598, my betas for all their help and opinions! **


	31. Chapter 31: Epi Part 2

**EPOV**

I lay back against the lounge chair as Nolan snoozed on my chest for the past fifteen minutes. Bella had the huge-ass beach umbrella set up so if the kids wanted to nap, or if she or I needed a break, we could go under it and not fry in the sun's rays.

I looked over and watched my wife building an elaborate sandcastle with Liv and Connor. The kids moved around her while she kneeled in the sand. To be honest, her black bikini was sexy as fuck; the slope of her stomach where our third son was growing just added to how hot she was.

I had knocked her up again five months ago. She'd said she wanted to try for a girl; we ended up finding out last month that we were having another boy. We're not complaining, though, because the two we already have are pretty great.

Connor had always been this reserved little guy and Nolan was our rowdy one. Now, at three, he was into a lot more. I had to chase him down the beach, which was the only way to tire him out enough to take a nap. The kid hated naps otherwise.

"Are you drifting off, babe?" Bella asked, taking a seat next to me.

"I'm starting to." I lifted one of my closed eyes to peek at her. "How are you feeling?"

"Stop," she said with a grin. "He's kicking up a storm. I think he like the beach."

"Think about it; next summer, we'll have three of these knuckleheads to wrangle."

"I love the sound of that, actually."

"Hmm," I hummed in agreement.

We fell into a nice silence until we heard the buzzing of Bella's phone. "Alice is feeding Ava and they'll be down."

"Is _he_ coming?"

"No, Jasper is staying at your parents' house with your dad."

That douche who everyone calls my brother had flown off when Bella, Alice and I had come to the decision that Olivia should live with us for a while. Alice thought it would be best due to all the stress of having a newborn in the house. We were all pretty sure Jasper couldn't handle it and something would set him off, so the three of us worked together.

I loved my sister-in-law. Over the years, she had gone above and beyond to always put Olivia's well-being first. This time, she gave Liv to us. When baby Ava was born, Olivia was hesitant about wanting to see her but as we sat in the waiting room, I explained to her how Ava would need her help.

Jasper sat through my whole spiel and had to leave toward the end. I had come to an understanding a long time ago that I had failed him. He was my little brother and I should have done a lot of things for him. Bella, though, had made me realize that I'd done all that I could. He hasn't spoken to me since the day Olivia had come to live with us.

"Is Ma coming down?"

"She is, and they said Rose and Em have just got off the ferry."

"They're staying with us?"

"Your sister demanded it," she informed me, rolling her eyes.

Nolan started to shift and Bella got up and carefully kneeled beside us. "I want to put more sunblock on him."

"Better do it while he's unconscious," I snorted.

"He did give me an awful fight earlier," she sighed.

"The kid is wicked stubborn," I added, with a chuckle.

She shook her head and started to apply the sunscreen to his face, back and shoulders. Then she started on me. "Hay!" I said.

"You need it," she said firmly. "We're pale and we burn just as easily as the boys. You also get clingy when you're burnt."

"I don't…"

"You _do_, now stop," she dismissed me, placing a kiss on my chest before lathering me up with sunscreen.

"Connor, Liv…come here, kiddos," Bella called, as both kids ran over.

"Aunt Bella, we just put that stuff on," Liv protested.

"Over an hour ago," Bella reminded. "We were in the water so it's best to reapply."

Just as Olivia was going to respond, I stepped in. "Hay, no lip," I warned, arching my brow.

She huffed but gave Bella her arm. Bella rolled her eyes and went to work on getting the kids sun protected.

"Thank you, Mommy," Connor said politely.

This kid's personality was what I believed to be every good thing from me and Bella. He was very well-mannered and behaved. I tried to keep up with both boys and their interests because they liked so many different things. On Saturdays after my football games in the park, I would take Connor to the museum or one of the libraries near us. He was like a sponge; he absorbed everything, constantly learning new things to tell me.

"You are quite welcome, baby," she responded, with a huge grin.

Connor ran back over to Olivia and they resumed building their castle. "I love vacations, gorgeous," I yawned.

"I know you do," she said, leaning down to kiss my head. "I'm going to get the food for the grill, watch the kids?"

"I got them," I agreed, sitting up so I wouldn't fall back into a light snooze.

As she was getting ready, Nolan decided he wanted to wake up. "Daddy, I wanna play," he said, sliding off me and tugging on my hand.

"Wanna build a castle with Liv and Connor?"

"No, football!" he bellowed.

"Of course," I said dryly.

I noticed Ma and Alice coming around from the side of the house. They both had those cover-up thingies that Bella wore sometimes. Ava waved excitedly at me, babbling up a storm.

"Yes Av, Uncle Eddie sees you," Al cooed to her seven-month-old daughter.

Nolan groaned, shaking his head. This had been his thing lately, he wasn't exactly a clingy child, but he wasn't a fan of Bella and me holding or playing with other babies. This would probably be a problem when he meets his new brother.

"Ava, Daddy doesn't wanna hold you," he mumbled, smacking her hand away.

"Hay," I hollered, pulling back. "What did your Ma tell you about that?"

"Hitting's not nice."

"What did you just do?"

"I didn't hit," he argued in his scratchy Bostonian kid voice.

Bella had been on me for months about taming back my accent. This kid was starting to sound all "southie" and she was afraid they wouldn't let him into the private school Connor was just enrolled in. They'd think he was too much of a hooligan. She told me I could control it. When I asked how was I supposed to do that, she reminded me that when we traveled, I was able to hold back, like when we vacationed out in Cali or on our honeymoon in Ireland. I make my "ta" sounds into the correct enunciation "to". I think she's crazy, but she pointed out that when I pursued her, I definitely sounded differently. Whatever, I don't have an accent. I sound normal.

"Hey, guys," Bella smiled, setting all the food up by the grill.

"Look at ya, lass," Ma cooed, hurrying over to her.

Now Ma had an accent.

"She's just wearing her suit?" Alice asked incredulously.

"Bella's body temperature is different from ours, she said she was having hot flashes," I whispered, rolling my eyes.

"I was always cold when I was pregnant with Ava. She's still tiny everywhere but her belly," she grumbled, as she set up camp in my lounger.

"Daddy, I wanna play football!"

"We'll play later, I have to make the food. You and Ava can play in the sand… or not," I finished, watching Alice set up this beach pack-and-play shit.

"I not sitting in that," he said.

Bella's hand rubbed my back and I smiled down at her. "Ma, I not going in there! That's for babies," Nolan repeated.

"That's for _Ava_, Nolan," Bella explained.

He nodded, but still made a face. "I might take him upstairs before I start the food."

"Someone definitely didn't get their N-A-P in," she agreed, spelling it out loud.

* * *

><p>I sat with Nolan in the glider mom had bought us when Connor was born. This thing was huge and Bella and I loved it when we came here for vacations. I glanced down at my sleeping son, letting out a sigh. This is what I lived for, my boys and my wife. The night I almost lost Bella felt like a blur and we had come so far. We've experienced so much already in our life together.<p>

"Emmett and your sister are here," Bella announced quietly from the doorway.

I noticed she had a cover-up on now. "The food."

"Emmett and your mom are grilling. I think your dad is coming down too," she explained, moving closer to us.

"Jasper?"

"He's mad, Liv wanted to stay with us. He wants her to move back…"

"What does Al say?"

"She misses her, but sees how well Olivia is doing with us. She said she wants to check out Brighton."

"Jazz will never go for putting her into a private school," I snorted.

"Alice wants the best for Olivia and I understand her side."

"You saw the attitude she's getting. Not to keep Jasper's kid from him, but kids throw 'I hate you' and 'you're ruining my life' around. He won't be able not to take those things personally," I admitted.

Olivia was a good kid, but she was heading into her teenage years. She reminded me a lot of Rosie at that age. My sister was this little Queen Bee who walked around with an attitude up until she met Emmett. Now, she was this well-put-together type-A woman. Emmett was a respected figure in their community in Tennessee and she was on the committees for charity balls. My little sister went from being a southie yank to a southern belle.

Bella stared at me before sitting on the arm of the chair. She leaned down, kissing my cheek. "You're a great father and an all-around amazing person," she whispered.

"You make me an all-around amazing person," I murmured, catching her lips again with mine.

"Ugh, even with a kid between the two of ya'all you're still at it," Rosie groaned from the doorway. I could also hear the slight southern twang to her voice.

"My house, my wife," I told her, shrugging.

I stood up carefully, laying Nolan down and kissing his head. When this kid was out, he was out completely.

I turned, taking in Rosie's blonde curls and tan skin. She was wearing white shorts and a navy polo; I could guarantee Emmett was matching her in almost the same outfit. Again, she was so type-A that everything had to match. Her iced engagement and wedding band set gleamed off her finger.

She gave me a face, but her hug told me how much she missed me. Once she let go, she crouched down near Nolan. She kissed his cheeks and peeked up at Bella.

"I need to come home more. I miss that they're not babies anymore," Rosie confessed quietly.

"You're coming back when Camden arrives, right?" I asked.

"I wouldn't miss it," she scoffed.

"When you gonna give me a niece or nephew, huh?"

"When I'm ready," she huffed, sticking her tongue out at me. "I'm too young."

I kept my mouth shut because one, Bella was giving me the look; and two, I wanted to say she was about the same age as Bella when we had Connor.

"Your husband better not be burning my food," I warned, switching subjects.

"My hubby is king of the grill!" She snorted at her joke.

The three of us walked out of the room. Bella snagged the baby monitor so we would know when Nolan decided to wake up.

"We have some back-up tonight," I whispered to Bella as Rosie walked in front of us.

"I already talked to her about it," she informed me with a coy smile.

As we stepped out onto the back deck, Emmett nodded a greeting my way. I was right; dude was wearing white cargos and an identical navy polo to my sister's. I still felt awkward with him at times, but I knew he loved my sister and treated her like a queen.

What caught my attention next really threw me for a loop. Jasper was sitting with the kids. Connor was on his lap, talking away, and Olivia was on the other side of them, trying to ignore him. His eyes stayed on her though.

I had my arm loosely hanging around Bella and noticed Dad playing with Ava. "He decided he wanted to come after all," Ma explained.

"Hmm," I mused.

"He's trying."

"I know."

That was the thing I knew. He had been different since Ava had been born. Though he chose to ignore me most of the time, I watched him with his youngest child. He was careful every time he held her. He'd whisper when he spoke to her and was very gentle. It was an experience he never had with Olivia and I think that's where her jealousy and spite toward him came from.

"Guys, time to chow down!" Emmett called, earning everyone's attention.

Bella went upstairs to get Nolan, and my entire family sat around the table. We all started to dig in as Bella sat beside me, getting the boys' plates ready. She smiled up at me and I gave her a quick kiss.

I had my two restaurants, a huge house and, at the end of the day, I came home to my wife and children. In this reality, I had everything I could ever want. I thank God every day that I had Bella by my side and that he let me keep her. She gave me this life to love and cherish.

**A/N: This is the end of Bostonward and his Bellerina. Huge thanks to all of you who have read and reviewed this fic. Your kind words and opinions keep me going. This chapter was beta'd by Mauigirl60 and is definitely better with her help! **

**I am writing a continuation of my one-shot Santa's Kiss called Which Brings Me to You. I noticed some have been asking me what's next and that's about it. I do have a few other fics started, but I'm not sure which one to post… We'll see though.**


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